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My email at 1and1 does delete when I delete it in OUtlook.
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in "more settings" advanced tab, I have checked: leave a copy of the message on the server and delete after 1 day.
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Ok, so the first statement is what lead me to believe you were using IMAP in Outlook, because you said deleting on the desktop deletes it when you look online at 1and1. The second statement is ACTUALLY what is happening, which is that Outlook is deleting the mail off the server after a day. The 2 aren't truly in sync, but just the message is getting deleted after a day.
Your outlook and Droid aren't aware of each other like you said, and there is no way for them to be aware of each other as long as you have them both set up as POP. You need IMAP to accomplish what you are trying to do.