Hi brandmarked, thanks for your comprehensive reply. Re Sense, yes I like it and think it's better than the stock Android - but HTC have released now released it for the Magic... which gets rid of the negative point there, albeit only HTC branded ones and over here I can only seem to see Vodaphone branded ones... so far.
Interesting that you think the diff between capacitive and resistive is negligible and as for the size, she's used to a tiny screen above a number pad, so anything will seem bigger
For the apps, she's not massively into that scene (yet) anyway so a few less is probably not a problem and any that she does want we can try via downloading to the Hero.
Hmm... seems like I need to take her out and let her have a play with each, ultimately it's her phone and her decision - so she should decide. But thanks so much all for your advice, most helpful! Cheers.