April 18th, 2012, 07:33 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Whistler BC and Los Angeles
Device(s): RAZR MAXX HD, Xoom (rooted, Baked Bean 8)
Thanked 864 Times in 484 Posts
Cleaned out my spam folder and I continue to be amazed at the bogus and illiterate idiots that create this crap. Some of the headers alone are enough to entertain me for a few minutes. Feel free to supply your own responses
“Profitable Business Proposal!”
Well, if it’s so profitable, why are you soliciting strangers on the ‘net?
“Dis-count Kindle Fires for as lo-w as $24.68. Le-arn How Now!”
Gimme a break. Refurbs and dysfunctionals? And you’d like to steal my identity too I suppose?
“Get quality clea-ning for your home from a prescreened maid”
Oh yeah, I want to hire a stranger to clean my house - out.
“Clean in se-conds without the mess”
I think I will let BB and Captain Ron fill in the blanks for this one.
“Su-per-size your tomatoes with Tomato Giant”
“You Are 10 Days Away From Spea-king a New Lan-guage”
I can give you some sign language right here and now.
“Incorp in Nevada - Get a Exempt Book”
How can I hire you if you can’t even compose a literate email header?
“Grow Bigger Tomatoes...Faster!”
What’s with all the tomatoes?
“Unbelievable Deals! $33.74 Samsung LED TV?”
True. Unbelievable. Trash folder.
“Make delicious pasta at home.”
Jeez, what do you peg me for that I can’t even boil water for 10 minutes open a jar of Paul Newman’s and sprinkle some parm on it?
“Give them the kitchenware that will last this Holiday”
Um, next holiday is what, Memorial Day, so plastic would work.
“No more ridiculous phone bills”
You forget, I’m on a family contract with Verizon with four data plans.
“Need cash quick? Get $1500 within an hour”
Vinny on the corner?
“Lasik special starting at $299 - Schedule your complimentary evaluation now”
Um, hmm, I WANT to have surgery on my eyes by an internet “doctor”
working out of the back of Safeway!
“How to find girls online to hook up with in real life?”
HaHaHaHaHaHa (unless you’re a certain very lucky guy on AF with a hot date next month in North Jersey)
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Last edited by IHateMyTreo; April 18th, 2012 at 07:35 PM.