Ironass, you are a goddamn hero! Not being the least bit sarcastic. Yours is the guide I used which both: 1) best explained terms I was (and still kind of am) unfamiliar with, and 2) best described the rooting process and post-rooting tips.
Thank you so very, very much, and thanks also to all the posters, senior members, mods, etc. for asking pertinent questions and elucidating the mysteries of everything Android. It's completely beyond me how some people can teach/discover for themselves so much about complex technology--from mobile phones to computers to cars to anything that's not a pulley or lever--and are always willing to help others out.
Again, many thanks!