oooh,that sucks. are you sure that being outside of vzws native range will prevent the OTA? your not actually acumulating roaming cahrges are you?
until you fid yourself near vzw towers it wouldnt hurt to keep checking the update status while in wifi. ive actually gotten my thunderbolt to download and apply updates over wifi,when it was not even an active phone
unfortunately,there is no way to update the phone that i know of,that wont wipe all her data