That link's download installed, then would force close when trying to open. Oh well, thanks for helping anyway.
I did a factory reset and all is good. The button on the top right of the apps list now says "play store" instead of "market", and all my google apps downloaded after signing in.
I am in love with this tablet all over again.
It is AWESOMESAUCE.
Hopefully if someone else has the same issue as I did, this thread will help them.