I have the Note and very happy with it. I'll admit that the Note II has some cool new features, but I won't be switching.
JB can already be installed on the Note (which has 1GB RAM); so 2GB RAM is not the minimum for JB. Reason why they might not push JB update is because of business decisions - ie. selling more Note IIs. GS3 will get JB, but probably delayed until after the Note II has been released and in the market for a bit. Just like when the Note got ICS, but after GS3 hit the shelves and being sold.
I have an Otterbox Commuter case and Glas.t on the Note. It still fits my front pockets without any issues. But I don't wear jeans and have loose fitting khakis/pants. I also have the S-Pen holder and it's simply much better feeling and more natural than using the S-Pen on its own.
I personally don't think it's huge. The size is a good compromise for a phablet. I also have small/medium hands, so I always have to handle it with 2 hands in most cases.
I'm pretty sure you won't be disappointed with either one.