Sounds like you need to look into Tasker
. It can set up a lot of these cycles you are talking about the dictate how long things ring and so on and so forth...
A way to customize the lock screen to what you want would be to use WidgetLocker
, it basically lets you put anything on the lockscreen.
Regarding unread counts i know natively Android does not do this, however, with the installation of Nova Prime Launcher
, paired with Tesla Unread
you can see the unread counts of SMS, Email, Missed Calls, etc...
Hope this helps