Welcome to the forums xer0615, glad to have you here
Very interesting story you have here regarding your device and such and past history!
I am actually pretty knowledgable when it comes to using Calls/Texts over Wifi. Might i suggest signing up for Google Voice
, it is absolutely free and gives you a Google Voice number which can be forwarded to your current number, but since you don't have service you wont have one...
Google Voice offers free texts over Wifi or 3G....not free calls though, that is why i would suggest to pair Google Voice with an app called GrooveIP
, it costs a couple bucks but will make and receive calls over Wifi.
Hope this helps and enjoy your device