Solved! Bad ops file...
My transform is now full of rootly goodness, thanks to all those above who did the actual work!
I had two versions of transformultra.ops, both purporting to be the right one. I had been using the first one, which I now see is 5MB and (of course) never worked.
I had downloaded the second ops file from another source and saw that it was only 170 bytes, thought the d/l failed. I finally tried it with that file today and everything worked like a charm! At least it wasn't me, there was no doubt I was following instructions!
HUGE thanks to the folks listed above who did the work! It was boring as hell trying 30 times with the wrong file but it was a good crash course in how to do it. Could do it in my sleep now.
Can't believe I waited this long to root my phone...