Hi LuluButtons and welcome to Android Forums!
I think you will find Android infinitely more customizable than anything else... the trick is learning HOW to customize your device, and that's why this site exists. We're here to help you master your S3.
When you open the facebook app and go to Settings, you will find a section called "Notifications" that you can turn on/off and set notifications for different events.
In the e-mail application, same thing: go to Settings and adjust your notifications. Set the notification ringtone to "silent" and you're done.
Hope this helps