Whelp, after solely using my Chromebook while on vacation the past few days, got home and fired up the laptop. Took FOREVER to boot, trying to load all this extra crap (which, obviously I could uninstall). Have a couple tabs open in Chrome and try to load a restaurant's website and it just freezes. Ctrl-Alt-Dlt does nothing.
Go back to the Chromebook, open up the same site and loads in seconds. I think this probably the only "pc" I'll be using from now on.