Originally Posted by Vinsanity93
Thanks for all the reassurance, I feel much better now. The only thing that made me uneasy was that I think I had my first ever episode of sleep paralysis last night...and it happened twice. Felt like I had a succubus trying to suffocate me and I couldn't breathe, the scariest part was not being able to move or "wake up." I knew it was a dream but it felt so real...
It may have been a memory, Vinsanity. Many dreams, the feeling portion especially, are very very early memories imprinted in the back of our minds as we sought to get on with our life. Some of the worst are that way ("worst") because they happened at a time when we were unable to speak or even think, such as during or just after being born. Those memories feel quite threatening during a dream, quite deadly as if they are happening right now. But no memory is happening now.
As others are saying here, get yourself to an impartial, non-relative, non-friend, such as a therapist and talk honestly (above all, be honest to the core). You'll heal. Once it comes to you that despite the bad things that were laid down early in your life: you survived, you made it, healing will begin.