Originally Posted by zuben el genub
I've had a dogcatcher try to bust me for a biting dog.. I don't own a dog, never have owned a dog - he wouldn't shut up, kept lecturing me about dog control and was ready to ticket me for non-cooperation. I finally got to ask him what address he was supposed to be checking on - it was 2 freaking streets over!
He was totally pissed as he thought he had his complaint solved.
Let him go for it.
Make a scene.
Do not say it is not your dog; be very polite.
Lead him on and aggravate him until he calls the police or writes you a ticket. Waste his time then politely tell him you do not have a doggy. Play a few dog barks in the background and tell him it is your girl friend's distemper acting up.
Ask him what he puts on those dog bites he routinely receives. I bet he gets bitten allot
Tomorrow, borrow a dog and play the same loud recorded doggy sounds. Let him knock on your door. Lead him on and let him rant about lying to him.
Politely tell him it is a friends dog.
Tell him he needs a search warrant. Toss in something about "reasonable searches" and the lights in the night sky being oddly ominous and frightful. Mention the third amendment to the Constitution and section 34(C) of the (insert your city name here) Municipal Code against being questioned by a postal worker without your rights being read to you. Drive him nuts.
Mention the laws against postal workers enacted in your city in 1932.
Go on and on about the Equal Dog Rights Amendment passed in 1908.
The next day, buy a cat. A wild one. Play loud angry cat sounds.
Learn to bark at the postman. Tell him you love him and you will pray for his soul.
Rage against the machine and power to the people.
Seriously, I hate people like your postman. I try to make unreasonable people more unreasonable if possible. Always be polite and never lie.
Here in Utah, they can refuse to deliver mail if they perceive a threat. Perhaps that is a federal law. Just do not piss off the UPS guy because he brings the Christmas cookies.