Originally Posted by A.Nonymous
I kind of question single women in their 30s and wonder why they are still on the market. Yes, the bargain looks like a good one, but I wonder if there's something hiding.
I hope you're prepared for them thinking the same about you.
Advice to a buddy if you'll have it - I think that you're maybe overthinking the whole gold digger thing.
I think most people are looking for companionship, not money.
People have a way of sorting each other out. I don't think that's gender specific, but I do think that women are more effective at it.
If it helps any, I have a very close friend much like you. Stayed that way until his late 40s. Met his wife of over a dozen years now on the job. (He couldn't stand retirement so he went back to work because he liked it.)
I asked him about his thoughts on her being a gold digger and how she got him past that. Answer was that he was so busy proving that he wasn't settling or slumming that it just didn't seem important any more.
My point - there's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with setting standards when you're on the couples market. But it's not a market you can plan out. Your house, car or furniture didn't choose you back when you considered them.
You've thought about what you don't want, kids and gold diggers. Think about what you want.
And think more about what you have to offer. If it's only money and security then the ones you'll attract may be exactly what you may not want. Then again, they may be exactly what you need for all I know. Which I don't.
But I do think it's important to think about what you bring to the table rather than worry about what they'll take.
I'll stop there, two cents worth if you want it.