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Old February 3rd, 2013, 08:55 PM   #36 (permalink)
Speed Daemon
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Originally Posted by MoodyBlues View Post
Yes--but it's taken a while to get here. I can't exactly say I've been in denial, but I've been in sort of a twilight zone-ish place between denial and acceptance...
That's understandable--you're in grief. Denial is one of the stages of grief, and none of us are immune to it. You're already getting past it. You can do me a favor by never beating yourself up over how you might have handled things differently.

I met with a hospice coordinator at the hospital and he did a great job of filling me in on all the things they can do...

...I still feel a bit like I'm signing Mom's death warrant, despite being reassured that acknowledging the need for additional help, as in hospice, doesn't equate to imminent death, but it feels that way. He even made it a point to say that they have about a 7-8% 'graduation from hospice' rate. So you never know.
The etymology of "hospice" doesn't have anything to do with death. I didn't know that when my mom had booked our lodging in a middle-eastern hospice. It freaked me out so much that I was ready to sleep in our rental car until she relented and got us rooms in a real hotel! It turned out that in that case, the hospice had no dying people, and was more like a hostel. I'll still take the hotel!

The hospice nurse left a little while ago. She was very nice--warm and upbeat--and I feel good about the decision to go ahead and start hospice care. It's still a tough mental transition to make, but it's time.
Good on you for being brave and doing what needs to be done! You're also being a good example for me to follow when my decision time comes. Thanks, and best wishes!
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