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Old February 20th, 2013, 05:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by A.Nonymous View Post
So I bit the bullet and went down to his office today to talk to him. He wouldn't listen. As soon as he started talking I knew he wasn't in any frame of mind to speak to speak to me. He then tried to justify what he's doing and what he's done and how he's right. I didn't argue with him. I just tried to talk about what he's doing to my mom. He didn't seem to care. I don't think he even sees the consequences of what he's doing. He is attributing all his problems to the economy and none to his behavior (the are all because of his behavior) and just refuses to own the fact that he is bringing all of this on himself. I think at this point he no longer thinks he is wrong and has now talked himself into thinking he is right.
Sounds like he's in major denial. And, frankly, he's giving me addict vibes.

I am no longer sure I can help him and maybe I never could. I left the meeting feeling shaken and helpless. Do I have any other options other than watching him just spiral down until he hits bottom and takes my mom with him?
I'm sorry it didn't go well and you're feeling shaken and helpless.

As for options, those depend on what the problem(s) are. If there's a true psychiatric problem, an involuntary psychiatric hold [for evaluation purposes] can be done; hopefully, that would lead to a diagnosis and a treatment plan. If it's a gambling problem, there's help available both in terms of therapists and also anonymous peer support. If it's an alcohol or drug problem, there's medical and psychiatric and anonymous peer support available. If it's a legal or potentially criminal issue, a consultation with a good lawyer is in order. But in ALL of these except the involuntary 72-hour psych hold, your dad MUST want the help. If he's in such denial that he doesn't recognize there is a problem, he'll have no reason to seek help. If he thinks he can handle it himself, he won't seek help. And if he seeks help but his heart really isn't in it because he doesn't truly believe he needs it, it won't work.

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