Gmail, messaging, google maps, calender and a few other procresses run at boot because google think you'll use them all the time. Ok messaging, yeah, but the rest i dont thing i do!
The OS actually handles the events, and launches the associated app when you click on the notification. So if an SMS came in, when you click it, it'll open it in your registered SMS app.
The app itself doesnt need to be running since it doesnt handle the events, only displays the data associated to it, like an SMS.
The only exception is gapps which is needed for autosync.
Alarmclock is another interesting one. It eats 2mb of ram doing pretty much not alot!
It needs to be run at boot to schedule your set alarms with the OS. Then it can be killed. When the scheduled alarm is triggered in the OS, it opens alarmclock app to handle it - and make the alarm noise etc.
So this can also be killed after boot if you like.
Calender works the same, it must be run once to schedule your calender events.
With both alarmclock and calender, if you open then to change an event, it will reschedule with the OS, and so you can kill it again if you like.
You can download 'autostarts' from the market to check whats autostarting and turn stuff off. Its not free i think.
Just remember leave alarmclock and calender autostart on and kill them after boot. alarmclock is actually a system task so is hidden in taskiller
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