Well Android is open, but the manufacturers of the phones have to do lots of custom work to make it work, and if you can flash any ROM you want it could cause lots of trouble if that ROM isn't properly built. Then VZW would get a ton of calls from customers who are having trouble and whatnot, if they all use custom ROMs then there is really no way your average VZW tech rep could find the true reason for whatever problem you might have.
However you can use aHome, OpenHome, DxTop, FreshFace, GDE and some other "home replacements" to allow you to change the icons and widgets, they will skin all of that and some other stuff but not the dialer/contacts or notification panel.
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