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Old June 10th, 2010, 05:09 PM   #37 (permalink)
wintersg3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brnr17 View Post
nice, take the trust factor out of it before they even get a chance to prove themselves.


winters,
I have not a doubt in my mind that your a good parent. Just to offer a little something though. im 24 so i'm still a "kid" myself in your eyes. But being that age offers the chance to see both sides. I'm young enough to remember what and why i did things and old enough to now understand why my parents did what they did. Although this tracking program will in fact give you the answer to whether he/she is lying or not on where they are or have been, it still won't solve the root cause. IMO all this will do is further break down any trust that may be left and cause yet more acting out. I'm sure your at your witts end and looking to do something and i applaud you for going to such lengths, because i've personally seen parents that havent come close, but i wouldn't rely on a tracking program to be the solution to get things back on the right track. I don't really have any advice on how to handle your situation, i'm just trying to let you know what you might expect to come of using this. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor and hope things work out for the best for you and your family.
No one said this was a solution to anything. It is a tool no more no less.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alecks2217 View Post
I am not familiar with these types of apps. But it did cross my mind that anything that is constantly running in the background tracking a phone is going to destroy his battery life... and you can't track a phone that's not on. Just something to keep in mind.
I will have to take my chances with that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by grainysand View Post
How smart is this kid, anyway? If he is even a bit, he can root and uninstall anything you put on there or just wipe the whole phone and flash a custom ROM, the end.
He is not that technical minded. I wouldn't allow him to root it anyway, not til he can buy his own.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jradicle11 View Post
You're going to have to have access to his phone anyways to install it, right? How would they not know about it? I know my parents wouldn't be able to access my phone without my permission, being that I have a passcode on it. No, I have nothing to hide. The passcode is more for if I happen to lose my phone or it gets stolen. I'd rather not have people screwing with it.

Access won't be a problem.

And your son sounds very similar to my brother. It seemed like nothing my parents would do worked. Eventually, it came down to sink or swim. Things finally began to change after he ended up tripping on a drug we have yet to find out about sitting in the middle of a highway with his car parked on the shoulder. He ended up with a felony but managed to get it dropped after hours of community service. The cop was nice and didn't give him resisting arrest.

Anyways, best of luck.

I guess I'd like to point out that I am 17 as well. If that makes my opinion have less merit, that's for you to decide. I don't think it should.
Your opinion has value, but when you ask for trust after having betrayed that trust many times over, there are strings. Love is unconditional, but trust is not. Especially when you are of an age where you are wanting to drive your parents cars, have them pay for luxuries like a cell phone etc...

It's not so much about age as it is about being accountable for your actions. I understand the ethical problems some have with this type of thing, but as I see it my only other choices are to lock him up or let him do whatever he wants. Take into consideration that without my intervention he would already be locked in a state facility until he is 18 being raised at state expense. I put conditions on all the privileges that all of my kids get. They are to be earned, continuously, not just given blindly. This is the way the world works. If you want to keep your freedom you need to obey the law, or rules of our society. You break them and those that enforce those laws can put you under surveillance, or lock you away. If I had the resources to do it I'd put an ankle bracelet on him. Is this extreme? Definitely, but that's where things stand. Right now the only way to get him to behave is to create an environment where he can not get away with misbehaving. Not sure if I said before but he is ADHD, ODD, and has other issues to overcome as well. This is not an average situation. He is very much a creature of habit, to the point that if I can get him to create good habits they should carry on through his adult life. Giving him a chance at a productive and enjoyable life.
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