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Old October 17th, 2011, 12:24 PM   #101 (permalink)
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his 10 inch long toenails he had been growing for 7 years in order to gain some kind of recognition and acceptance from his father who happened to own the guiness world record for longest nipple hair. as the large man came to a crashing halt his cat jumped atop his balding head, swiped away the comb-over and sprayed him with its explosive excretion! satisfied, the cat hopped off and walked away leaving the large man, who's name is Cecil, pondering.....

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Old October 17th, 2011, 07:21 PM   #102 (permalink)
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"maybe none of this would have ever happened, if I'd only followed my childhood dream of becoming a bathroom attendant in a restaurant"... so Cecil then...
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Old October 17th, 2011, 09:13 PM   #103 (permalink)
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took off running, until he was at the nearest restaurant. He burst into the restaurant and runs to the bathroom then starts welcoming people, before he realizes his is in...
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Old October 18th, 2011, 12:03 AM   #104 (permalink)
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Debt.he need to pay off loan.so he applys for the subatomic hadron collider experiment as a research engineer with his phd in meson muons interactions degree.however...
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Old October 18th, 2011, 08:00 AM   #105 (permalink)
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When he starts the job he realized he was way over qualified to be the first person ejected from the LHC, of course he realized this too late as he was approaching the speed of light and suddenly...
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Old October 18th, 2011, 09:55 AM   #106 (permalink)
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the dried cat poo on his head began to merge molecular level with his body, morphing him into part man part cat poo. when the experiment was over, the researchers were shocked to find....
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Old October 18th, 2011, 01:53 PM   #107 (permalink)
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that the metamorphosis also gave him incredible strength, which Cecil began using destructively. The researches soon learned that the only way to combat him was to fire kitty-litter cannonballs at him. And it worked, until...
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Old October 18th, 2011, 09:16 PM   #108 (permalink)
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he realized that he could eat the cannonballs and it would not affect him so after a few hours of this Cecil weighed 900 lbs and decided it was time to...
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Old October 18th, 2011, 09:24 PM   #109 (permalink)
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ask for a promotion. The researchers gave him a promotion and kicked him out of the LHC.Now cecil............
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Old October 18th, 2011, 09:24 PM   #110 (permalink)
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decided to enter the world of competitive sumo wrestling. Soon he begins...
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Old October 18th, 2011, 09:58 PM   #111 (permalink)
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building skynet . For some strange reasons he has an urge to ...........
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Old October 18th, 2011, 10:54 PM   #112 (permalink)
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use python. Probably because of his ....
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Old October 18th, 2011, 11:41 PM   #113 (permalink)
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...massivie collection of python sized gopher snakes, derived from his innovative use of amonia, menthos, and a secret substance only know to...
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Old October 19th, 2011, 08:18 AM   #114 (permalink)
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wizards and witches. but since he failed wizard school he does not know this secret ingredient so he substituted another ingredient and the result was....
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Old October 19th, 2011, 08:34 AM   #115 (permalink)
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the worlds first fully grown gopher sized python snake. He decided it was good enough and began to...
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Old October 19th, 2011, 08:36 AM   #116 (permalink)
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summon great demon of elder shadow .Meanwhile Julia still stuck in quicksand ........
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Old October 19th, 2011, 08:40 AM   #117 (permalink)
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realized the quicksand was only ankle deep and unstuck herself. After she obtained her freedom once again she noticed a disruption within the world thanks to her were-zom-pire abilities that had to do with very small constrictors so she...
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Old October 19th, 2011, 09:05 AM   #118 (permalink)
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Removed the constrictors . Julia now went ahead to stop Forces of Evil .Meanwhile Lozengezo ,Barney the werewolf and the noname chupacabra are involved in high stakes poker game .......
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Old October 19th, 2011, 09:28 AM   #119 (permalink)
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Both Barney and noname were all in, Lozengezo thought he had it one but...
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Old October 21st, 2011, 09:07 AM   #120 (permalink)
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instead he had it won! but since he had that grammatical error he lost and the penalty for losing this high stakes poker game was his head. so the others held him down and chopped off his head and put it on a stake outside to let others know there was now a seat available. while they waited for a new player to step in they....
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Old October 22nd, 2011, 03:10 PM   #121 (permalink)
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went down to Old man Johnson's Korner Market, busted open the dusty old pickle jar and took out the head of ANITA THE BEESTIE that had been soaking for years! .. Anyways, they sewed it onto Lozengezo's body! When he came to, and looked into the mirror he said....



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Old October 22nd, 2011, 04:20 PM   #122 (permalink)
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SIDE POST: Since Im new to the story, i had to play catchup. This is a compilation (got as far as message #100! NICE story so far! Cant wait to contribute to the continuing episodes):




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Old October 23rd, 2011, 07:38 AM   #123 (permalink)
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Barney makes a crack "Hey Lozengezo,have you lost your mind "
Lozengezo "Shut up you moron .Damn chilly out here "
noname "Cecil approaches ......"
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Old October 23rd, 2011, 09:10 AM   #124 (permalink)
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..and said Shooot, are you nuts Barney!!!?! Giiiirl,Lozengezo didnt loose just his mind! he lost his whole dayam HEAD!..Noname Cecil proceeded to scoop up the "after surgury" from the floor and fed its content to Anita the Beast's head attached to Lozengezo's body... all of a sudden Lozengezo began to...



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Old October 23rd, 2011, 11:43 AM   #125 (permalink)
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shouts "It's the end ,it's the end repentttttt"

Cecil "Well ,well ,well....................."
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Old October 23rd, 2011, 12:05 PM   #126 (permalink)
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Then!..in comes

A R I S T I Z Z L E The Great!!! Riding in on the back of golden camels ... the king said: "IT aint Over till i SAY "So let it be written...." Since i aint said it yet, then, it aint over till the PHAT LADY sangs!!!
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Old October 24th, 2011, 09:47 AM   #127 (permalink)
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and the aretha franklin stepped out from behind a camel and began to sing "Respect" and all the mummies rose from the tombs and began...
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Old October 24th, 2011, 10:13 AM   #128 (permalink)
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..to do the Harlem Shuffle! Then when she broke out with her version of "THRILLER", the mummy flash-mob started to....


ARETHA...you cracked me up

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Old October 26th, 2011, 12:43 AM   #129 (permalink)
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decided they were zombies and started to chase Aretha. So she...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 05:06 AM   #130 (permalink)
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.. raaaaan as fast as her feets could carry her! But to No avail.. the zombies caught up and cornered Aretha down at the abandoned Motown Office Bldg. They busted their way in through the glass windows and suddenly the Zombi-Flashmob donned aprons , bibs, forks and knives. slowwwly edging toward Aretha , they chanted "allll weeeee wanna DOOOOO is eeet 'cho braynes!!! (we're not unreasonable, we're not gonna eat'cher thighs!)".....

re: Your Brains, featuring the cast of The Office - YouTube
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:54 AM   #131 (permalink)
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Aretha looked around scared when she saw zombie Michael Jackson which said...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 09:15 AM   #132 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeahha View Post
Aretha looked around scared when she saw zombie Michael Jackson which said...
...Heeeeeee! heee! Somebidy please pass me a plate! I want a brest'es and umm, a piece of the leg, thank you?...TITO,pease hand me a napkin...took one bite and screamed - LAWWWD! This is good!...at that time Zombi- Michael took another bite and..

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Old October 26th, 2011, 07:53 PM   #133 (permalink)
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Realized that he was eating a 8 year old boy not Aretha. So he decided to...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:00 PM   #134 (permalink)
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.....ask for a doggie bag and take the rest of HIS dinn-dinn home so he can....
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:16 PM   #135 (permalink)
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enjoy the child...hood he never had, when suddenly...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:18 PM   #136 (permalink)
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Santa Clause appeared out of thin airz with a grenade launcher and then said...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:20 PM   #137 (permalink)
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Ho Ho No Mr Jackson. That child is mine to...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:25 PM   #138 (permalink)
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Dangle him in front of your "nose" like a carrit until I lure you into...





"...I said CARRIT! NOT Carrot Top! ! !..."
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:40 PM   #139 (permalink)
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my sleigh, in order to finally...
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Old October 26th, 2011, 09:08 PM   #140 (permalink)
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....get you back to the Norf-Pole and strap you down on the surgery table in my bastement (basement)
so I can....
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Old October 26th, 2011, 09:33 PM   #141 (permalink)
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give that nose one more try, so what do you say...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 03:50 AM   #142 (permalink)
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Suddenly Zombie-MJ went "ape-schick on Satan oops! I mean, Santa ! ....Then Zombie-MJ took out his "zombie-monkey, Bubbas" who opened up the biggest can of whoopayss and poured it up one side and down the other! When the dust settled in Santa's laboratory, there was nothing but...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 04:17 AM   #143 (permalink)
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GREAT chaos when all of a sudden a gang of crazy, psychotic and crack infested ninjas appeared from a grey smoke bomb. After they beat the crap outta old Saint Nick and Whacko Jacko they demanded a randsom that 400 gazzilion dollars were to be paid into the great Gringo's Bank account or else the...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 05:42 AM   #144 (permalink)
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Flying Monkies shall monkeynap the Zombi-Monkey "Bubbas" and feed him to Victoria Secret who secretly is the head Maddamme of the crazed crackhead ninjas... But then, the zombies came and...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 09:06 AM   #145 (permalink)
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unveiled their zombie strap ons! but alas, they could not use them on anyone because everyone can out run a zombie...everyone that is except for rico android, who fell and broke his femur. all the zombies lined up to get a piece of this fresh meat, pun intended, and poor old rico was...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 09:23 AM   #146 (permalink)
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Super high from the crack contact buzz, he ripped off his leg and started to beat the zombies with it until...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 10:10 AM   #147 (permalink)
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(HAAAAHAHAA yawlll nuts)

...until a piece of his own meat fell into his mouth and rico android sai.... Hmmm taste like chikken!.. Then front and center steps the King of the zombies...looks like he was zombiefied from a highjakker incident... Zombie-Highjakker spoke out and said...

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Old October 27th, 2011, 10:19 AM   #148 (permalink)
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"you're despicable", and then he takes out a guitar and starts to ...
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Old October 27th, 2011, 10:26 AM   #149 (permalink)
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Beat himself with it till he was unconscious...then all the other zombies scooped zombi-hijakker up, put him in a pot, added carrots and potatoes and...


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Last edited by Rico ANDROID; October 27th, 2011 at 10:31 AM.
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Old October 27th, 2011, 10:31 AM   #150 (permalink)
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Then remembered zombies aren't cannibals so they left zombie hijakker to boil and decided to go on the hunt for a mod to eat until they found...
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