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Old July 27th, 2011, 04:12 PM   #51 (permalink)
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it's just your brains oozing out, don't worry about it

my feet stink

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Old July 31st, 2011, 12:02 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Build a fire and stick em in it till you smell burning flesh.

My back hurts
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Old August 10th, 2011, 01:03 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Try sliding down five flights of stairs face-up. Helps me and I recommend it to everyone!

There is a large squirrel gnawing on my face
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Old September 8th, 2011, 07:55 AM   #54 (permalink)
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That's what you get for sticking your face in the peanut butter jar. I suggest therapy.

I have liver spots.
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Old September 8th, 2011, 11:38 AM   #55 (permalink)
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Drink through it

My nose itches
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Old September 8th, 2011, 10:24 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Try snorting some crushed glass. That should ease your itching woes.

I can't see my back
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Old September 8th, 2011, 11:03 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Remove an eye.

Ear pressure.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 02:32 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Jab an ice pick in your ear canal. Just be careful not to go into your brain.

I have the munchies.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 03:56 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Stop smoking pot and move to cocaine lol your appetite will vanish.

My feet are wet
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Old September 9th, 2011, 03:57 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Stop peeing on your feet

I'm thirsty
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Old September 9th, 2011, 06:20 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Beer!!!!

I stopped peeing on my feet but they're still wet
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Old September 9th, 2011, 07:28 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Take your feet out of the toilet.

I get headaches when I forget to drink.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 08:36 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Go to the e.r. and ask them to hook up an intravenous alcohol drip
Lol

Feet are out of the toilet, I haven't peed on them for at least ten minutes, and THEYRE STILL WET!!
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Old September 9th, 2011, 09:51 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Dry them off.

My urine is a funky color.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 10:01 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Close your eyes after pissing.

Arm is itchy.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 10:46 PM   #66 (permalink)
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Apply itching cream to your arm.

My butt hurts
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Old September 10th, 2011, 12:11 AM   #67 (permalink)
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That is not a storage space. Try a closet or a box

I think my job is gonna cause me an aneurism
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Old September 10th, 2011, 12:17 AM   #68 (permalink)
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Punch your boss. Aneurism defeated with the boss.

Case of curiosity.
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Old September 10th, 2011, 12:34 AM   #69 (permalink)
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Well if you don't like cats then I'd suggest getting one. (Bad attempt at a joke)

I can't stop leeching my neighbors wifi lol
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Old September 10th, 2011, 12:37 AM   #70 (permalink)
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Invite yourself over. Then they'd be obligated to offer it to you.


Weak memory, forgot to post my illness (case proven )
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Old September 10th, 2011, 08:26 AM   #71 (permalink)
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Try compulsively buying anything you see in late night TV advertising. In a week you should have enough worthless stuff to not need memory.

I can't stop licking fan blades
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Old September 12th, 2011, 02:55 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Treatment depends on whether they are android fans or apple fans. Further information is necessary.

I'm stuck in the past.
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Old September 12th, 2011, 09:40 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Take a good dose of speed

Got my IV liquor drip, now I can't drive
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Old September 12th, 2011, 11:28 PM   #74 (permalink)
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Buy an airplane. Flying's just like in the video games right?

I jammed a USB drive into my ear canal
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Old September 18th, 2012, 10:50 AM   #75 (permalink)
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Blah
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Old October 16th, 2012, 03:29 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Collect the wax to make candles.

My tongue is furry
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Old October 25th, 2012, 05:16 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Shave it.

I can't stop farting.
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Old October 28th, 2012, 03:52 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Stop visiting Taco Bell.

I have constant phone envy...
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Old May 2nd, 2013, 09:30 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Become a klepto

My DNA has been mutated with gerbil DNA!
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Old May 2nd, 2013, 11:06 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Don't be frustrated for running in circles

I have a wart on my finger.
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Old May 2nd, 2013, 11:22 PM   #81 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olbriar View Post
Don't be frustrated for running in circles

I have a wart on my finger.
[Hey buddy Mod status now I see, now I get to bug the crap out of YOU]

Go kiss the toad that peed on your finger, your new prince charming will remove it for you

I've got an ankle biter
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Old May 3rd, 2013, 02:37 AM   #82 (permalink)
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Send it back to where it came from.


I'm broke.
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Old May 3rd, 2013, 09:52 PM   #83 (permalink)
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Here's some super glue and duct tape, that should hold you together for a while.


I spontaneously have to make a spanking maneuver with my hand and yell YEEHAW! every ten minutes.
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Old May 3rd, 2013, 10:19 PM   #84 (permalink)
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Change your name to YEAHHA


I can't get my head out of the chimney.
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Old May 4th, 2013, 08:31 AM   #85 (permalink)
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Make candles.

my toes are curling up
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Old May 4th, 2013, 09:59 AM   #86 (permalink)
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Tell that girl to stop doing what she's doing.


I wheeze.
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Old May 4th, 2013, 10:06 AM   #87 (permalink)
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A good shot of albuterol might do you good.

I am bored waiting in a line
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Old May 4th, 2013, 10:11 AM   #88 (permalink)
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Keep playing here.


Money burns a hole in my pocket.
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Old May 12th, 2013, 12:53 AM   #89 (permalink)
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Wear undies made of asbestos

I can't get enough bbq
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Old May 12th, 2013, 12:54 AM   #90 (permalink)
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Cook more bbq.


I'm a chocaholic.
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