Cougars and Cubs

[harukasan73]

Heres a question for you guys and gals.

At what age difference would you consider a woman being a cougar?
and
Why do you suppose it is more accepted to have an older man/younger woman relationship?


I will provide my thoughts later. Please remember this is a matter of personal preference, so please kindly respect everyones opinions, oaky doky?

~Haru

 

[Thefoodman52]

35-40 and up.

I'm not sure exactly on why people find it more acceptable... experience, maybe? That or benefits... I mean, you're probably going to out-live your partner if you marry.

 

[saps]

Heres a question for you guys and gals.

At what age difference would you consider a woman being a cougar?
and
Why do you suppose it is more accepted to have an older man/younger woman relationship?


I will provide my thoughts later. Please remember this is a matter of personal preference, so please kindly respect everyones opinions, oaky doky?

~Haru

Its age relative. If the woman is under 50 its 10 years; that is, she is more than 10 years older than him... If she's over 50 then I'd have to say 15 years....unless she's over 60 than it would be 20. I mean if Betty White got together with Morgan Freeman I would not call her a cougar. If she got with George Clooney, cougar.

Its more accepted for old man/younger woman because that type of relationship has existed in almost every culture on this planet for thousands of years. The cougar relationship is much less common. Its like anything in life. The first time you see something new/different/counter-cultural its like wow thats weird. After the 100th time you're de-sensitized.

 

[avacomputers]

My kind of thread.

Well my fiance is definitely a cougar. She is 16 years my senior. I have always been attracted to older women and she have always been attracted to younger men. In fact she has never been with a man her age or older. I don't know why it is more aceptable the other way around. I enjoy the company of older women due to the fact that most of them already have their life figured out.

 

[gallandof]

(my reasons include a lot of generalizations/stereotypes)

I personally feel that its somewhat related to people wanting what they cant have. On average I'd assume most women in their late 30's,40's early 50's, are married and have a family. This in itself draws attraction and attention. Now regardless if they are married or not, that whole forbidden factor has already set in. I think thats why cougars are attractable to younger men.

As for a younger women and a older man, I feel that has to do with the fact that as men age they tend to get better looking, most men look best around middle aged (assuming theyve taken care of themselves)

Then theres the obvious money attraction, as a 20yr old boy/man the thought of being in a relationship with a potentially succesful women has a ton of materrial attraction.

Finally I think older people are attractyed to younger people just due to the relative energy/carefreeness. this can be seen through all age groups 40year old and a 20 year old. or a 22 year old playing with a toddler. you have fun with them because they are doing things that you can only dream of still doing for the most part.

 

[Member138406]

35+

 

[NightAngel79]

What you starting haru?

 

[n0ct3m]

I would say late 30's to 40's. As for the whole it being acceptable to have an older man/younger woman relationship...Perhaps it stems back to the olden days when it was socially acceptable for older guys to be married off to females of a young age.

 

[harukasan73]

Well Im thinking am 18+ year age difference would be too much... I mean the guy could be the same age as your kid then, lol

Personally I like younger men... not because of youth or whatever, they just freaking turn me on. mmmm yum yum.

I guess it is more acceptable for an older man/younger woman relationship because of your past when families would marry off young daughters to older men to help the families.

For me though... I am 36.... a guy younger than 25 is too young... I would feel like I am treading on an area I shouldnt then.... I still sing a song to creep out my high school sons though.. "High school boys, high school boys, 1, 2, 3, just for me, High school boys how delicious they can be... " lmao! I know its wrong on so many levels, but I only do it to freak the hell out of them, lol

 

[NightAngel79]

sorry... carry on

 

[TozyJay]

Well I'm 21 - my last girlfriend was 28 and I was way more mature than she was. Felt like I was dating somebody who was younger than me, rather than 7 years my senior. This whole age thing is relative. I'd like to think I could hold my one with any lady who happens to be a bit older than me.

 

[byteware]

Here are my thoughts.

They cub must be under 40. And there must be a 15 year difference.

And I feel there is a different perception due to evolution.

Younger women are more fertile. It would have been natural for older men to seek younger more fertile women. It would have been unnatural for younger men to go after older women as they would have been less fertile.

Those relationships would have been looked down on.

I think that perception was codified socially as men became the "citizens" and women were just property of men. Powerful older men gathered younger wives to them. Older women were left to the less powerful older men. Older women being with younger men would have been nearly unheard of.

That's my personal opinion on the matter.

 

[dan330]

Here are my thoughts.

They cub must be under 40. And there must be a 15 year difference.

And I feel there is a different perception due to evolution.

Younger women are more fertile. It would have been natural for older men to seek younger more fertile women. It would have been unnatural for younger men to go after older women as they would have been less fertile.

Those relationships would have been looked down on.

I think that perception was codified socially as men became the "citizens" and women were just property of men. Powerful older men gathered younger wives to them. Older women were left to the less powerful older men. Older women being with younger men would have been nearly unheard of.

That's my personal opinion on the matter.

agreed..to your points.
to add.. this is all in general and my guess.

men as they became of age, they where sent out into to the world to find their fortune and make a living. They where to gather and hunt. This may take time for them to reach a point in thier life that they want or ready to settle down. around 30 yrs old give or take.

women where normally married off as soon as they are within age. to create good alliance for the family or to marry well for money, to gain status, or to get them out of the house. They are never sent out into the world to make thier own way alone! This would be around under 20 yrs old.

so this would lead to older men with younger women.


i am naturally attracted to younger women. There have been a few times i was attracted to older women, but that was in my college years.

 

[harukasan73]

36?? mmm yum yum
5 years aint too much is it? *wink, *wink

Not at all *wink wink nudge nudge*



Also, there must be something wrong with me (like i am part guy or something, wait, now hear me out before you laugh your arse off)... I understand how in the past it was the norm for a man to "own" his young wife.... but if I was living back then I dont think I would have survived happily... I prefer being the dominant one in a relationship, and perhaps that is why I like them younger? Maybe? So I wouldnt mind "owning" a man or two. lol Just a thought.

I say I may be part guy because I am not into all that girly crap, I mean I have very strong emotions, but growing up, I only hung out with guys, i could relate to them better. I played with lego's, hotwheels, and transformers... and barbies too... My barbies really liked getting it on with my transformers, lol... and theres more, but we arent talking about me and my strange ways. lol

 

[NightAngel79]

Not at all *wink wink nudge nudge*

Really....


My barbies really liked getting it on with my transformers, lol... and theres more, but we arent talking about me and my strange ways. lol[/QUOTE]
We're not?

 

[harukasan73]

Well maybe a little, lol I had some strange habits as a child.

 

[dan330]

Well maybe a little, lol I had some strange habits as a child.

curiosity is killing my cat!

 

[harukasan73]

Not only was I a tomboy (stunts, stunts with my bike, paintball, street racing), and a geek (dungeons and dragons, video games)... I was also very much into...... being a dirty girl. Oh it started off innocently enough... Barbie and Ken break up, because she wanted more than one guy... Ken went off with Barbies little sister, and you know Barbie had her transformers, Go bots, and Gi Joe... then I discovered the playboy channel at some point, and found my dads dirty magazines, and I started learning some things.... So I went on a quest... an experiment you might say... at the age of 13 I lost my virginity to a guy now and forever dubbed "Eddie No D*ck"... I was disapointed... I couldnt believe how much this forbidden thing sucked.... so I went to my best friend Jeni... I says "Jeni.... this cant be right... I mean I did what they show you on TV, I did it like they do in the books... you gotta try this guy out and tell me what you think...." She does, and yep its confirmed... he had no d*ck. So Jeni and I went on a further scientific experiment... to find out if it always sucks to have sex, or if it does get better eventually. We found out some interesting things... I was a bad bad girl. Once I got my drivers license, it was street racing, guys, and drinking... Jeni and I would compare notes, trade off boyfriends, and party all the time. In our quest Jeni ended up with my ex... they are still together. I continued trying to find love.. but not through sex, because over time, I learned guys are only there to use you... and so for awhile there I turned it around and used them...(My great grandmother had called me up at the age of 16, and talked to me about how to give a guy a proper blow job, she learned it from her sister whom used to run a brothel for the mafia... this was ages ago)... I had a preference too... younger virgins.. oh yes, the virgins, very eager to please, they would do anything you told them to do... you may think I am making this stuff up, but I am not, really I had no love at home, I hated my life, and I just didnt give a damn. I finally got knocked up at the age of 18.... had my first kid, and 15 months later, was pregnant with a 15 month old, and single. That was about the time I decided... well maybe sex sucks. and so do men... so I have had some ups and downs, mostly downs, but you know.... nowadays, I have to really have a connection with someone before I will take that next step. I am married now, and we have had many almost divorces... we are pretty much together for the kids... we kinda get along, things are strained, but we dont fight much anymore, its just like we are kind of existing... It isnt the deep down connection I have always wanted... never found that... had a few loves in my life, but not any true happiness. So there you are... a very brief history on the Sexuality of haru.... there are other things between all that... death, heartache, suicide attempts,beatings, rapes.... but those are unimportant right now. So from Barbie does Dallas, to Haru doesnt do much, lol

 

[dan330]

wow..

maybe a head shrink might help you find meaning..
it might be the barrier to your emotional blockage to find real love and connection that you seek.

 

[harukasan73]

Emotional blockage, lol Dan I have a lot of emotional unblockage... its all good, really.. life lessons, karma and all that rot... shoot, Im always going on around here and giving people advice... from my life experience mostly, lol Scared ya, eh? sorry bout that, I can be very open in a forum... but not face to face. its odd I know.

 

[gallandof]

Wel lglad to see your open about everything. I personally find that thats the way to go in order to deal with it. its already happened that cant be changed so why not be open with it keeping it bottled up sure isnt going to help.

 

[harukasan73]

Wel lglad to see your open about everything. I personally find that thats the way to go in order to deal with it. its already happened that cant be changed so why not be open with it keeping it bottled up sure isnt going to help.

Exactly, and thats why, when my teens kids yell at me and say I dont know what its like to be them, I always tell them I can relate more than they know.... sometimes I have to tell them an edited version of my past, but I always feel that once I can talk about it, its the first step to healing from it.. or some nonsense.

I still like younger guys though, lol

 

[gallandof]

Exactly, and thats why, when my teens kids yell at me and say I dont know what its like to be them, I always tell them I can relate more than they know.... sometimes I have to tell them an edited version of my past, but I always feel that once I can talk about it, its the first step to healing from it.. or some nonsense.

I still like younger guys though, lol

ill trade you can be my mom and your kids can have mine.

 

[Steven58]

When we were married, my wife was 28 and I was 20. When we met, I was 18 and she was going on 27. Cougar Smoogar. The bottom line is that we're a family. When the children come onto the scene and responsibilities kick in, we're the same as any other married couple.

Hmm...that came off with a harsher tone than I intended. No harshness intended.

 

[harukasan73]

Your mom not very understanding? Well I always say.... you can be who you want, love who you want, do what you want career wise, but dont you get knocked up or get someone knocked up, you should join the military or go to college, be respectful, donate to those less fortunate, and always, always try to do the right thing, if you make a mistake, learn from it!