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Old June 15th, 2014, 08:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Samsung, I think we should see other people......

My dearest S4:

We have been together since Memorial day weekend of 2013. You were fresh and new. I was impressed at your speed and beautiful display. I was so sure I've found the one and could finally settle down. The other former loves seemed distant. Just the fact you were willing and able to keep your exact battery percentage visible to me always was such a comfort.

However, I didn't even know it yet but I was walking into a trap. Since day one you haven't been honest with me. I thought you would correctly allow headphones to plug into you but had me under such a spell that I didn't know until after your 14 day return period that you never really did. You wouldn't snap anything in and so I couldn't listen to anything on you through an external speaker.

I had you replaced soon after and things were fine until you pulled the same stunt on me. I was appalled that you would have the nerve to fail me twice in the same way. Once again your new self was free from issues.

I rested from my worries for about 6 months but then you spit in my face. I trusted you with something very dear to me and you betrayed me. My 32 GB class 10 SD card was only about 5 months old. However in disgust at me you decided that you randomly weren't gonna read it! You told me "SD card unexpectedly removed", yet I never even tried to do such a thing to you. How could you accuse me of such a terrible crime? I took out my card, backed it up to my laptop, reformatted it, and put it back in. You still did the same thing and I was heartbroken. Finally in desperation, I wiped you clean and started over.

I thought, maybe if you were fresh and new again as from the factory that you would stop treating me like I'm abusing you. I've never dropped you, gotten you wet, ripped your charging cable out, or treated you anything less than the most important and closest piece of electronics I have.

Finally I had to get you switched out again and then you finally stopped ruining my life by not letting me access what was stored in my card. This was all well for almost another 6 months or so.

Then one day you decided to just shut down. You wouldn't respond to me or to your home button and so I had to hold down your power button to wake you up again from your fainting. A few more times you shut down on me refusing to function like some narcoleptic family member on the couch.

Once again I wiped you clean and gave you a factory complete remodel. I was sad when you didn't flinch but went back to your days of passing out.

So I got you replaced for the 4th time, tying my old record with my ex, RAZR Maxx. I have been slowly growing stronger and less susceptible to your disappointments though. I no longer feel worried or nervous when I see how you aren't clearly able or willing to live with me.

The other day when I saw you decided to drain your battery 12% per hour because of "app usage - media" I was so mad. What have I done to deserve this? I once again factory reset you and started over. I've gotten so used to this that it barely takes me an hour to bring you back to 100% of your normal self. However you did the same thing to me this morning! Finally I figured out I can go into your settings -storage -unmount SD card and then take the card out. I disconnected your power source and then remounted it. I rebooted you and you have acted nice today.

However, for all I know you have just been waiting for the most inconvenient time to do something else that will make it hard to enjoy you. I'll have you know that if I could afford a newer electronic love at full retail price and keep my unlimited data, you would have been gone a while ago. Yes I'm ready to move on. I have only 5 days left on my contract. I am nearly willing to lose unlimited data to the edge program just to sell you. With a fresh factory reset and no SD or Sim card, you won't remember me. You'll bring me enough money to pay a few monthly payments.

So let this be a warning to you. Unless you want me to sell you to someone else who may not take so good care of you, I suggest you shape up. I'm not afraid to give you up. You have worked well most times but I need dependability. That seems to be something you're unable to provide.



The End




Isn't anthropomorphism fun?

:-P

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Old June 16th, 2014, 09:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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A love story between human and computer? The movie her won some awards, this plot sounds much better. When human breaks up with computer? Maybe you two should see other devices.

I see moto x+1 checking you out :-P
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Old June 16th, 2014, 09:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Why am I picturing Billy Bob Thornton as the protagonist and the device is played by Sandra Bullock?

Quote:
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...refusing to function like some narcoleptic family member on the couch.
I'd like that as a needlepoint sampler for my powder room, please.
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Old June 16th, 2014, 10:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm actually considering the M8 because I had good luck with my last HTC just crappy battery life. The front speakers and better signal would be great too. I just wish they had the Droid DNA camera on it.
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Old June 17th, 2014, 09:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm actually considering the M8 because I had good luck with my last HTC just crappy battery life. The front speakers and better signal would be great too. I just wish they had the Droid DNA camera on it.
if I were to get a new phone that's not a GSM Moto X+1 I would get the Note 4.

its the love I have for my current note tablet that would kick me to it. its just always been there for me.
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Old June 17th, 2014, 10:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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if I were to get a new phone that's not a GSM Moto X+1 I would get the Note 4.

its the love I have for my current note tablet that would kick me to it. its just always been there for me.
I do think the note series is better than the S series. However I am not sure about a phablet. I wanna get a Nexus 7 at some point so both makes no sense. I just don't think Samsung builds things tough enough to withstand my effect on electronics.

Moto X is just to small. I want the quality of the M8 in the body of my S4 I suppose. I am so tired of issues.
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Old June 17th, 2014, 11:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I do think the note series is better than the S series. However I am not sure about a phablet. I wanna get a Nexus 7 at some point so both makes no sense. I just don't think Samsung builds things tough enough to withstand my effect on electronics.

Moto X is just to small. I want the quality of the M8 in the body of my S4 I suppose. I am so tired of issues.
phablets are...

if I can't get that than a Nokia I'm switching to. yes, Windows phone.

does Motorola make windows phones? I think they should try at least one. but now that Microsoft owns Nokia I don't see a point in OEMS even trying.
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Old June 17th, 2014, 01:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
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phablets are...

if I can't get that than a Nokia I'm switching to. yes, Windows phone.

does Motorola make windows phones? I think they should try at least one. but now that Microsoft owns Nokia I don't see a point in OEMS even trying.

I've liked the Motorola phones I've owned. However I had to replace my RAZR Maxx 4 times in 11 months. My OG Motorola Droid was solid and only needed one replacement in a year and a half.

I despise Windows 8 so I wouldn't want a phone like it. To each his/her own. I support people's freedom to pick their device even if it's crapple
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Old June 17th, 2014, 01:31 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I've liked the Motorola phones I've owned. However I had to replace my RAZR Maxx 4 times in 11 months. My OG Motorola Droid was solid and only needed one replacement in a year and a half.

I despise Windows 8 so I wouldn't want a phone like it. To each his/her own. I support people's freedom to pick their device even if it's crapple
apples and blackberry's and oranges and bananas and cherries
...

what ate we talking about? oh phones.

a phone is a phone. I don't care what device anyone uses. if their online and can communicate that's all that matters.
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Old June 17th, 2014, 03:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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apples and blackberry's and oranges and bananas and cherries
...

what ate we talking about? oh phones.

a phone is a phone. I don't care what device anyone uses. if their online and can communicate that's all that matters.

Don't forget the chocolate (LG)!
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Old June 18th, 2014, 05:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Lol, this may lead to a great human-android love story movie))
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Old June 18th, 2014, 06:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Lol, this may lead to a great human-android love story movie))
I'll start on the book
Seriously I'm considering something like it. In this modern age we live in its easily to see how someone can love their phone. As to be in love romantically is pushing it, but thinking of your device. How much of a companion can a cell phone be? I'm never without my phone anymore. It goes where ever I go, record videos with it, edit videos, watch videos, read, text, talk, search, interact it's easy to set the plot where a cell phone can be a reoccurring character in a romance novel.

This is why I can never sleep. I'm crazy
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Old June 19th, 2014, 06:29 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm glad you enjoy my anthropomorphic allegorical tale about technology betrayal. Remember I get most of the royalties!
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Old June 20th, 2014, 07:10 PM   #14 (permalink)
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You made the front page!
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Old June 21st, 2014, 12:14 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Got my M8 today!
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Old June 21st, 2014, 03:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I wonder why Google hasn't created a virtual assistant that can talk to you.
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Old June 29th, 2014, 07:43 PM   #17 (permalink)
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they have. Google Now. only she's about as talkative as Chell from Portal 2.
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Old June 30th, 2014, 08:43 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I see moto x+1 checking you out :-P
Its called a rebound? Be weary of rebounds. I swear.
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