I think it all boils down to your interpretation of equal. As Orwell said, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." I think that some people actually do expect to be more equal than others. I also think that some people believe certain things about other groups and how things are for them in the world. Do you remember the old Saturday Night Live sketch where Eddie Murphy puts on make-up to be white? Most everyone I know laughs at that sketch because of how far fetched it is, while I am sure that some people actually believe that is how it is. They expect that kind of equality while others realize that it will never actually happen. Others actually celebrate the fact that they are different and expect people to accept that they are. Either way it all boils down to the interpretation of equality. Women have been fighting for equal rights for years and while we are pretty close, there are still some obstacles in the way or true equality.
I had not read where she wanted to go in a tux (link to article please, I am interested), but it really shouldn't matter even if she did. Unless there was a rule that stated girls have to wear dresses and boys have to wear tuxedos then it wasn't an issue. I am sure that there where some guys that that wanted to go in drag, even though they probably wouldn't admit it. One prom I attended had several straight couples that dressed in drag (men wearing the dresses and women wearing the tuxedos. It was good fun for them and they appeared to have a blast that night. Me going to the prom with my girlfriend at the time almost went unnoticed.
Yes there is problems with equality, and perhaps these extreme measures are the only way to bring these to light, but I believe that if you want equal rights, you do not have to scream it from the mountain. There is no problem with celebrating what makes us unique, but when you're called ignorant and intolerant just because you do not agree with their lifestyles, there becomes a problem. I would love to be in a world where minorities are not treated differently than anyone else, but the feeling that their time is due up for special treatment prevents this. Not trying to say all minorities are like this, but the most vocal of them are.
It wasn't the fact that she wanted to wear a tuxedo, or go with her girlfriend, it was how she went about it. If she REALLY wanted to go to prom like everyone else, she would have just done so, and not make it a point to tell inform everyone of her plans.
Yes there is problems with equality, and perhaps these extreme measures are the only way to bring these to light, but I believe that if you want equal rights, you do not have to scream it from the mountain. There is no problem with celebrating what makes us unique, but when you're called ignorant and intolerant just because you do not agree with their lifestyles, there becomes a problem. I would love to be in a world where minorities are not treated differently than anyone else, but the feeling that their time is due up for special treatment prevents this. Not trying to say all minorities are like this, but the most vocal of them are.
It wasn't the fact that she wanted to wear a tuxedo, or go with her girlfriend, it was how she went about it. If she REALLY wanted to go to prom like everyone else, she would have just done so, and not make it a point to tell inform everyone of her plans.
I don't see where she went about it in any odd way. She wasn't yelling from the rooftops or anything. It reads as though she called the school to get tickets or to double check and make sure it wasn't going to be an issue. If it was such a big deal then they should have said something then.
As far as how she was treated, did you read any of the linked articles?
Yes there is problems with equality, and perhaps these extreme measures are the only way to bring these to light, but I believe that if you want equal rights, you do not have to scream it from the mountain. There is no problem with celebrating what makes us unique, but when you're called ignorant and intolerant just because you do not agree with their lifestyles, there becomes a problem. I would love to be in a world where minorities are not treated differently than anyone else, but the feeling that their time is due up for special treatment prevents this. Not trying to say all minorities are like this, but the most vocal of them are.
It wasn't the fact that she wanted to wear a tuxedo, or go with her girlfriend, it was how she went about it. If she REALLY wanted to go to prom like everyone else, she would have just done so, and not make it a point to tell inform everyone of her plans.
personally, and no pun intended what so ever here, but i think the girl has a pair of big brass bollocks for what she did. and she has my respect and admirations for that.
personally, and no pun intended what so ever here, but i think the girl has a pair of big brass bollocks for what she did. and she has my respect and admirations for that.
As political as I can be, not here, and as outspoken as I am; I can't say that I would have had the "bollocks", as you put it, to do something like that as a teen. When I was a teen I was lucky enough to be accepted by my family and the people around me pretty quickly when I came out. There were people that had a problem with it, PTA members that swore up and down I was going to make the whole cheerleading squad gay , but overall it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Like I said before, it was barely even noticed that I took my girlfriend to the prom. I couldn't imagine dealing with all the stuff teenagers already deal with on top of dealing with being hated for who I am.
As political as I can be, not here, and as outspoken as I am; I can't say that I would have had the "bollocks", as you put it, to do something like that as a teen. When I was a teen I was lucky enough to be accepted by my family and the people around me pretty quickly when I came out. There were people that had a problem with it, PTA members that swore up and down I was going to make the whole cheerleading squad gay , but overall it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Like I said before, it was barely even noticed that I took my girlfriend to the prom. I couldn't imagine dealing with all the stuff teenagers already deal with on top of dealing with being hated for who I am.
Quote:
Originally Posted by powerkiter
But I save money not buying str............ Nah I aint gonna go there
I think that only happens in the movies anyway
LMAO! I know where you were going with that. Dirty dirty mind.
As political as I can be, not here, and as outspoken as I am; I can't say that I would have had the "bollocks", as you put it, to do something like that as a teen. When I was a teen I was lucky enough to be accepted by my family and the people around me pretty quickly when I came out. There were people that had a problem with it, PTA members that swore up and down I was going to make the whole cheerleading squad gay , but overall it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Like I said before, it was barely even noticed that I took my girlfriend to the prom. I couldn't imagine dealing with all the stuff teenagers already deal with on top of dealing with being hated for who I am.
i'm glad that your family accepted you for the person you are. sadly thats not always the case. my cousin the same age as i am told his parents he was gay when he was 18 and they pretty much disowned him.
as for "coming out" during your school years. i could never image more intimidating or scary time in ones life to have to make those kind of decisions.
I know about the roumors of what happens in the army but dude, are you trying to tell us something?
No offence but if you want to be a man in a womans body then you either need to step out from Narnia or rethink your posts LMAO
lol. i dont really know how to answer that one.
except to say that my meaning to being trapped in a woman's body was meant more in a biblical sense of the word.
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Well said dog.
Here is my back ground for light reading and relation to the thread...
4 members of my family are gay (I use this as a term for both sexes)
My uncle who was a devout Christian, he got married had 3 kids and was ordained as a minister and can still marry or bury you. He left his with and kids and came out of the closet, he then married (civil service) his partner Tony who I will always call aunty Tony and started up a psychic telephone company that he has now sold for £6 million!
I'm sure I could sell that story to the papers LOL
Apart from that there seems to be so many family members coming out that Im worried that if someone shook the family closet hard enough we would all fall out LMAO
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Good for her and anyone else that follows in her footsteps.
How astute of you, she is gay. Also, women who are gay are more commonly referred to as lesbians. I am sure that you were just pointing out to others that may not understand the story that Ms. McMillen was in fact gay and not trying to use the term in any negative way about the thread, right?
wrong; he was using humor.
and your vampire avatar offends me.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weazol
It still gets me, If someone has "injustice" done to them why do they need money?
Ahem...
Let me think...
Who was it and what country did the person live in that sued McDonald's after they burnt themselves after drinking a "hot" cup of coffee?
What country has sued fast food places for making them fat?
What country has people who sue company's/people because they cant use their own common sence and unless the packet of nut says "Caution may contain nuts" a person with a nut allergy can sue KP nuts because they eat some of their nuts and they was not warned that the packet of nut they have brought actually does contain NUTS!
It has become the norm to sue due to people having a lack of what is commonly known as "Common Sence"
Anyway I'm British and we like sarcasm as houmor so please take a guess at where this idea of suing anyone for anything came from
It still gets me, If someone has "injustice" done to them why do they need money?
Yes the school was wrong, Yes they needed to be punished
HELL NO did that girl need any amount of money. Besides maybe court fees for challenging the school.
Since this has been said a few times I am curious as to how the school should have been punished and what form of compensation the young lady should have received?
Quote:
Originally Posted by faber78
wrong; he was using humor.
and your vampire avatar offends me.
And the word gay by itself is funny in what way?
As far as my avatar goes, sorry you are offended. Hope you can find some way to deal with it. Personally, I am offended deeply by your lack of avatar.
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Since this has been said a few times I am curious as to how the school should have been punished and what form of compensation the young lady should have received?
She should not have received any sort of compensation. Thats life deal with it.
She should be happy with the fact that she fixed an injustice. She has no need for 35,000 dollars.
And the school could still be punished by a fine. But make them give the money to something else maybe the state, a fund for something, I don't know. But a single girl does not need that money.
This is the reason why America has bums who jump from job to job hoping they can find a reason to sue so they can get bank.
well gay was funny because it is a slang term used to describe anything "not cool" and yet in the situation applied to the story directly. (surely you didnt need that explanation).
though if it makes you and everyone else feel better; i find that anyone should be allowed to bring whomever they wish to such a public social event and not be discriminated against.
but im not gonna have a degradative; "i know you didnt" for what was an obvious and humorous (to some; possibly even a gay person) joke.
but way to put him in his place.
i dont have an avatar because im afraid of offending you; i guess it backfired.
She should not have received any sort of compensation. Thats life deal with it.
She should be happy with the fact that she fixed an injustice. She has no need for 35,000 dollars.
And the school could still be punished by a fine. But make them give the money to something else maybe the state, a fund for something, I don't know. But a single girl does not need that money.
This is the reason why America has bums who jump from job to job hoping they can find a reason to sue so they can get bank.
I don't this is the reason people do that. They have been doing that longer than this girl has been alive. People will continue to try it as long as there are lazy people in the world.
So the school should have to pay a fine, probably in the neighborhood of $35k, but the person who was wronged shouldn't get any of it and the money should go back to state where the money pretty much came from to start with? Or maybe the state could take it a funnel it into a program that pays all the other people you were talking about. Maybe the school could pay the fine to the state and the state could give them the money right back in the form of some made up grant. None of that really sounds that good to me.
The girl had something taken from her and was discriminated against in the process. I think she deserves some form of compensation and it is up to her what she does with it. Maybe pay for college or donate it to a charity that does just what she did.
She was just discriminated.. its not like she has a disease and needs money or she will die.
You know when I went to school I was picked on like crazy and I had it tough. I didn't get to go to prom cause finding a date was hard for geeks like me.
I should have sued for the great injustice done to me my 4 years of high school.
You know what I should sue God for giving me this life that doesn't make me happy 24/7.
Well, I don't know what she is doing with the money and neither do you. It could have mostly gone to pay for the court costs of the case, I have no idea. It could be going to the ACLU or GLAD, until you see a quote that shows her saying, "I'm going to spend the money on _____" then you really have no idea.
As far as being a straight white male in America, I wouldn't know. I happen to be a lesbian in one of the southern United States. I have experienced plenty of prejudice/ discrimination and I happen to understand where this young lady was coming from. I'm not trying to "draw unnecessary attention" to myself about this, but I am willing to bet that the discrimination you've experienced isn't quite on the same level as what others have gone through.
How many times have you been beaten for being a white male?
How many times have you been verbally abused for being a white male?
How often do you get threatened for being a white male?
How often do you have people tell you that you are disgusting because you are a white male?
How many times have you been told that you are going to go to hell for being a white male?
How many times have you had food or animal waste thrown at you for being a white male?
How often do you have people refuse to let your kids play with their kids because you are a white male?
How many times have you been fired because someone discovered you were a white male?
How many times have you been sexually harassed (as in do this or lose your job) as a white male?
How many times has someone attempted to kick you out of a group or club because you are straight?
How often do the other guys leave the locker room when you enter because they know you are straight?
How often do you have to hide your straightness for fear of the repercussions?
Do you and your significant other ever have the possibility or option of getting legally married?
I understand that almost everyone gets discriminated against in some way or another, but trying to tell me that straight white males have it worse than another group in the US isn't going to get you very far. The fact that you actually included the word possibly tells me that you don't really believe it that much either.
You're right. I don't know where the money is going, but I assume the obvious when other options aren't stated.
There is a huge difference between discrimination and abuse.
How many of the things on your list have happened to you? Be honest.
The locker room subject is a touchy one. Men are not allowed in women's locker rooms for obvious reasons - physical attraction. Plus, we'd never leave! Therefore why should lesbians be allowed in the same locker rooms as women? Sure you are the same sex, but not the same sexuality. And theoretically lesbians could be oogling these straight women as much as guys would. Are we going to have to create locker rooms and bathrooms for lesbians and homosexual men so that straight people aren't harassed? Next time I'm in a public locker room or bathroom should I sue when a homosexual man checks me out? Do you see my point? Where does discrimination/harassment/hurt feelings end????
I still laugh at it because I think it was one of the stupidest insults that anyone could have come up with.
I just realized though that I have your straight white male persecution beat.
I am gay, female, white, a breeder and undead. Nobody gets persecuted more than me. I get straight people mad that I'm gay, men mad that I'm a woman, other minorities mad because I'm white, more gay people mad because I had kids and if that isn't enough I get angry villagers mad because I killed all the virgins. I tell you, it is hard being a white undead lesbian mother of 2 in this day and age.
now thats just not fair... you get to have all the fun!
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She was just discriminated.. its not like she has a disease and needs money or she will die.
You know when I went to school I was picked on like crazy and I had it tough. I didn't get to go to prom cause finding a date was hard for geeks like me.
I should have sued for the great injustice done to me my 4 years of high school.
You know what I should sue God for giving me this life that doesn't make me happy 24/7.
that isn't the same you weren't left out by the school because you were a geek, you had the same chances everyone else did. to say you didn't just cause you couldn't get a date that is on you not the school canx the prom.
and you would have no grounds to sue God you are who you want to be. just like this girl. she is living with her choices and doing what she can to be true to herself. and she should NOT be discriminated becaue of it.
Re-reading my posts, I will apologize about a certain levels of intolerance I had for the situation. I stand by my belief that minorities draw unnecessary attention to themselves but it is ignorant for me to make such a blanket statement for all of them. Do I disagree with how some of this case went down? Absolutely. Was it a major breach on her rights? You betcha.
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wrong; he was using humor.
and your vampire avatar offends me.
Actually I was doing two things. Like you pointed out humor and then secondly I was going to make the point that people are looking to be offended. But before I got there I was lynched.
I hated HS. I was always the subject of a joke. After HS I got big. I'm 6'2" and 220 lbs. I've been told that I'm intimidating in appearance..though I'm actually a real nice guy. But maybe everyone needed some of what I went through cause you really can't make fun of me anymore. I don't care if you call me cracker, chauvinist or dumb blue collar worker... it won't bother me. On the other hand I'm quite content with who I am and if you have a problem with that then trying to insult me isn't going to change my mind.
But hey, faber got it!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Intervenient
Re-reading my posts, I will apologize about a certain levels of intolerance I had for the situation. I stand by my belief that minorities draw unnecessary attention to themselves but it is ignorant for me to make such a blanket statement for all of them. Do I disagree with how some of this case went down? Absolutely. Was it a major breach on her rights? You betcha.
It's called common sense. If she wasn't suing for the money she wouldn't have asked for money! How is that so difficult to understand?...
The original lawsuit did not ask for financial damages actually, this was a later amendment, and it may have been to cover legitimate cost incurred by the plaintiff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
...She could have sued to have a real prom...
She did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
...Or she could have donated her damages to whatever gay rights organization she chooses if it was really not about the money...
We don't know what her intentions for her awarded damages are, she may have, or may yet do any number of charitable works with the funds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
...Nobody harmed this girl in any way, shape or form...
Just like there's no harm in having white only buses, drinking fountains and schools?
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
...what about straight white males?...
I agree with regard to some of your points with regard to scholarships etc., but I don't see that as any argument whatsoever to persecute another section of society.
If you want a parade, have one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
...I can't sue for racism. I can't sue for sexual discrimination. I can't sue for religious discrimination. If I don't get a job or get fired because of my color, sexual orientation, or religous beliefs I'm out of luck. I can't play the race, sexual orientation, or religion card...
Er, yes you absolutely can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
...I'm just saying that nobody should be able to sue for damages because their feelings are hurt...
So you're not anti-gay, but don't believe they have a right to sue for equality
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
She did it for the money, period...
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
It's called common sense...
So seeing as your 'common sense' approach to accusing somebody of being a bitch and scumbag, based on false assumption of her motives, has I think been proven flawed; are you going to stand by these attacks? or apologise?
Quote:
Originally Posted by powerkiter
...It sucks being a straight white male in the UK we have no rights!...
Simply not true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by powerkiter
...Now if I tried to do the same thing but claim that black ladies where making jokes saying that "your white so you must have a small ding-a-ling" it would get laughed out of court even though it would still be a racist remark...
Would it? have you any proof of this, or are you assuming?
well gay was funny because it is a slang term used to describe anything "not cool" and yet in the situation applied to the story directly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crude
Actually I was doing two things. Like you pointed out humor and then secondly I was going to make the point that people are looking to be offended. But before I got there I was lynched.
May I point out that the Forum Rules specifically cite "gay" as an unacceptable term to use in the above manner? Whether it could be considered 'humourous' in this particular context is moot.
...yet it is still an offense to have 3 gay men in the same bed performing a sexual act but nothing applies to lesbians???
The likelihood of prosecution is minimal, but the government has a website specifically for you to report redundant or outdated laws you would like them to repeal.
In some respects the UK are ahead of other parts of Europe, where homosexuality only became legal in the 90s, and where the law says that although it's okay for two guys to have sex, and okay for one guy and any number of women, you can't have anybody else join the two guys in the room, even watching, so spit-roast is out of the question Also, sodomy between the two guys became legal, but a straight guy still can't have anal sex with his wife(even sans-rotisserie) legally?!?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intervenient
...The girl in the article was not innocent. It has been reported that she made a very big deal about going to this prom with her girlfriend and wearing a tuxedo...
I think what you mean is that she made a big deal about not being allowed to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weazol
She should not have received any sort of compensation. Thats life deal with it...
What about her costs in bringing this action, both legal and directly related? Do you not feel that those expenses should be met?
May I point out that the Forum Rules specifically cite "gay" as an unacceptable term to use in the above manner? Whether it could be considered 'humourous' in this particular context is moot.
Something occurred to me this morning while I was reading some of the new posts in this thread. The school settled with her before the court could award damages, as I recall from one of the articles. If she had been doing this all for money, wouldn't she have held out for what the court would have awarded? I mean, the school wouldn't have settled for more than what the court would have given her, so if she really did this just for money wouldn't she have waited for the higher payout from the court?
I said that they should only sue for the costs of court
Okay, that answers part of the question, what about the cost of moving due to harassment etc.?
We're talking about the principal of financial compensation, not necessarily this specific case.
Where somebody has been libeled in the press for example; say your local paper published that you were a paedophile. You would want to sue them wouldn't you? would you be content with a retraction? what if your neighbours treated you very differently because of this article, and the (false) doubts it's raised; would you not want some form of compensation? If not financial, what? Would you want to the court to rule that the Editor of the paper be falsely outed as a paedophile to even things up?
There is a huge difference between discrimination and abuse.
While I will agree that there is a difference between the two, they do sometimes go hand in hand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
How many of the things on your list have happened to you? Be honest.
How many times have you been beaten for being a white male? (If you count being slapped or punched by another girl. I have never been attacked by a group or anything in any physical way though)
How many times have you been verbally abused for being a white male? (I've had some pretty mean things said to me)
How often do you get threatened for being a white male? (I wouldn't really count them as threats)
How often do you have people tell you that you are disgusting because you are a white male? (It has happened a number of times)
How many times have you been told that you are going to go to hell for being a white male? (I've heard this one plenty of times, it is part of where my screen name comes from)
How many times have you had food or animal waste thrown at you for being a white male? (Food? Yes. Waste? No)
How often do you have people refuse to let your kids play with their kids because you are a white male? (It happened last year. It was my son's best friend and I cried for 2 days because it hurt him so much. He didn't understand it and thought that his friend suddenly didn't like him anymore. He kept talking to my girlfriend about all the thing he could do to get the other boy to like him again. It was heartbreaking. I am actually tearing up a little thinking about it right now. Of all the things that have happened to me or my girlfriend in our lives I count this as one of the worst because it hurt my son so much.)
How many times have you been fired because someone discovered you were a white male? (It has happened once that I know of for certain)
How many times have you been sexually harassed (as in do this or lose your job) as a white male? (No, I have not had to deal with this and I am thankful. I have been hit on at work by coworkers and had some very inappropriate offers.)
How many times has someone attempted to kick you out of a group or club because you are straight? (Happened in high school and in college a few times.)
How often do the other guys leave the locker room when you enter because they know you are straight? (This happened a lot to my in high school)
How often do you have to hide your straightness for fear of the repercussions? (Not too often, but it has happened. I am typically pretty open about it though.)
Do you and your significant other ever have the possibility or option of getting legally married? (We can't get married where we are and even if we went to place where we could, it wouldn't be recognized here.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by imtoomuch
The locker room subject is a touchy one. Men are not allowed in women's locker rooms for obvious reasons - physical attraction. Plus, we'd never leave! Therefore why should lesbians be allowed in the same locker rooms as women? Sure you are the same sex, but not the same sexuality. And theoretically lesbians could be oogling these straight women as much as guys would. Are we going to have to create locker rooms and bathrooms for lesbians and homosexual men so that straight people aren't harassed? Next time I'm in a public locker room or bathroom should I sue when a homosexual man checks me out? Do you see my point? Where does discrimination/harassment/hurt feelings end????
I do see your point and I understand it. However, I will say that most (I say most and not all) gay men and women aren't really checking everyone out in locker rooms. We are in there doing the same things that everyone else is, changing clothes. I will admit that I have looked at other women in the locker room before and I have seen women (who I know are straight) looking at me too. I can't say that I know what goes on in a men's locker room because I've never been in one, but I can't imagine that it is all that different. If there was a place where straight people were actually getting harassed by gay people then I would say that a separate locker room might be appropriate or at the least the owners of the gym (just an example) should do something about it. If you informed the owners and it continued to happen then you may actually have a case, I'm not sure. However, I will say that the gym I used to go to had a very large number of gay and straight members and I never once saw or heard of any problems with any of the . I also never heard or saw any orgies going on in the locker rooms.
As far as someone checking you out? That is really up to you. I take it the same way if a man or a woman checks me out. I take it as a complement and I enjoy it. Someone finds me attractive or at least appealing enough to take a look at and I think it is a cool little 10 minute ego boost.
Last edited by OfTheDamned; July 30th, 2010 at 11:01 AM.
Something occurred to me this morning while I was reading some of the new posts in this thread. The school settled with her before the court could award damages, as I recall from one of the articles. If she had been doing this all for money, wouldn't she have held out for what the court would have awarded? I mean, the school wouldn't have settled for more than what the court would have given her, so if she really did this just for money wouldn't she have waited for the higher payout from the court?
My opinion is quite the opposite!
I think if she truly sued to wrong a right she would have followed through with it to the end seeking policy changes and a public apology or something along those lines. Winning the case would have proven her point and she would have gotten the "justice" that she desired. By settling she guaranteed herself to get money out of the deal. Had she followed through she could have lost the case on a technicality or been awarded a very small sum of money. Instead she took the money rather than trying to correct that which had "wronged" her.
-------
If all those bad things have happened to you simply for being a lesbian I'm truly sorry. Nobody has the right to do that and I think they should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.
In my opinion, lesbians are more accepted than gay men because the thought of two beautiful women having sex is the fantasty of nearly every straight man ever created. And let's face it, men still rule this world, but that is ever changing in this country. That's my honest opinion. And yes, I'd love to be in a triangle like that!
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I think if she truly sued to wrong a right she would have followed through with it to the end seeking policy changes and a public apology or something along those lines. Winning the case would have proven her point and she would have gotten the "justice" that she desired. By settling she guaranteed herself to get money out of the deal. H
Uh...the court ruled in the young lady's favor. She won the court case.
Next...
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