Tonight, an Orca thought it would be a good idea to flip one of our cans into it's cargohold. He must have very quickly clicked "yes" when it asked him "Are you sure you want to take this? This entire corp will be able to kill you." He must not realize that it takes almost 30 seconds to align an Orca and warp away.
This was a $450,000,000 mistake:
Suddenly Ninjas Killboard - Kill details
Next, we came across a miner who was using an unsecured container to mine ore into. My corpmate quickly flipped the can into a secure container, and the miner decided to engage. Once the miner was beginning to flame and was half way though hull hitpoints, she began raging in local and yelling expletives at us. Not only did this just fire us up even more, it even earned her corp a war declaration from someone else passing through the system.
Suddenly Ninjas Killboard - Kill details
I sent her a citation for her reckless jetcan mining:
TEARS Citation #50784B Use of Unlicensed Jetcan; 1 Offense
From: Kyle Shephard
Sent: 2010.09.11 05:32
To: Aubrey Oceansong, Serannus Starr
Dear Aubrey Oceansong,
This citation is a direct result of the use of an unlicensed jetcan in CONCORD space. As the authorized TEARS agent in the sector, I confiscated and impounded 2,390 m3 of Scordite valued at roughly 170 thousand ISK that had been left floating in a municipal asteroid belt / warplane. This ore was transferred into one licensed TEARS container awaiting pickup, but has since been destroyed as of 05:32 EVE standard time. Please see the attached citation for the fine due and instructions for remittance. Thank you.
Questions, comments, or complaints may be submitted to subgroup commander Aiden Mourn
Kyle Shephard, Sinq Laison Region TEARS Representative
FORM #46183.A-C93 UNREGISTERED JETCAN CITATION
Issued by: TEAR EXTRACTION AND RECLAMATION SERVICE
Sector ID: 486BFG88499HG-3345-588FN
Jetcan Inventory: See Misc/Ref. Lading Log #6587-15
Operatives of TEARS Alliance, Subgroup: Suddenly Ninjas [YOINK] have issued a member of your Corporation a Citation for Failure to Properly Register an Unsecured Jetcan Residing in a Municipal Asteroid Belt per EDEN Municipal Code #46183.A in 0.8 System: Vylade
Parties In Violation:
Aubrey Oceansong
Infraction of EDEN Municipal Code #46183.A can incur a fine of up to 500,000.00 ISK, authorized destruction of vessel and resulting wreck salvage fees, not to exceed 20,000.00 ISK.
Registration Fee .................................................. 250,000 ISK
Astrogation LIDAR Omission Penalty ............................... 150,000 ISK
Debris Handling Fee................................................................. 50.000 ISK
Disposal Fee ..................................................................... 15,000 ISK
TEARS Licensed Destructable Jetcan x1..................................100,000 ISK
TEARS Officer Ammunition.................................................200,000 ISK
Fraternal Order of Salvagers Union Fund Contribution ... 5,500 ISK
Total Assessment: 745,000 ISK
Please Remit Funds to TEARS - Spacelane Sanitation Division
Authorized Representative or your nearest TEARS Alliance Officer.
Failure to submit payment on this citation may prompt additional TEARS action and requisite sanctions.
To which she replied:
Hi, Kyle --
As we both know that your "citation" is complete and utter bullshit; and as we both know that you griefed and destroyed my Retriever while I was simply mining and minding my own business; please allow me to respond:
(1) Since you copied my Corp leader on this message, I have done the same. I suppose time will tell whether that was an intelligent move on your part or not.
(2) Congrats on the little fiefdom that you have set up in Vylade. You sure seem to have a cushy racket going on -- your pretensions to authority are especially cute and funny.
(3) (This is where I supect I will lose your short attention span) All that said, you and I both know that I was just minding my own business, and I guess I was unlucky enough to wander into your little playground. My bad. But what did you really accomplish tonight? I. for one, just got much closer to cancelling my subcription to EVE -- because, frankly, I came here to have fun, and litlle shits like yourself really can put an end to that, you know?
(4) (This is where I tell you what I really think) Still with me, you stupid ******ed piece of idiocy? I hope so. See, I want you to understand that, to the rest of the world (hell, even the EVE world), your tiny pretentions are just pathetic. OOH, I've gotten a "citiation" for an "unlicensed jetcan"!!! Really? Is that what you and your inbred friends could come up with? Lame, lame, lame -- but have fun with it, as I saw tonight that you and your group of mouth-breathing ******s get off on it. I mean, really? Ambushing miners and trying to make them a part of your utter-geek Thunderdome? Damn, dude, you really need to get out more.
So, Kyle, you killed me. Awesome job, dude -- you blew up a miner in high sec. Congrats. Hell, you might also have just caused me to quit the game, since I'm tired of dealing with shits like you and your little inbreeders -- was that what you intended? If so, congrats again -- but you're going to run short on sheep to shear if you keep it up.
If you ever want to meet MY friends, come on out to low-sec space and they might say hi. Otherwise, have fun in your little fantasy world, keep issuing your "citations," and keep on being what you fundamentally are -- a big, ****ing, stupid idiot piece of shit bully.
Oh, and just in case you didn't hear me tonight when I rejected your blackmail demand at the cost of my ship: **** YOU.
Aubrey
She's a feisty one.
Next, we had yet ANOTHER Drake decide to flip one of our cans, but I was off selling some modules in Jita, so I had to sit and watch once I got back. This battle was ridiculous. My corpmate from above was engaging the Drake in his Rifter, while getting remote armor repair from another member of our corp. The Rifter managed to burn out two of it's three guns while they were being overloaded, and was left just plinking away with one little autocannon. We did eventually finish the Drake off, but it took almost an hour of fighting:
Suddenly Ninjas Killboard - Kill details
Apparently this did not sit well with his friend, though, who warped in with a Hurricane only to get blown to shit by Concord since he did not have kill rights on us.
Suddenly Ninjas Killboard - Kill details
And honestly, who is their right mind flies a mining battlecruiser into a PvP fight? Concord did Eve a great service today by blowing this ship up.
To end the night, I found another miner using an unsecured jetcan. I flipped it, and he angrily warped off to station, so I stuck around waiting to see if he came back in a big ship . He eventually did come back, in the same ship (aptly named "ME YOU DEAD"), but he replaced the mining lasers with guns that the ship does not get bonuses to, and of all mis-matched sizes and versions. This ship is specifically suited for anti-frigate work, so I expected to get popped, but I wanted to fight anyway. Well, once he finally engaged, I turned on my autocannons, web, scrambler, and as I was going for my cap neutralizer, I looked up and he was already halfway through structure.
Needless to say, he went pop:
Suddenly Ninjas Killboard - Kill details
This is the best week I have ever had in Eve.