I dunno...I think any story that changes your life in such a positive way can be considered epic. Clearly a strong desire to chew. Have you tried a Kong? You can put treats in them and it keeps dogs busy for hours. Since there's food in them, it keeps their attention longer than plain old chew toys. One of mine does that. In fact, she'll eat pretty much anything she can get her mouth around. Cell phones. Pagers. Shaving razors (don't ask me how she didn't cut herself with that one). Lip gloss. But her favorite is toilet paper and paper towels. We have to keep all the bathroom doors closed so she can't get to it. I do, but don't tell me...I haven't watched it yet. YES! Dammit...between that, WWF and HWF, I can't get squat done at home! DON'T DO IT! Run fast, run far, run now. Ummmm...have you ever met a pug?