I am extremely emotional over this.


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  1. jamor

    jamor Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Poster



    Hi
    I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.



    [​IMG]



    This is the only photo of her I have. she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
    Thanks Shan.

    From:David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    That is shocking news.
    Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
    Regards, David.



    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Poster



    yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Poster



    Dear Shannon,
    I never said I don't like cats. Attached poster as requested.
    Regards, David.



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



    yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



    Dear Shannon,
    It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
    Regards, David.



    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



    Dear Shannon,
    Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
    Regards, David.



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



    This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



    yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.



    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Awww



    Dear Shannon,
    I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a shed and forgot about it. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
    Regards, David.



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject: Re:
    Awww



    Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Awww



    I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
    Regards, David.



    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Awww



    Please just use the photo I gave you.


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



    I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

    From:
    David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



    Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


    From:
    David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



    [​IMG]




    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



    Fine. That will have to do.






    -----------------------




    Happy Friday!
     

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  2. OMJ

    OMJ Bazinga VIP Member

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    pretty funny. The first poster is awesome. I would be more inclined to help find a lost cat if it had a poster like that
     
  3. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

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    I am actually sitting in my office laughing out loud. That was really funny, thank you. I work with several designers and this is exactly how they are. Too funny.
     
  4. ed_mcnasty

    ed_mcnasty Active Member

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    lmao david is my hero.
     
  5. jamor

    jamor Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    Hahaha. I was dying too. My co-workers probably thought I was nuts.

    Hilarious.
     
  6. The_Gnome_

    The_Gnome_ Well-Known Member

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    Omg hahaha. Priceless!
     
  7. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

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    part of the story is missing, lmao, i read this last week on another forum i frequent...
     
  8. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

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    Well, you need to find it a post the rest of it. I can't imagine it getting any funnier though.
     
  9. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

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    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Poster Hi
    I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.


    [​IMG]


    This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
    Thanks Shan.

    From:
    David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Poster
    Dear Shannon,

    That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
    Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
    Regards, David.

    From:
    Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Poster
    yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.


    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Poster
    Dear Shannon,

    I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

    Attached poster as requested.

    Regards, David.

    [​IMG]

    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    Dear Shannon,

    It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
    Regards, David.

    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    Dear Shannon,

    Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

    I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

    Regards, David.

    [​IMG]

    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    [​IMG]


    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
    yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Awww
    Dear Shannon,

    I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean feces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

    I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

    Regards, David.

    [​IMG]

    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
    To:
    David Thorne
    Subject:
    Re: Awww
    Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

    From: David Thorne
    Date:
    Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
    To:
    Shannon Walkley
    Subject:
    Re: Re: Awww
    I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

    I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

    Regards, David.


    From: Shannon Walkley
    [B]Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
    [B]To:[/B] David Thorne
    [B]Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Awww
    Please just use the photo I gave you.

    [B]From:[/B][COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial] David Thorne[B]
    Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm[B]
    To:[/B] Shannon Walkley[B]
    Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
    [/FONT][/COLOR]
    [IMG]http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/melodymaker/RH3QMXYooXNvA7ADc2yk2DNAEuU9oo32HEdjd2gEo9dbNZEAREpn97Dy3Uei/ATT00009.jpg[/IMG]

    [B]From:[/B][COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial] Shannon Walkley[B]
    Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm[B]
    To:[/B] David Thorne[B]
    Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
    I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan

    [B]From:[/B][COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial] David Thorne[B]
    Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm[B]
    To:[/B] Shannon Walkley[B]
    Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
    [/FONT][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial][IMG]http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/melodymaker/qocKlruRz1xRRU46G0UCogKLpJhmjv7eUpzerfcHzwR4bAzmSYgFoYv0EYrq/ATT00010.jpg[/IMG][/FONT][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial][B]From:[/B][COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial] Shannon Walkley[B]
    Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm[B]
    To:[/B] David Thorne[B]
    Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
    Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

    [B]From:[/B][COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial] David Thorne[B]
    Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm[B]
    To:[/B] Shannon Walkley[B]
    Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
    [/FONT][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial][IMG]http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/melodymaker/bwMZtmHEjNbdOl329KxjtspLK0Bg6f1EdvHcMXY0c1CbPx380g4YqTlEsP8K/ATT00011.jpg[/IMG][/FONT][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial][B]From:[/B][COLOR=#5F5F5F][FONT=Arial] Shannon Walkley[B]
    Date:[/B] Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm[B]
    To:[/B] David Thorne[B]
    Subject:[/B] Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
    Fine. That will have to do.

    Text and images pulled from:
    [url=http://melodymaker.posterous.com/missing-missy-thread-mail-by-david-thorne-lau]Missing Missy - Thread mail by David Thorne - Laugh out loud stuff - melodymaker's posterous[/url][/FONT][/COLOR]
    [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]
     
  10. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

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    it is my belief that most of the funnier parts were left out (i think they are funnier because they are inherently more cruel) but judge for yourself, the original post is above.

    :D
     
  11. eyebeam

    eyebeam Well-Known Member

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    F-ing hysterical! Thanks for the laugh.
     
  12. jamor

    jamor Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    Yea I left the cruel parts out in case we had PETA members :eek:
     
  13. VegasOnAcid

    VegasOnAcid Well-Known Member

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    This is the same guy that did the spider picture right?
     
  14. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

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    PETA members shouldnt ever get upset about something like that...
    [​IMG]

    I dont think cat would taste particularly good, espescially run over cat or drowned cat... :p
     
  15. SB13X

    SB13X Well-Known Member

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    I like David too, I also hate cats, primarily because I love my children and watching them smile and play in the back garden rather than have them come screaming in complaining of having cat shit all over them. People say they are clean animals but only because they are dirty everywhere else other than their home.
     
  16. Roze

    Roze Hiding behind a mystery VIP Member

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    OMG that's the funniest thing!!! Good thing I can laugh silently XD I'm going to read the R rated version :D
     
  17. Scooter70

    Scooter70 Well-Known Member

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    This reminds me of the one with the spider.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Roze

    Roze Hiding behind a mystery VIP Member

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    Man...that David sure is something...I would so love to meet him and see how he is!!! I swear that he'll be one hell of an entertaining fella!
     
  19. VegasOnAcid

    VegasOnAcid Well-Known Member

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    Ya I have gotten no work done for a while now just reading his website... f'n hysterical lol
     
  20. NYCHitman1

    NYCHitman1 Gun for Hire Developer

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    I'm down w/ O.P.P.
     
  21. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

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  22. eyebeam

    eyebeam Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  23. byteware

    byteware Well-Known Member

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    I literally had to hold my breath while reading it to keep from making a scene in the office... hilarious!
     
  24. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

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    His site is full of this stuff.

    Permission Slip and Blockbuster are both just as funny.
     
  25. Intervenient

    Intervenient Well-Known Member

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    Oh Lord, that was too funny.
     

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