ICStounding Bionic LuvGeneral


  1. capn_buzzcut

    capn_buzzcut New Member

    CAUTION: SUGGESTIVE CONTENT. MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES.

    It's been a difficult year. For months I've waited. Constantly being teased...repeatedly...mercilessly. Will it happen today? Please? But no. My friends say I should have left you long ago, but I would not. Over and over again my advances have been spurned. I've laid awake many sleepless nights wanting so badly to consummate the deep personal relationship we share, but you've coyly said no despite the throbbing foner that trembled in my loins.

    But today is different! Today you whispered those loving words my eyes have longed to read: "Update Available". I tried to pretend I didn't care as I raced to the nearest WiFi access. My fingers deftly traced the path that has lead so many times to heartache and frustration, and there it was. With nervous excitement I touched you, and you eagerly responded. "Downloading". Oh yeah baby, take it. Take it ALL. I watched in amazement as you welcomed it inside so easily.

    And then, blackness. Seconds passed as you caught your breath and prepared for what was next. I stood ready, waiting. A glimmer of what was to come - a playful little cartoon that went on for minutes, assured me that you still care and had not gone away. My passion increased as I watched the yellow progress bar at the bottom building with anticipation. Faster and faster we moved together as you deftly worked your magic. My pulse pounded and tears streamed down my face as I watched. Finally with all the pent-up emotion of the past year, I couldn't hold on any longer as I released my grip and you majestically burst forth in all your glory. We collapsed on my desk together, spent and warming in the afterglow.

    We are now one. Our relationship has moved on to the next level. Your warm embrace comforts me as you rest inside my pants pocket, casually stroking my body as you remind me of your willingness. With the slightest touch now, you're connected and ready. I struggle to find my way around this new life together, but thankful that I was patient enough to wait.

    As I look back on our time together, I'm amazed at how we've grown. It was hard, but it's the difficulties in life that build relationships. Over the next few months I know that we'll play and laugh together and we'll share moments that only the two of us can. The excitement may not always be as intense as it once was, but the passion we shared will live for a lifetime.

    And then someday, I'll throw you in the trash and get another one.

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  2. DDave

    DDave Well-Known Member

    Very well done!

    LOL..
  3. wyzird

    wyzird Well-Known Member

    LMAO!!!
  4. dautley

    dautley VIP Member VIP Member

    What can one say after that!
  5. Duckster

    Duckster Well-Known Member

    I don't smoke but I think I might have a cigarette after reading that!
  6. PowerBomb

    PowerBomb Well-Known Member

    Wtf...
  7. Satires

    Satires Well-Known Member

    Dayum, and I thought I loved my phone.... :D
  8. stridermt2k

    stridermt2k Well-Known Member

  9. stridermt2k

    stridermt2k Well-Known Member

    I didn't know where else to post this, and it doesn't seem worthy of its own thread, so just to compound the silliness:

    A big chunk of a molar broke off today at work, and I'm waiting to see the dentist in an hour.
    No pain, but it is jagged as hell and feels weird.

    My first thought: AWESOME, now I have some more time to fiddle with my PHONE.

    True story.

    -best distraction I can think of too. :rolleyes:

    EDIT
    Dentist fixed my tooth. :D <---see?
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