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Lesbian Awarded Damages for Prom Ban

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  1. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    Wow, some of the thoughts and posts in this thread really scare me. I find it incredibly sad that a girl's victory in the face of discrimination could be viewed as anything other than a positive. :(

    I'm glad that you can see how the school, faculty, students and parents were wrong, but I don't understand how she was. How exactly do homosexuals draw unnecessary attention to themselves? By doing the exact same things that straight couples do? Really bizzar behavior like holding hands, hugging, kissing, talking about their significant other or being proud of who they are? What kind of attention do you consider unnecessary? Would it have been better for this girl to spend her whole life denying who she is and being miserable?

    Sex and sexual orientation are two different things. People are showing their sexual orientation in the parades and there is nothing wrong with that. It is the same as any other group doing marches for equal rights, gay people just do it with a little more flare.

    This had absolutely nothing at all to do with money and I doubt the girl wasn't really after any. This was about discrimination pure and simple. She was discriminated against because she is gay. Would you be saying the same thing if this happened because of her race or here gender in general?

    As far as the school doing what it wants, it needs to become a private school then. As a public school it is not allowed, by law, to discriminate against any of the students and therefore was clearly in the wrong.

    Calling her a "bitch" because she didn't feel like have her rights trampled on by a bunch of narrow minded fools makes me wonder how you would respond if someone trampled all over your rights. Would you just skulk away upset or would you stand up and fight for your rights? In our society one of the biggest forms of punishment that can be effective and retroactive is monetary. Are you saying that you wouldn't do something similar if you were wronged?

    She did it because she was discriminated against by a public learning institution as well as the students, parents and faculty. I would consider this country to already be at the bottom if people were allowed to get away with something like this. Nobody deserves to be mistreated because they are different.

  2. Crude

    Crude Well-Known Member

    The fundamental issue here is what a person perceives as right and wrong. One side wants acceptance from the other and wise versa. Both sides see the other as wrong. Which side makes the news with the more radical approach? Which side is all about acceptance yet cannot accept the other? The issue is so full of double standarts, hate and bs that it cannot even be discussed reasonably. I think from here on out I'll take leave thread like this to their devices... I really don't have the time.
  3. mpw

    mpw Well-Known Member

    Are you saying that you accept discrimination of any kind is okay?

    If the two sides are liberals (non-political) and bigots, then the liberals are far more accepting than the bigots already, the bigots however are the ones unwilling to reasonable compromise.

    In this case the bigots.

    Neither, the liberals are willing to accept the viewpoints of the bigots (however wrong they feel they are), but not the actions where they are impacting on others. The bigots are not willing to be as accepting.

    The liberals are seeking equality, where is the double standard in that?

    Shame, if you took the time to be more understanding I think it'd be good.
  4. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    Not sure if I am reading what you wrote correctly or not on this.

    In general, I think homosexuals do want to be accepted and don't want to be persecuted or discriminated against. I can't think of a single instance where you could say that they view straight people as wrong, unless you are referring to mistreatment or the belief that it is a "choice". I don't understand where the double standard is. Could you explain that to me?
  5. imtoomuch

    imtoomuch Well-Known Member

    It's called common sense. If she wasn't suing for the money she wouldn't have asked for money! How is that so difficult to understand?

    She could have sued to have a real prom. Or she could have donated her damages to whatever gay rights organization she chooses if it was really not about the money.

    I am just as sickened that this society has accepted the "If you hurt my feelings I want your money" mentality! Nobody harmed this girl in any way, shape or form.

    If you want to take it to a "how would I feel if I was discrimated" discussion I will do that. I'm possibly discriminated against all the time. I am a heterosexual white male - one of the only groups that can legally be discriminated against. There are scholarships that are exclusively for minorities, there are race and sexual orientation organizations dedicated to protecting their "rights", there are days or months dedicated to minorities, but what about straight white males?

    I can't sue for racism. I can't sue for sexual discrimination. I can't sue for religious discrimination. If I don't get a job or get fired because of my color, sexual orientation, or religous beliefs I'm out of luck. I can't play the race, sexual orientation, or religion card.

    Now don't accuse me of being anti-gay or racist. I have a gay friend and family member and I have or have had friends from different ethnicities, backrounds, etc. That's not my point. I'm just saying that nobody should be able to sue for damages because their feelings are hurt. If she was fired from her job and lost money then she would deserve it.
  6. powerkiter

    powerkiter Well-Known Member

    ^^^^^I'm with him^^^^^

    It sucks being a straight white male in the UK we have no rights!

    There was a story a few years ago where a black prison guard sued the prison services for a very large sum!


    Due to female prisoners making a stereotypical joke and point out that as he is black he must have a big ahem... Ding-a-ling! FFS!!!

    Now if I tried to do the same thing but claim that black ladies where making jokes saying that "your white so you must have a small ding-a-ling" it would get laughed out of court even though it would still be a racist remark.

    Im all for equal rights but please...

    Make sure everybody has equal rights, I am no longer allowed to fly the flag of my country as it might offend another race that lives here, religious celebrations are being cancelled in case they offend others from abroad that decide to live here.

    Equal rights for all including us straight white males! :D
  7. 3devious

    3devious Well-Known Member

    Call me sexist, but I stand by what I am about to say because I believe it. If it is sexist and offends you, that wasn't my intention. A lot of you guys don't get it because you're well, guys. (Not trying to hate, just pointing out the obvious.) I will also go so far as to say (this part is a bit dubious, but I am throwing caution to the wind here) that it has been a while since high school for some of us.

    So by not being:

    a girl

    a highschooler

    I am going to ASSuME that some of you don't get that a prom is a big deal for a significant number of highschool girls. Why? I can't really explain it, I think that trying to explain why I loved horses so much when I was 12 might have a better chance of being understood. I am not saying that men are clueless, it's just that they usually have different priorities.

    OK. Prom. Big deal (for some girls.) Some young ladies spend months working on said big deal and a lot of money is sometimes shelled out for this big deal. I've been to two proms and I've spent more on each of the dresses for either of them than my wedding dress. It is even a close call to see which I have spent more on, wedding or proms and nevermind how overboard 4 parents get with photo ops. Imagine the paparazi but they are all related to you. :eek:

    The expense part isn't entirely fair. My wedding was a foiled effort to elope where we ended up taking the relatives who ambushed us to an expensive dinner. Things have changed, priorities have changed and now I think that proms are stupid but I remember how people in those positions felt.

    It isn't about "hurting someone's feelings." What if your kid was on a sports team and slaved away with practices and games all season and they were having a banquet for the whole team but didn't want your kid to come because everyone else did these religious rituals at meals that had nothing to do with baseball but you had to be a member of the religion to do the ritual and they didn't want non-believers to share the meal? Since it is dangerous to discriminate against someone on the basis of religion, they were worried about being sued. In light of that, they told you that it was cancelled and your kid was harrased by the teammates for ruining the banquet, yet things turned around and the banquet was back on and you and your kid were led to a decoy banquet while your kid's teammates went to the real banquet?

    I don't know what kind of ammends should be made but you have to admit that it is pretty outrageous and that kind of behavior should be punished. They did what they did to be mean and hateful and dodge a lawsuit. I think solely based on the fact that they seemed to care about it so much, they should have been sued. I would be more interested in preventing such an unacceptable act from happening again. Forget that whole town, there isn't a single student/parent/staff member of that school that is worth a damn.
    Jeted, mpw, ballisticn8 and 2 others like this.
  8. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    Well, I don't know what she is doing with the money and neither do you. It could have mostly gone to pay for the court costs of the case, I have no idea. It could be going to the ACLU or GLAD, until you see a quote that shows her saying, "I'm going to spend the money on _____" then you really have no idea.

    As far as being a straight white male in America, I wouldn't know. I happen to be a lesbian in one of the southern United States. I have experienced plenty of prejudice/ discrimination and I happen to understand where this young lady was coming from. I'm not trying to "draw unnecessary attention" to myself about this, but I am willing to bet that the discrimination you've experienced isn't quite on the same level as what others have gone through.

    How many times have you been beaten for being a white male?
    How many times have you been verbally abused for being a white male?
    How often do you get threatened for being a white male?
    How often do you have people tell you that you are disgusting because you are a white male?
    How many times have you been told that you are going to go to hell for being a white male?
    How many times have you had food or animal waste thrown at you for being a white male?
    How often do you have people refuse to let your kids play with their kids because you are a white male?
    How many times have you been fired because someone discovered you were a white male?
    How many times have you been sexually harassed (as in do this or lose your job) as a white male?
    How many times has someone attempted to kick you out of a group or club because you are straight?
    How often do the other guys leave the locker room when you enter because they know you are straight?
    How often do you have to hide your straightness for fear of the repercussions?
    Do you and your significant other ever have the possibility or option of getting legally married?

    I understand that almost everyone gets discriminated against in some way or another, but trying to tell me that straight white males have it worse than another group in the US isn't going to get you very far. The fact that you actually included the word possibly tells me that you don't really believe it that much either.

    I can't argue the rights of those in the UK, because I honestly don't know them well enough. I think it is ridiculous that you are not allowed to fly your own countries flag. I also agree that good or bad everyone's rights should be equal across the board. The politically correct world has taken over and it has cause a tremendous number of problems and I think it is really messing things up.

    I don't have a problem with people getting their feelings hurt. It happens to everyone and it is probably the only that is truly equal to all races, religions and sexes. It has happened throughout history and will continue to happen well into the future. I think it is healthy every once in a while. However, I do draw the line when it comes from a place of hate or discrimination. There never was and never will be a good reason to judge someone based on their race, religion or sex.
    Jeted, shawn1224, mpw and 1 other person like this.
  9. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

    Wow, this is so incredibly simple and close minded thinking its scary. I claim to be moderately in the middle so please dont even try to write me off as being a leftist liberal because I argue with Hackr (;)) all the damn time.

    The school is publicly funded, by gays and straights, males and females, and all manner of races and religions. What the school did was discrimination plain and simple. Whether you believe that homosexuality is right or wrong simply put, doesnt matter, and for your personal beliefs to be put before morals and equal treatment is just dumb. The school has no right to discriminate based on her sexual preference and by not allowing a student to participate in her prom because she is a lesbian is just as ridiculous as (hypothetical situation) a public school in San Francisco barring heterosexual students from going to prom. Oh yeah, I'd bet everyone calling this girl a b!tch and an attention grabber would be on the complete other side of things if the situation were reversed.

    Since its been proven by several posts on here that intelligence is lacking when its not a topic you agree with let me provide you all the definition of discrimination per Websters Dictionary, a source I think everyone can agree is neither liberal or conservative :eek::

    1a: the act of discriminating
    1b: the process by which two stimuli differing in some aspect are responded to differently
    2: the quality or power of finely distinguishing
    3a: the act, practice, or an instance of discriminating categorically rather than individually

    What the school did was wrong and since they have already acted in such a way that they cant undue the wrong they have done they should be punished. Do I agree with frivolous lawsuits, nope, I think stupid people get what they have coming but this young woman deserved to go her prom and they took it from her.

    Jeted, shawn1224, mpw and 2 others like this.
  10. powerkiter

    powerkiter Well-Known Member

    Nice post but to be fair if you live in london and end up in the wrong area 90% of what you said can happen to you for being a white male. Honest.

    Oh and when I'm drinking in the local gay friendly pub where I do a lot of decorating work me and my gf have people snear and call us "breaders" they have gay only nights etc so no one is exempt from sexual abuse or receiving straightophobic comments.

    It's a sad fact of life that be it "Android-iphone" "straight-gay" "white-black" "north-south" "rich-poor" there will always be hatred from one group to another via a minority of the folk.

    Me well I even have friends who are iphans :)
  11. hakr100

    hakr100 Well-Known Member

    Please explain "breader."
  12. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

    ^^^ pretty sure he mean't "breeder" by what his statements implied... ;)
  13. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    I'm guessing that no matter who you are or where you live there is always that one street you can't go down because some of those things might happen. I know of areas where I live that certain groups should avoid if they want to continue living healthy injury free lives. My point is that many of those things happen to a lot of people no matter where they go. One of my friends is black lesbian living in a rural, very religious part of the south (she is there for work) and she faces at least one of the things I listed on nearly a daily basis. I am happy that she will only be there for the rest of this month, but she tells me that each day is almost worse than the last. I can't even imagine it honestly.

    I think that as long as there is racism, sexism or homophobia there will be a group to reverse it and put it back on an individual of the the "opposite side". I've never understood it, but I guess that some people get fed up after years of taking abuse and decide that they are just going to hate everyone that is different or opposite them. I have known people like this (man hating lesbians for one) and I choose not to socialize with them. I have also heard people refer to straight people as breeders before and always thought it was rather stupid and childish. I could never use the term myself because I am a breeder since I have 2 kids. ;) If you ever come to the states, most of our gay bars are really friendly and typically open to anyone. :D
  14. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    I also think he meant breeder.

    The straight community came up with derogatory names for people in the gay community (not listing any of them here, they are well known) so people in the gay and lesbian community came up with a somewhat derogatory name for straight people. They are referred to as breeders because, well they breed and have offspring where many in the homosexual community do not. Like I said before though, I'm a breeder too.
  15. powerkiter

    powerkiter Well-Known Member

    Ok a swype typo.

    Breeders is a derogatory word used by gay people to describe us straight people.

    See its not only gay people who get abuse for their sexuality.
  16. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    I still laugh at it because I think it was one of the stupidest insults that anyone could have come up with.

    I just realized though that I have your straight white male persecution beat.

    I am gay, female, white, a breeder and undead. Nobody gets persecuted more than me. I get straight people mad that I'm gay, men mad that I'm a woman, other minorities mad because I'm white, more gay people mad because I had kids and if that isn't enough I get angry villagers mad because I killed all the virgins. I tell you, it is hard being a white undead lesbian mother of 2 in this day and age. :p
  17. powerkiter

    powerkiter Well-Known Member

    Oh and here's an odd law in the uk.

    Up until the 60's being gay was illegal, yet it is still an offense to have 3 gay men in the same bed performing a sexual act but nothing applies to lesbians???
  18. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

    thats because they wanted to film the 3 lesbians ;)
  19. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    There are laws like that in the US too. There are a few states that stiff have what we call sodomy laws on the books tot his day. Nothing about it being illegal to be homosexual, just can't have sex. I remember reading an article once that said in (don't remember the state) there were more straight people getting in trouble over those laws than gay people.


    Lesbians are always more socially acceptable than gay men for some reason.
  20. Perhaps I should have added some carity to my initial post.

    I have many gay friends. We often have discussions about the difficulties of being gay, and how much of a hardship it is to be accepted into common culture. They say the number one thing they want is to "fit in" with the rest of their family, friends, community. That's noble, and no one should deny them of this right.

    However, the very same friends of mine who say this, write things like this on their twitter:

    Today- I walked around in Ross w/ a friend pretending to be trans. I grabbed womens clothes & accessories, while getting death stares..

    If you want to fit in, why draw such attention to yourselves?

    The reason? It seems most gay people (like a number of minorities) are less interested in being treated equal, and more interested in getting rewards and benefits for being different. They figure that society is due for them to have their reign, and do so by being as obnoxious about their "differences" as possible.

    The girl in the article was not innocent. It has been reported that she made a very big deal about going to this prom with her girlfriend and wearing a tuxedo. She made it a point for every single person to know this. Had she really been interested in being equal, she would have just went with her girlfriend anyway, done so in silence. Instead of doing this, she decided to blow up the story and condemn people for having different views than hers. Most gay people I've met have this sick pleasure of calling out people's social comforts.

    I don't care if your gay, black, obese, etc etc. You claim that you want to fit in with everyone else, do so without having to shout your sexual preference from the highest rooftop, or go in Ross wearing woman's clothes.

    Regular people don't do that.
  21. hakr100

    hakr100 Well-Known Member

    I am straight, male, undead and not a breeder. Got "snipped" many years ago. :D
  22. ballisticn8

    ballisticn8 Well-Known Member

    @ intervenient:

    I know more straight people that do much more ridiculous things for attn than any and all of the homosexual people I know. That doesn't change your experience but your experience doesn't mean that all homosexual people act that way. Whether she wanted attn or not doesn't change the fact that the school discriminated against her due to her sexual preference.

    @ OTD:

    The female form is just so much easier on the eyes than the male form. I can't lie, if I was born a woman I'd be a lesbian, lmao... :D
  23. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

    I think it all boils down to your interpretation of equal. As Orwell said, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." I think that some people actually do expect to be more equal than others. I also think that some people believe certain things about other groups and how things are for them in the world. Do you remember the old Saturday Night Live sketch where Eddie Murphy puts on make-up to be white? Most everyone I know laughs at that sketch because of how far fetched it is, while I am sure that some people actually believe that is how it is. They expect that kind of equality while others realize that it will never actually happen. Others actually celebrate the fact that they are different and expect people to accept that they are. Either way it all boils down to the interpretation of equality. Women have been fighting for equal rights for years and while we are pretty close, there are still some obstacles in the way or true equality.

    I had not read where she wanted to go in a tux (link to article please, I am interested), but it really shouldn't matter even if she did. Unless there was a rule that stated girls have to wear dresses and boys have to wear tuxedos then it wasn't an issue. I am sure that there where some guys that that wanted to go in drag, even though they probably wouldn't admit it. One prom I attended had several straight couples that dressed in drag (men wearing the dresses and women wearing the tuxedos. It was good fun for them and they appeared to have a blast that night. Me going to the prom with my girlfriend at the time almost went unnoticed.

    Another vampire on the forums?!?!? I had no idea.

    I can't in any way, shape, or form argue with you there. No offense guys, but women are much nicer to look at. :D If I was born a woman I would also be a lesbian....oh wait....too late :eek:.....:p
  24. hakr100

    hakr100 Well-Known Member

    In my next life, I want to be a really *hot* Lesbian. :p
  25. ThreeDog

    ThreeDog Well-Known Member

    don't we all !!

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