My dearest S4: We have been together since Memorial day weekend of 2013. You were fresh and new. I was impressed at your speed and beautiful display. I was so sure I've found the one and could finally settle down. The other former loves seemed distant. Just the fact you were willing and able to keep your exact battery percentage visible to me always was such a comfort. However, I didn't even know it yet but I was walking into a trap. Since day one you haven't been honest with me. I thought you would correctly allow headphones to plug into you but had me under such a spell that I didn't know until after your 14 day return period that you never really did. You wouldn't snap anything in and so I couldn't listen to anything on you through an external speaker. I had you replaced soon after and things were fine until you pulled the same stunt on me. I was appalled that you would have the nerve to fail me twice in the same way. Once again your new self was free from issues. I rested from my worries for about 6 months but then you spit in my face. I trusted you with something very dear to me and you betrayed me. My 32 GB class 10 SD card was only about 5 months old. However in disgust at me you decided that you randomly weren't gonna read it! You told me "SD card unexpectedly removed", yet I never even tried to do such a thing to you. How could you accuse me of such a terrible crime? I took out my card, backed it up to my laptop, reformatted it, and put it back in. You still did the same thing and I was heartbroken. Finally in desperation, I wiped you clean and started over. I thought, maybe if you were fresh and new again as from the factory that you would stop treating me like I'm abusing you. I've never dropped you, gotten you wet, ripped your charging cable out, or treated you anything less than the most important and closest piece of electronics I have. Finally I had to get you switched out again and then you finally stopped ruining my life by not letting me access what was stored in my card. This was all well for almost another 6 months or so. Then one day you decided to just shut down. You wouldn't respond to me or to your home button and so I had to hold down your power button to wake you up again from your fainting. A few more times you shut down on me refusing to function like some narcoleptic family member on the couch. Once again I wiped you clean and gave you a factory complete remodel. I was sad when you didn't flinch but went back to your days of passing out. So I got you replaced for the 4th time, tying my old record with my ex, RAZR Maxx. I have been slowly growing stronger and less susceptible to your disappointments though. I no longer feel worried or nervous when I see how you aren't clearly able or willing to live with me. The other day when I saw you decided to drain your battery 12% per hour because of "app usage - media" I was so mad. What have I done to deserve this? I once again factory reset you and started over. I've gotten so used to this that it barely takes me an hour to bring you back to 100% of your normal self. However you did the same thing to me this morning! Finally I figured out I can go into your settings -storage -unmount SD card and then take the card out. I disconnected your power source and then remounted it. I rebooted you and you have acted nice today. However, for all I know you have just been waiting for the most inconvenient time to do something else that will make it hard to enjoy you. I'll have you know that if I could afford a newer electronic love at full retail price and keep my unlimited data, you would have been gone a while ago. Yes I'm ready to move on. I have only 5 days left on my contract. I am nearly willing to lose unlimited data to the edge program just to sell you. With a fresh factory reset and no SD or Sim card, you won't remember me. You'll bring me enough money to pay a few monthly payments. So let this be a warning to you. Unless you want me to sell you to someone else who may not take so good care of you, I suggest you shape up. I'm not afraid to give you up. You have worked well most times but I need dependability. That seems to be something you're unable to provide. The End Isn't anthropomorphism fun?