and in that time Jesus was lodging in the Bethany. And he took his laptop, and with it he went to newegg.com and from there he ordered a Nokia N900. And, knowing the UPS driver would need an indirect signature, told the disciple that he loved to remain there and provide the signature.
However, the disciple that he loved was not prepared. Like the bridesmaids who lacked oil for there lamps, his disciple lacked food and water. He had to leave that place to search for something to eat and to find someone to go to the well. When he returned, his countenance fell upon seeing the slip from the UPS driver, indicating that he was unable to deliver Jesus's package.
Upon his return, Jesus saw his disciple's countenance and knew of what had transpired. "Fear not, my beloved. For as My Father in heaven knows all sins, and will make his forgiveness unto all humanity, so shall I forgive your failure. And as YHWH came to Moses in the desert, I shall come to the customer service center. And to the clerk I will find therein, I will present my official Roman ID card and the delivery slip. And your sin shall be thus redeemed, as through the Father all who believe shall have their sins redeemed."
And Jesus walked to the place he had foretold, and did as he described. And those who saw this, believed.