I've been single for quite some time now.. about a month..which is and isn't a long time given my previous circumstances..
However, For laughs I've been checking dating websites and well I always wondered why older guys dated younger girls.. I have always preferred to try with girls closer to my age.. however, well.. I suppose its different when your 18 looking for an 18 year old girlfriend..
I am not trying to generalize women here and I know that not *ALL* women are like this however, I have noted something very disturbing about women in my age group (I'm 22).
I find it amazing that some women are so.... I don't even know the right word..I would say picky... that doesn't quite cut it.. I want to say lazy which seems more accurate.. Greedy isn't a bad word in this case either..
Again, I am not talking about all women.. but, I have noticed a good bit out there.. who have nothing to offer in a relationship wanting a guy who already owns his own house, car, and has a "steady job". While the person making the demands says absolutely nothing about themself be it on craigs list or various dating websites. They will list their pay as under 20k a year..or have no income listed.
I believe age is a number I really do. I acknowledge that men and women evolved to look for certain things in a partner so it works out.. Women look for security... use to be in the form of a strong capable male. Now it is strong capable and well... stable as a whole.. Stable job stable mind ect ect. And these are good traits to look for in a potential mate! However, I also believe that if you are going to say flat out "if you don't have your own house don't bother talking to me!" (notice they don't wan a guy with a "home" which could be things other than a house) Well.. fairs fair, I understand that a 28 year old is more like to be in that mood to "settle down" have a home and have financial affluence..
I don't blame any woman for seeking out positive traits in a man. However, if your a woman at the age of 20, I really, really doubt your going to own your own house, car and be financially independent yourself.
Part of why this bothers me.. is I do realize that men look at a womans physical appearance to determine whether or not they want her. They want a woman who has certain physical traits because, its an indication of health and ultimately the ability to produce a baby. In a lot of ways its natural to be attracted to younger women because, they have more reproductive time. (note, I'm not trying to justify pedophilia here so don't even bring up that argument). And I won't knock a guy for dating a younger girl.. I'm considering it myself these days..
However, I am really wondering if these women do find the men they are looking for that own their own houses and cars... How these relationships are going to play out.. Financial security in exchange for babies. I wonder if then, the women will complain or cheat when they realize they are in a completely loveless relationship.. "Oh my god he was such a jerk, he treated me like an object!" should receive the response "well.. your the one who was looking for financial security, he is the one who was looking for sex.."
Now ladies, if you are A. in college. B. Have a job making enough money that you have something to put on the table. Or even C. just happened to fall for an older guy as is natural to some degree..
Then please this isn't directed at you in anyway. I personally am not interested in anyone without goals.. however, that doesn't mean they have to have already reached them..
I think a personal issue on this for me is that my last girlfriend and I, did break up in part because, we were never at the same place in life, always somewhere close but, not quite at the same place. While age is just a number.. I really don't believe all these girls are 8-10 years more mature than a guy their age meaning they need to go for the 28/30 year old crowd.
Again ladies if you are dating someone 8-10 years older than you this isn't aimed at you unless your requirements were "you better own a house!" and you had a min wage or no job at all...
heck, I could be totally wrong.. but, it still baffles me.
I mean.. if I had the idea these women had any ambition other than marrying up I wouldn't care.. but, they don't seem to be interested in bettering themselves.. just moving up in life...
With all that said.. I actually met a girl 4 years younger than myself and feel awkward talking to her, though we may end up catching a movie sooner or later.. luckily she isn't looking for a guy with his own house. I mean.. my last relationship ended in part due to stress..its hard to balance a home life, a work life, and school life.. However, for what it is worth my ex and I did love each other and still care about each other.. and if it had worked out then that would have been something to be incredibly proud of.. That we didn't have "perfect" circumstances and that we worked through things. Actually.. I take some pride in that even though the relationship failed..
Why face potential hardship, personal development and life lessons? If you can just grab an older guy with his own house, car and financial stability who already did all of the personal growth and development.. You get to skip the hard parts!
For the third time.. if you love a guy older than yourself.. and weren't thinking about what the size of his house or car is.. this isn't aimed at you..
However, For laughs I've been checking dating websites and well I always wondered why older guys dated younger girls.. I have always preferred to try with girls closer to my age.. however, well.. I suppose its different when your 18 looking for an 18 year old girlfriend..
I am not trying to generalize women here and I know that not *ALL* women are like this however, I have noted something very disturbing about women in my age group (I'm 22).
I find it amazing that some women are so.... I don't even know the right word..I would say picky... that doesn't quite cut it.. I want to say lazy which seems more accurate.. Greedy isn't a bad word in this case either..
Again, I am not talking about all women.. but, I have noticed a good bit out there.. who have nothing to offer in a relationship wanting a guy who already owns his own house, car, and has a "steady job". While the person making the demands says absolutely nothing about themself be it on craigs list or various dating websites. They will list their pay as under 20k a year..or have no income listed.
I believe age is a number I really do. I acknowledge that men and women evolved to look for certain things in a partner so it works out.. Women look for security... use to be in the form of a strong capable male. Now it is strong capable and well... stable as a whole.. Stable job stable mind ect ect. And these are good traits to look for in a potential mate! However, I also believe that if you are going to say flat out "if you don't have your own house don't bother talking to me!" (notice they don't wan a guy with a "home" which could be things other than a house) Well.. fairs fair, I understand that a 28 year old is more like to be in that mood to "settle down" have a home and have financial affluence..
I don't blame any woman for seeking out positive traits in a man. However, if your a woman at the age of 20, I really, really doubt your going to own your own house, car and be financially independent yourself.
Part of why this bothers me.. is I do realize that men look at a womans physical appearance to determine whether or not they want her. They want a woman who has certain physical traits because, its an indication of health and ultimately the ability to produce a baby. In a lot of ways its natural to be attracted to younger women because, they have more reproductive time. (note, I'm not trying to justify pedophilia here so don't even bring up that argument). And I won't knock a guy for dating a younger girl.. I'm considering it myself these days..
However, I am really wondering if these women do find the men they are looking for that own their own houses and cars... How these relationships are going to play out.. Financial security in exchange for babies. I wonder if then, the women will complain or cheat when they realize they are in a completely loveless relationship.. "Oh my god he was such a jerk, he treated me like an object!" should receive the response "well.. your the one who was looking for financial security, he is the one who was looking for sex.."
Now ladies, if you are A. in college. B. Have a job making enough money that you have something to put on the table. Or even C. just happened to fall for an older guy as is natural to some degree..
Then please this isn't directed at you in anyway. I personally am not interested in anyone without goals.. however, that doesn't mean they have to have already reached them..
I think a personal issue on this for me is that my last girlfriend and I, did break up in part because, we were never at the same place in life, always somewhere close but, not quite at the same place. While age is just a number.. I really don't believe all these girls are 8-10 years more mature than a guy their age meaning they need to go for the 28/30 year old crowd.
Again ladies if you are dating someone 8-10 years older than you this isn't aimed at you unless your requirements were "you better own a house!" and you had a min wage or no job at all...
heck, I could be totally wrong.. but, it still baffles me.
I mean.. if I had the idea these women had any ambition other than marrying up I wouldn't care.. but, they don't seem to be interested in bettering themselves.. just moving up in life...
With all that said.. I actually met a girl 4 years younger than myself and feel awkward talking to her, though we may end up catching a movie sooner or later.. luckily she isn't looking for a guy with his own house. I mean.. my last relationship ended in part due to stress..its hard to balance a home life, a work life, and school life.. However, for what it is worth my ex and I did love each other and still care about each other.. and if it had worked out then that would have been something to be incredibly proud of.. That we didn't have "perfect" circumstances and that we worked through things. Actually.. I take some pride in that even though the relationship failed..
Why face potential hardship, personal development and life lessons? If you can just grab an older guy with his own house, car and financial stability who already did all of the personal growth and development.. You get to skip the hard parts!
For the third time.. if you love a guy older than yourself.. and weren't thinking about what the size of his house or car is.. this isn't aimed at you..