I find it sort of ironic you have complaints about both Glocktalk and arfcom mods, since they are on opposite sides of the spectrum...
arfcom is like... a rowdy bar. Pretty much anything goes, especially in the "main" areas. But there is a crap-ton of info available if you look, and if you tread carefully you'll be fine- Don't ask questions until you've made an honest effort to find the answer, don't act like a know-it-all/prick, and it's fine a fine source of info and expertise that's hard to find elsewhere, IMO. If you act like a jerk, though, you'll be treated accordingly.
Glocktalk is a much more newb-friendly atmosphere, and is modded sort of like an upscale cafe... They will frown on you for little things sometimes, that's true... I got "dinged" once for posting a link to that "kids" book with Sam Jackson reading "Go the F to sleep." But they are trying to have a "family friendly" forum there. Mercifully, there are some private sub-forums where you can cut loose more, so those can be nice hang-outs once you've been around a little bit and have made a few friends.
The other sites you mention I like too, though, so no objections here. (I haven't checked out the CO one, however.) Zombiesquad is decent also. Smaller population, but pretty smack-**** free, and they seem to keep a decent balance- They'll warn you first, and cut you some slack before they reel you back in.