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Galaxy S3 Watering Hole

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And Thank God For That
 
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The "Lady-friend saga"

I honestly feel like crying right now. Seriously. I was on the verge of it a bit earlier today in front of a bunch of people. I have somehow managed to stifle things back, buts its work to do so. I wonder if I may be some kind of feeler or something. I don't know. My head is mush right now.

Every once in a while someone comes into my life that I would label as "rare" Often times these rare people don't stay in my life too long. And yet another case is unfolding right now. Its a girl. Not even someone I can have, I suppose, but still. There is something about her. Perhaps its because when interacting with her, I see parts of myself. I lose track of time often while talking one on one with her. There has been times I have cracked my elbow on something, and shortly there after, she would smash her finger. She once told me that every time I hurt myself, she does the same. I said that was spooky. I guess ghosts don't have nothing to do with it, just awkwardness. Or something. I don't know.

But today she dropped the bombshell and confirmed what has been nagging me in the back of my mind for a while. She is leaving. I had always used the analogy of a binary neutron star system, whereas either the two stars crash into each other, or one gets ejected from the system. Guess I was right about this. She is ejecting from the system.

As soon as this confirmation came from her mouth, I went silent. I went on about my business. Wrecked. Sad. About what looks like loosing yet another person whom I could actually call a friend. It does look like this move is going to better for her. She will be working up the street from me, which is cool, but I don't want to encroach on her, looking like some desperate loaner trying to "make" a friend. I am not even sure she sees me this way, hell, she is in a relationship with someone else. I am perfectly able to accept this fact. I understand she will not see me in any other light other then a friend. That's okay.

But this is all new territory for me. I am Mr socially awkward. I do know she is a grown woman who can make the choice of who to be friends with.

Gee, I manage to get to the point of actually being able to talk to someone and they bolt. This seems to be a common theme for me. Someone enters my life and I actually like them, and they bolt, never mind the fact that they don't reciprocate. No wonder I am hesitant to make friends, let alone lady friends.

While walking around, I ran into a manager, she asked how I was. And I spilled the beans. Nearly tearing up in the process. I said I did not know what to do, that I did not even know if she liked me back as a friend. I said I pretty much kept this to myself because I did not know how to handle this situation. I did not want to make it sound like I was trying to angle my way into her pants or what not. That I did not want to cause a problem. Either at work, or away from work.

Perhaps I should just ask my lady friend in question? Perhaps I should just tell her I am basically socially crippled and I have no idea what I am doing, that I am not good at these types of interactions. Perhaps I should ask her to do me a favor and tell me to leave her alone, that she don't want the attention or be friends or what not. But that would probably cause an issue.

I don't know.

On my way out, I stopped to talk to my lady friend and talked to her a bit about it. I made the comment, which, I guess it the best I could do, "I hope we can stay in contact." She said sure. Or yes. Or something to that tune. I guess there is not much more I can do. Wish her luck and hope she calls, or texts, or return mine.

Sorry for the whinny post :( I just needed to vent.

EDIT. It would have made more sense to me to fall into those cocoburs today then the other day.
 
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