Need some personal advice about a job

[GatorfanDroid]

I got offered a fun job / change of pace life on Friday about working down in Yosemite National Park for a while and possible long term commitment. It is different then city life jobs your work is customer service and providing it people who visit the parks in a gift , food service or hotel etc.

My issue do I take this job and break up with a gal who I've been dating almost 2 years now since 2010 ish. We've had our ups and down threw the months. If i was to go foward I just don't know what I would do.

My other option is from her standpoint is enlisting into the US Navy which I'm almost there ( 14 pounds or 3% body fat and I'm in) I'm just not sure that life is for me even though I have thought about doing but in my late 20's I'm not to sure. I wanna be out enjoying life and in the great out doors. This job offer can let me do that year around, stable income , my own place sort of and benefits after a year. The lady wants me to join for all descent reason of the Military, good pay, full benefits and college fun after service.

I've tried to tell her that I wasn't sure if that life is for me and she flipped basically the last time I told so it would be a bad break up.

It is just a tough choice to make going forward with this job opportunity to live in a great National park... Any offer up advice for me?

 

[RockingDayo]

This is a hard question to answer for you without knowing all the little details, so I will just give you advice based on my own experience.

Never choose big lifestyle choices because of a girlfriend. Do what you want to do and if she's not supportive then maybe she's not the best choice for you.

 

[GatorfanDroid]

Thanks RockingDayo,
It's just hard to give up on a relationship based on a job but again. It's all about taking the job because in the I would be happy in the National park system for a very long time. As in the Military I'm not sure how long I would wanna stay in for.

 

[Trent Reznor]

Thanks RockingDayo,
It's just hard to give up on a relationship based on a job but again. It's all about taking the job because in the I would be happy in the National park system for a very long time. As in the Military I'm not sure how long I would wanna stay in for.

I think this post answers your question. Don't ever do you anything because someone else wants you to. You have to make and follow your own path If she can't support/understand that... she's probably not the one.

Good luck with your choice.

 

[ocnbrze]

i have to agree with this. you have to weigh what is best for you. will you be happy being in the military? trust me if you hate your job, you will never be happy. and this will translate into your personal life with your girlfriend. i know that this is a tuff life changing decision, but you have to start with yourself and then look outward from there.

if your girlfriend does not support you then that is her loss and shows you something about her.

this is just my .02, but this is your choice to make......good luck.

 

[DragonSlayer95]

I have to agree with the above posts

And add my .02

You should do what makes you happy, not what someone else wants you to do and not be 100% sure if that's what you want or not.

Bottom line, if she's not there to support your decisions and be behind you no matter what. Well I hate to say it, but maybe it's worth thinking things over with her.

Not trying to influence your decision, just some food for thought.

Follow what your heart tells you, not someone else.

 

[Gmash]

You could join the military, and then you might still break up. Then you are stuck. Military life means possibly spending a lot of time apart, which is not good for what sounds like an already fragile relationship. If she decides to leave you over not choosing the career path she wants for you, then sad to say, it will probably be something else down the road. The military is not just a job, it is a whole lifestyle, and if you are not 100% committed, don't do it. You never know, she might still come around if you make the other choice. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[rabidhunter]

Look at it this way, if she truly loved you, she would make it work. If you took the job, she would support you and wouldn't end your relationship becuase of distance. You have to ask yourself, where is the relationship heading? Is it heading toward marriage?

What's keeping you in the relationship?

 

[Atma]

I would kill (almost) for a job in a national park like that. I would say the Navy would be good with the Veteran's benefits. I would say that but I'm not sure its worth it anymore just for the benefits. If you just want to serve then yes, but there are too many cuts to expect them to take care of you after you get out.

As for the girlfriend, breaking up and broken hearts aren't easy, but you have to do what's best for your future, not hers.

 

[MoodyBlues]

@GatorfanDroid, I have a somewhat different take on it than the other replies I've read.

If your relationship with your girlfriend is true and strong and meaningful, I don't see why ending it is the only solution [if you take the Yosemite job]. From your avatar I assumed you were here in California, but then noticed your location is actually Wisconsin. Okay, so I understand that if you took the job you'd be moving to a different state...but, it's CALIFORNIA for heaven's sake! Wouldn't your girlfriend want to move with you? I mean it's not like being sent to some third world country without indoor plumbing, you know?

Even if she's ambivalent about moving, that may change down the road.

And if she's not interested, then it's time to start questioning just how committed she is to the relationship.

As for joining the military, I feel VERY strongly that that must be your decision, and yours alone. Life in the military is not for everyone. It can be extremely fulfilling, but it can also be physically and emotionally challenging. As a disabled Air Force veteran's spouse, and as the best friend of a disabled, retired Marine, I can say that there are many pluses to being in the military, including opportunities for education, health care, buying a house, etc. But the trade off is that you may be deployed to a war zone, you may be injured (as my husband was) or suffer a life-changing health problem (as my best friend did), or may lose your life (as my best friend's son, who was in the Army, did).

Enlisting is not something that should be done on a whim, or without thoroughly thinking it through. DO NOT DO IT because you're being pressured by anyone.

 

[TJGoSurf]

Let me take the unpopular route here. Women do come and go. But your own personal accomplishments are you own. I cannot discourage any man from joining the military. Ladies is another long story. PM me for details.

There is some great training in the Navy. You don't sound like the athletic type, nothing wrong with that, so you're looking at a good branch. Just a side note when I was at Parris Island doing my final PFT I did 33 pull ups my drill instructor said, "Should have done 40." I think 7 was the minimum amount needed to pass.

What MOS are you looking at?

 

[GatorfanDroid]

thanks for you all your response guys!
I took some great deal of time yesterday and this am of really thinking it over and what not. I'm still gonna go the military route. It is a great chance for me career wise and I can always leave after my first 4 years if I don't like and the gal would be ok with it. she just wants me to have a good life and possible more education money if I chose to higher education when I get out of the service.
I went and took the pro and cons from the park job and Military and to me honesty guys the Military seems a whole lot better for later on in life. I do see that this girl and I getting married (love her that much and I would put the park stuff on hold until I get out of the service it will be there out in the civilian world as long as it can. My opportunities for the military would happen for long and I need take them right now.
Again I think the Military is gonna be best for me too. I've tried to enlist before but got side track of other things in life like the park and now that I'm like 95% there I should just follow threw suck it up for 4 years and take it from there. With the park thing is was just at temptation because its an actual hobby I truly enjoy doing. But in the end I need to find a career the military can do just that.


finally thanks for all your response guys really helpful.

 

[MoodyBlues]

I'm still gonna go the military route. It is a great chance for me career wise and I can always leave after my first 4 years if I don't like

Do you have any idea what a LONG four years that would be?

Again I think the Military is gonna be best for me too. I've tried to enlist before but got side track of other things in life like the park and now that I'm like 95% there I should just follow threw suck it up for 4 years and take it from there. With the park thing is was just at temptation because its an actual hobby I truly enjoy doing. But in the end I need to find a career the military can do just that.

You know what I think? I think you're way too unsure about this. If you truly had the drive to be in the military, the enthusiasm and motivation, you wouldn't be thinking in terms of sucking it up for four years. Are you REALLY sure you're ready to make this commitment?

 

[rabidhunter]

MoodyBlues is right.

You should be very sure you're ready to make that commitment. Military life isn't for everyone. I should know. I've spent four years in the Marines and I've seen it break a few people, good people who just couldn't hack it.

I did a lot of stuff while I was in. I saw the world, flew on helicopters, rode on LCAC's, drove trucks in the desert. I did a lot of growing up while in the military and I appreciated it a lot. It taught me a lot of important lessons like how good we have it in America. Gave me a perspective.

That being said, if you aren't 100% sure you can hack it, don't do it. I've seen it mess people's lives up pretty bad because they couldn't hack it.

 

[Atma]

If the military is your choice, good luck to you. Stay in for 20 years if you can. Get a nice pension and then get another job when you get out.

On the other hand, you say you were drawn to the park job because its a hobby you truly enjoy doing. I would love to go to work everyday doing something I truly enjoy. I'm sure millions of people would.

Like has been mentioned, you should go in the military with the attitude its something you want to do, not something you have to suck up. I was in the Navy. Its not a job you can just walk away from if you don't like it. They frown on AWOL and desertion in the military.

Also, be sure your girlfriend understands, you could be at sea a long time on deployment without seeing her.

Whatever you decide, good luck with your future.

 

[sfbloodbrother]

This is a hard question to answer for you without knowing all the little details, so I will just give you advice based on my own experience.

Never choose big lifestyle choices because of a girlfriend. Do what you want to do and if she's not supportive then maybe she's not the best choice for you.

I have to agree, don't join because she wants you too, only join because you really want to. If your dream is working for the park, and not the Navy, then by all means live your dreams.. If you two are meant to be, she would understand, and go with you to the park.

 

[mikedt]

@GatorfanDroid, I have a somewhat different take on it than the other replies I've read.

If your relationship with your girlfriend is true and strong and meaningful, I don't see why ending it is the only solution [if you take the Yosemite job]. From your avatar I assumed you were here in California, but then noticed your location is actually Wisconsin. Okay, so I understand that if you took the job you'd be moving to a different state...but, it's CALIFORNIA for heaven's sake! Wouldn't your girlfriend want to move with you? I mean it's not like being sent to some third world country without indoor plumbing, you know?

<----...if I was in L. A... California dreamin' on such a winter's day.... :musicus: