Cellphones as collars.

[Snow_Fox]

I don't know if anyone else out there feels the way I do..

However, today I had a customer ask me about the phones which support gps functions so you can see where your child is at all times.

I could not say anything professionally however, I wanted to tell her that, if she doesn't trust her daughter (who seemed to be around 10), then her daughter should not be going out alone.

I have never been close to my parents, and I often disagree with them.. However, one thing I firmly agree with them about is the believe that if you need a gps in your kids car because, you can't trust them to go where they claim they are going, then they do not need a car.

The cellphone situation is very similar.. If you can't trust your kid to go where they are suppose to.. they don't need to be going out.

I absolutely detest people using technology as a collar for their children. I do not have children myself.. so I suppose it is easier for me to say this without worrying if my kid could be at any time abducted...

I would like the opinions of more of you out there. I know a lot of people are a fan of these things otherwise it wouldn't exist.. However, I am glad my parents never forced me to have a gps tracking system on my phone, put a limiter on my car or tracked me.. Now they did always tell me to call them anytime I went anywhere however, in all fairness they always call eachother before going to the store, leaving work ect for safety reasons. (IE if one of them got in an accident on the way home from work, the other would know something is up when the other person didn't arrive within some reasonable timeframe).

 

[330D]

Those who are repressed only push back harder. Talk to your kids. Be a role model. Teach them values. Raise them to be good people and they won't need leashes. They will make the right decisions. Nobody does this anymore. They put their kids in front of a tv and that teaches them their values.

 

[Snow_Fox]

Like I said.. i was never close to my parents... but, we at least had the understanding..

If you can't be trusted.. You don't *deserve* a car. If your gunna lie to us about where you are.. you don't get the privilege of driving..at all.

gotta respect them for that.. I hate the idea of cellphones being used as collars.. much less cars with gps and limiters ect..

 

[330D]

I guess I was trying to agree with you but making a little point at the same time... Don't agree with it, it's just like my tv as a babysitter idea. I know people have different kinds of relationships with their parents, and that it takes all kinds, but cellphone=collar=bad idea. IMO
Like you said, if you can't trust the kid why do you give them the freedom of a cellphone or a car to begin with?

 

[Snow_Fox]

I suppose it all stems from the same mentality..

Set kinds infront of tv so you don't have to deal with them..

Put programs on their computer to make sure they "don't get into trouble".

Rig their car up to "make sure they are ok".

All while never actually having to be around your child!

I really think many parents are guilty for not really spending time with their kids.. I know growing up my parents only wanted to be around us if we were doing what *they* wanted. This was especially true the older we got..

There wasn't anything we really enjoyed doing as a family..

But, they at least never resorted to rigging up cars ect.. My parents and I don't always see eye to eye.. but they at least taught me one basic rule of life.. You know what is expected and there is no reason in the world to fall short of that.

I can remember sometimes being alienated from my peers because, I refused to tell my parents "white lies" to go see a movie or something like that.. But, I know if I was ever caught breaking the rules or lying.. it would be the end of any freedom I had.

I actually detest that parents are never held accountable to children. If a child messes up, it must answer to parents.. However, when parents screw up.. "woops too bad". It annoys me most when parents screw up, realize they screwed up and have no attempt to make amends.. or even give a sincere apology.. I hate the hubris of parents who believe they are 100% right all the time..

Sorry if I offended any parents out there.. I am not trying to generalize all parents.. however, I have seen sooo many who have such huge undeserved ego's it is mind boggling.

*Edit*

The point I am trying to make is just because it is your child, that does not mean you should constantly look down upon them which is what many parents I have noticed seem to do.

I think this mentality is what leads to limiters on cars, gps in cell phones and putting the kids in front of the tv.. All of it is a form of parenting without having to be around your kid.. So naturally it is easy to look down upon them, when you are never there and only concerned with making sure they don't screw up.

 

[bluenova]

It's so weird you lot talking about giving your kids cars, allowing them to drive . On this side of the pond people are old enough to drive when they are an adult (17 or 18 depending on the country) and no longer need parental supervision and are solely responsible for their own actions. Cars are potential deadly weapons and should not be in the hands of a child. Kids ride push bikes here .

My daughter isn't old enough yet to be going out on her own but when she is I suspect she will have a phone with something like Wavesecure on it. I wouldn't be using it to know whether she's getting into mischief, but if she was out longer than she was supposed to be we would be able to check where she is just to make sure she is ok.

When I was a child obviously none of us had mobile phones, we would go out all day riding our bikes and our parents would have no idea where we were if anything was to happen. Whilst I value that freedom and will allow my daughter the same freedom I think it's good to have a safety net, just in case.

 

[mpw]

I wonder if you were selling cars and not phones what your attitude would be to somebody enquiring as to whether the car had airbags, to ensure their child's safety?

Unless there's a lot more to the enquiry than was put in the original post, I think the OP is over-reacting.

Yes some parents aren't very good, and none are perfect, but is worrying about their safety really the worst a parent could do?

 

[Snow_Fox]

@bluenova, I actually didn't drive until I was 18. I never had grades and I was never concerned about it. My brother is 17 and due to the regulations on my state he *may* be able to drive by the end of this summer. It is getting more difficult over here to get a license.

And don't misunderstand me, I do see the "safety" side of the issue as well however, the one *major* problem I have with your point is, my parents gave me a cellphone so I could contact them. If I wasn't home on time, I had better call and explain why. If i was changing my plan I had better call and explain what was going on. It was all for reasons of safety yes, and in some ways it was a "gps" of its on.. However, the difference is they knew where I was going and what the plan was.. They weren't just looking on a computer wondering why I was 5 miles away from where I was suppose to be.

@MPW airbags don't show the location of you child anytime you get on a computer.

And I'm sorry but, I feel somewhere I failed to express some thoughts properly.

I think the major issue for me is this. If your child isn't responsible then all the safety net protection in the world isn't going to save them.

Abduct a child? toss the cellphone on a bus by the time the parents figure out whats going on.. your in cuba.

I mean the girl I am walking about was 10 years old maybe.. I don't see why a 10 year old needs a cellphone in the first place, much less a cellphone with gps tracking on it.

I think my point is, in some ways these "safety" nets are just a false sense of security.. and Yes.. I do blame parents for using "safety nets" in lue of teaching their children how to be safe.

*EDIT* using your logic, why not set up gps to follow your spouse around as well? shouldn't your spouse be just as protected as your children?

 

[mpw]

 

[Snow_Fox]

And neither does a GPS enabled mobile phone. It

 

[bluenova]

And don't misunderstand me, I do see the "safety" side of the issue as well however, the one *major* problem I have with your point is, my parents gave me a cellphone so I could contact them. If I wasn't home on time, I had better call and explain why. If i was changing my plan I had better call and explain what was going on. It was all for reasons of safety yes, and in some ways it was a "gps" of its on.. However, the difference is they knew where I was going and what the plan was.. They weren't just looking on a computer wondering why I was 5 miles away from where I was suppose to be.

I think you mis-understood me. That's exactly how I would expect it to work with our daughter when she's a bit older. I would expect her to call if she was not going to make it back at the time we agreed. But if for some reason she didn't call and we tried calling her and got no response we would then have the ability to check her phone to see where it was and go and find it. So it's not a case of monitoring her movements but more of a case of when something does go wrong there is a safety net in place.

 

[mpw]

unless there is some misunderstanding.. that is the point of the gps enabled phone.. so the parent can see where the child is 24/7

 

[Roze]

I don't have kids of my own, but I have five nieces and nephews that I have helped raised. We shouldn't NEED kids to have GPS phones...or phones in general. Yet, in the society we are living in today, safety is a big concern. Especially when you hear stories in the news where the children get kidnapped, raped and then murdered...I would want that safety net there. Yes, the kidnapper CAN throw the phone on the bus but then...they might not, you don't know.

Another example that was not mentioned here and I think is a good case why a kid would need GPS. If a kid has special needs, like autism, then I'd say the kid should have a GPS phone with him/her. In my local paper, where a kid (5/6 years old) with autism was playing on his front yard, wandered off and got lost in a field/forest near his home and died of hypothermia (this happened in the winter). So if the kid had a GPS phone...his parents might have been able to find him and he might still be alive today. If something bad happened and you knew that had you done something that might have changed the event...wouldn't you? Sometimes it's better to be proactive.

Also, you need to be in an area with good reception for the GPS to work. If you're in a 'dead' area, the phone becomes useless....just my $0.02

-Roze-

 

[i VTAK]

My kid is currently 4, when I get a new phone in 2 years he may get my Hero. He's already very good with technology so we'll see if he can handle it before it's given to him. If he does get it, I plan on having the GPS tracking on it. Not because I don't trust him (at age 6 he's not going anywhere without a responsible adult anyways), but for the safety net reason others have stated.

 

[3devious]

I think you mis-understood me. That's exactly how I would expect it to work with our daughter when she's a bit older. I would expect her to call if she was not going to make it back at the time we agreed. But if for some reason she didn't call and we tried calling her and got no response we would then have the ability to check her phone to see where it was and go and find it. So it's not a case of monitoring her movements but more of a case of when something does go wrong there is a safety net in place.

+1
I don't have kids but I begged my husband to let me put him on my cell phone plan way before we got married. Lots of people acused me of being controlling and all of that. I don't care what people think. I'd rather have someone think that I am some posessive psycho than be tormented by visions of him being in a ditch somewhere dying when he's two hours late to be meeting me.

I know that he can be bleeding to death in a ditch somewhere with the phone carelessly forgotten on the dresser, but at least I got him a tool that he could use in case of an emergency. If I had kids, I would have gotten them phones and wanted to be able to locate them via GPS in case I'm given cause to worry about them. It may not protect them, but it might.

I've never expected my husband to check in and I doubt that I would be stalking my kids, either. It isn't about not trusting the person, you just want to be able to help them as much as a normal person can if something happens.

 

[Snow_Fox]

For what it is worth, I do feel there is a difference between it being something you do for your whole family vs something you do only for your children.

 

[Roze]

I do not have children myself.. so I suppose it is easier for me to say this without worrying if my kid could be at any time abducted...

lol, yes...wait until you have some kids and then get back to us on this