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Ageless Stranger

Android Enthusiast
Dec 2, 2008
699
49
I don't think we have one, so here goes.

A delivery man breaks down on the interstate, and flags down Paddy and says to him "I have 6 monkeys in the back, I will give you $100 if you take them to the zoo for me". Well, Paddy agrees and two hours later the delivery guy sees Paddy driving in the opposite direction with the monkeys still in the back. So he flags Paddy down and says "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo", Paddy replies "I did but I had 30 bucks left over so Im taking them to the movies".
 
I don't think we have one, so here goes.

A delivery man breaks down on the interstate, and flags down Paddy and says to him "I have 6 monkeys in the back, I will give you $100 if you take them to the zoo for me". Well, Paddy agrees and two hours later the delivery guy sees Paddy driving in the opposite direction with the monkeys still in the back. So he flags Paddy down and says "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo", Paddy replies "I did but I had 30 bucks left over so Im taking them to the movies".
facepalm.jpg

:p
 
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经济危机缴闹得全球天翻地覆的,当然,对于杭州店面装修这些情况,其实米兰也在第一时间做出了反映。众设计师们在09年春夏的设计中,全都故意将领口开低,再开低。为什么?也许他们都认为,男人扣子最近系得太严了吧!

<translated>
Why? Maybe they think, the recent Department of Man buttons too strict a bar!
</translated>

They have a department of man buttons?
 
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Standard Operating Procedure..........Every one is a rip-off; I'll let ya' know in the highly unlikely event I ever come up with an original.:p
In one form or another, most have been around forever........
A shiny nickle to any of my friends who can tell me the original source for any one of the rip-offs.

First one easy, (until I learn better):


"I tellya..........I know I'm ugly.

When Halloween comes around, kids knock on my door.

I open it up, they reach in their bags, and they hand me candy.
 
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Just because you are "old" doesn't necessarily make you "stupid"!!

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the door of the American Legion Post. A ragged, old, retired Navy Chief was standing near its edge with a fishing line in the puddle.

A curious young Air Force fighter pilot, recently discharged, came over to him and asked what he was doing.

"Fishing," the old Chief simply said.

Poor old fool, the Air Force officer thought to himself, and he invited the old Navy Chief into the bar for a drink.

Since he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the haughty fighter pilot asked, "And how many have you caught today?"

"Well, you're number ten," the old Chief answered. “2 Air Force, 3 Army, 5 Marines.”

:D
 
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And P.S.

Having freely said everything I intend to post is stolen, unless otherwise indicated.........

Please do claim authorship when appropriate; We should know, and you deserve to let us know!:)

Oh yes, please do. I sometimes think all the original thoughts have been used up. :)

But it's quite refreshing when one comes along. A bit like a new and catchy song tune.
 
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I always have one eye open for jokes I can hand to my 7 year old nephew. He's been running around for weeks now, "torturing" all of us with his little joke book.

I think I can get this one past his mother:

A penguin waddles into the police station, she's all excited.
"Officer, you gotta' help me find my husband, he's missing!"

OK, calm down.........First of all, what does he look like?

My sister in law won't go for this next one......(But I might tell it to him anyway, I'm "That" Uncle.):D


A drunk comes stumbling out of a bar, he flags down a cab.
He shuffles over, sticks his head in the passenger side window, and asks the driver:

"Hey, you got room in the front seat for two six packs, and a large pizza?"
"Of course", said the driver.
"BBlluaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagghhhhhh":spitoutdroid::spitoutdroid::spitoutdroid:


I'm sure I can sink much lower, :rolleyes:at some point they will all need to go behind spoilers.:D
 
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one. I just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really?" said Charles. "Now, that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little coward!"

:D
 
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