See I was having all of these problems and decided within the first day or two to constantly recycle the battery, set Advanced Task Killer to moderate auto kill and to have the bluetooth, gps, mobile and wifi widgets on my main screen.
Since then I use my phone heavily all day every day and only charge it on the 20min drive to work.
If I actually let it fully charge I get around 2 days of battery with moderate use, at least 24 hours with heavy use.
Oh, I also have live backgrounds (substrate is the coolest set of live backgrounds with the least battery usage) running and am usually listen to music with the engadget, reddit and phandroid widgets constantly updating.
My own advice, make sure you sign out of facebook/peep/twitter (if you don't use them), and to go a step further shut down all auto updates before signing out just for good measure
Other settings:
Screen brightness set to 50% (though at full brightness i can see iPhags crying over the INCREDIBLE screen)
Low update frequency for all apps
I keep 3G off unless using the internet
I use Timerrific to manage a bunch of stuff
-at 1am on weekdays my phone automatically goes into airplane mode and comes out at 7am
-at 9am it goes into silence and turns the brightness all the way down and at 6pm goes back to normal on weekdays
-at 7pm on weekdays (when i get home) if 3G is on it turns off and connects to WiFi