I read recently that most companies deliberately employ one useless, incompetent, talentless idiot, just to boost office morale, focus the other...
A bloke wakes up in hospital after a car accident.
He helps himself to some raisins from a bowl, just as his wife comes in.
"Oh babe you're...
BBC News: An ultra-light plane has crashed into a Ferris wheel in a village north of Sydney, trapping four people, Australian officials say.
I couldnt believe it earlier when I somehow managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
With hindsight,they were pretty stupid names to...
There's a poster outside my local supermarket that says,
'Baby Retailer Of The Year 2011'.
They never have any out on the shelves. :p
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if the town architects had just made their towns big enough for...
I got kicked out of the dentist for using all the nitrous oxide.
Don't care, I had the last laugh. ;)
I just asked the missus if she...
I got a new TV the other day and on the box it said
'BUILT IN ANTENNA'.
Anyone know where Antenna is?
Also is Antenna a town, a city, a country?...
My mate's dog has been trained to sniff drugs.
It's brilliant, he can even roll his own joint :eek:
I made a glue cake for the children's party...
Sorry if I've offended you. That's not my intention.
One especially for the ladies:
I saved my girlfriendss phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'.
Whenever she calls and I'm not around my wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger....
Just created my first website!
Quite an achievement for an Arachnophobic!
C3PO was found dead earlier to-day
May he Rust In Peace ;)
My wife is very religious.
She makes burnt offerings every evening.
At work today this OAP costumer kept calling me duck
I thought to myself,...
Maw & Paw was real proud of the triplets,
Yup, Cletus, Bubba and Daisy-May were 3 fine lookin' kids :rolleyes:
Inappropriate Hide: Mod Edit
A fat chick got into my taxi today.
"Town please," she smiled. "I've got a date!"
"Going somewhere nice?" I asked.
"Yes," she giggled. "He's...
I have two hearing aids, an artificial hip, a pacemaker and false teeth.
I left grandma's will reading feeling she was having the last laugh. :p...
Japanese banks have been hit almost as hard as American banks
The Origami Bank has folded
The Sumo Bank has gone belly-up
Bonsai Bank plans to...
I'm making a show about two detectives who solve crimes over the phone.
Star Key and Hash
For Sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet...
I successfully negotiated the release of two workers being held hostage in Pizza Hut.
I used a Buy One Get One Free voucher. ;)
Like father like son ;)