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ADD/ADHD is a label for kids....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Gritwater, Nov 22, 2010.

  1. Gritwater

    Thread Starter

    Nov 3, 2010
    ....who's parents are looking for a way to deflect blame off of poor parenting. What the kid needs is discipline, not accommodations in the class that allows them to continue to disrupt the other 25 kids in the room.



  2. lrv

    lrv Well-Known Member

    Nov 20, 2010
    Wow! Did you know bipolar wasn't recognized as a illness until the early part of the decade? Why can't ADD/ADHD be recognized?

    I'll agree that it's over-diagnosed, but to say it's not an illness is completely ignorant.
  3. Chaznsc

    Chaznsc Well-Known Member

    Jun 11, 2010

    This is over-diagnosed, but you are 100 percent off on your thread. ADD is as real as diabetes.
  4. VegasOnAcid

    VegasOnAcid Well-Known Member

    May 29, 2010
    As others are saying.. It is very real. I dont really agree with putting kids on a daily med so early in life tho as so many parents and doctors are so quick to do.
  5. byteware

    byteware Well-Known Member

    Feb 18, 2010
    Application Developer
    So, in your opinion, I'm a bad parent with one child, but a great parent with my other two. I don't discipline one child enough, but I discipline my OTHER TWO children just the right amount.

    The fact that she was tested and her attention span was measured using a test doesn't matter.

    And now that she's been on vyvanse the last two months... it's not that the medication is affecting her attention span.... I'm just parenting her better like I already did my other two children... Oh yeah, I'm also disciplining her more too... like I already have my other two children.

    Thank you for showing me that her medicine isn't affecting her in the slightest... it's just that I was being a horrible, non-disciplinary parent to that 1 of my 3 children.

    NightAngel79, Vihzel and NYCHitman1 like this.
  6. i have adhd have since i was around 7 (supposedly). granted im only 20 so I dont have too much say in this matter. but it is very real and just as annoying as it was as a kid. I am constanly fidgeting or getting and and walking, skipping running jumping to my destination just because I need to be moving doing something. Alot of the times at work Ill be going to help a customer and go out back to grab them a phone, but notice a lights on that isnt normally, I go to look why and shut it off, forgot why I came back in the first place head back out to ask the customer what phone they wanted to see. Othertimes ill be in a conversation and forget where the sentence was going because something out of the corner of my eye just moved. I try my hardest to mask my adhd as a very bubbly personality at work but theres certain things I cant just shrug off and its exrtemely annoying especially knowing that it is costing me hundreds if not thousands of dollars a month since i get paid off commision.

    For me medicine is not the answer, I am very much against man made medications/drugs etc...

    I do agree that it is diagnosed/ thrown around way to often now a day and most kids dont have ADHD/ADD they are just being kids more than anything.
  7. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead

    Oct 29, 2009
    Right Behind You
    ADD and ADHD is most definitely a real problem and has nothing to do with parenting. It is a chemical issue typically due to too much or not enough of specific chemicals in the brain.

    Is it over diagnosed? Absolutely.

    Can it be "cured" with things besides pumping a kid full of other chemicals? Sure. I have two friends that have kids with ADD/ADHD and both have been able to change their kids behavior with a diet change instead of meds. Taking out specific food coloring and switching to organic for other products solved the problems they had. No discipline change was needed.

    Saying that it is just a discipline problem is like saying that depressed people should just cheer up or that certain allergies don't exist (I remember a guy in the news saying that peanut allergies don't exist). Too much of one chemical or not enough of the other can create havoc in the human body. Denying the existence of something like this can have deadly consequences.
  8. NYCHitman1

    NYCHitman1 Gun for Hire

    Oct 16, 2009
    Long Island, NY
    I'm allergic to seafood :(

    Back on topic, ADHD/ADD does exist and is a problem. It's also unfortunate b/c it's often perceived as nothing but kids being kids. So not true. A good friend of mine has issues till this day has issues maintaining attention to a specific task or conversation for an extended period of time. There are times where we'll be talking and he'll just walk away from me completely forgetting that we were just talking.
  9. alleycat58

    alleycat58 Member

    Nov 9, 2010
    Pittsburgh, PA
    The funny thing is, growing up I always knew something was wrong with me. I never caused trouble, I never disrupted a classroom, but I was just an "average" student dispite being in the Gifted and Talented program. Certain things would just transfix me and I wouldn't be able to pull myself away from them, no matter what I did. But other times I couldn't concentrate on a subject to save my life.

    I WISH I had been diagnosed as a child. I don't think medication was the answer for me as a child, but knowing that I had special needs from other kids could have saved my parents and teachers a lot of wasted energy and it would have made my life a lot easier as well, just knowing what the problem was and working on lifestyle changes to fix it.

    I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 27 years old. It nearly cost me everything I had in life - my relationship, my career, everything. It was very surreal for me because at one point in my life, I felt like you, that it was just a label for kids that the teachers decided they didn't want to deal with.
  10. IOWA

    IOWA Mr. Logic Pants

    Dec 2, 2009
    Network Admin
    Diet change (and lifestyle) has also been known to "resolve" (notice they won't say cure, there's no money to be made if they say it CURE'S it) diabetes as well.
  11. Snow_Fox

    Snow_Fox Well-Known Member

    Mar 31, 2010
    I.. at 21 years old, was freaking out. I was failing again.

    Why not? what have I ever done differently in life besides fail?

    Sitting there freaking out because, I knew if I didn't call my mom and ask her to get let me tested for A.D.D. I was only going to do what I've done my entire life. Fail.

    I was so scared she was going to freak out on me.. She didn't.. I got tested and now I am on medication for it.

    For over 20 years, my parents wouldn't hesitate to discipline me.. sure I could sit in class and keep myself busy, I wasn't interrupting anyone or doing anything wrong..

    However, even playing video games.. I can't sit there and just play a game..

    If the video game requires constant attention to keep from dying.. great I can play..

    If the video game has any "free wander" aspects to it, I can't sit there and play it. Even in runescape, I can't pay attention.. sure I would play the game for hours at a time.. but, if you watched me, I was constantly shifting in game.. doing something different never sticking with anything.

    I *Love* computer science.. even in computer science classes, where I want to pay attention so much I can't begin to describe it.. I was side tracked.. unable to focus.

    Growing up I remember, other kids use to make fun of me because, I would hop topics so quickly...I would be too random or spastic for them. (Not that I was physically spastic just mentally).

    Even now, I need medication to get things done..

    I've for a while now known I have trouble paying attention but, I would have never said I have A.D.D. until recently.

    It was while reading over an article talking about procrastination saying it may be a symptom of A.D.D. did I really sit back and go "WOAH WAIT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH".

    The article stated people with A.D.D. will procrastinate with everything. Why? just like in the video games I play.. Having a dire situation is a means of forcing yourself to pay attention just long enough to get whatever it is that needs to be done, done.

    Go ahead, disagree. Say I'm full of crap or a lier. Say "You just weren't raised well". Hell go ahead and attack me if you don't believe me. You can say "Your lazy" or "unmotivated" or "you just don't care".

    Why not.. everyone else in my life has told me the same crap..

    I won't deny that A.D.D. is something that is over diagnosed. A lot of parents love medically controlling their children.

    I would imagine in a lot of cases where a child can't behave it is just a lack of discipline..

    But, I'm living on the other end of the issue.

    I have always been chided for my grades, always told I would never go anywhere in life if I didn't bring them up. I was always told thats how you end up "digging ditches". Essentially I was told I was worthless.

    My parents never cared except when they report card came in. I was always well behaved so what did they care?

    Well.. now i'm in college.. I am struggling.. most people are graduating or should be by now that I started with...

    I have had to give up on calculus...

    I really hope that those of you saying or implying A.D.D. isn't real never have to deal with it personally.. and I hope if you have kids you will be involved enough in their life to actually do something about it if it happens.
  12. Gritwater

    Thread Starter

    Nov 3, 2010
    all you have described is simply a rude friend. but go ahead and let him convince you he has a problem... it's like a cheater telling you the reason he cheats is because he (blah blah blah) There is no excuse for an active choice.

    I wish someone put some magic label on me that lifted all responsibility to doing what I had to do in school.

    My parents wish someone put some magic label on me that lifted all responsibility of discipline off of them, because then, my bad behavior wouldn't have been their fault.

    Do you know why you struggled til you were 27 was not because you weren't diagnosed with a magical label, it's because you were never taught how to act as a kid, allowed to do it, and you're behavior continued into your adult life.

    life's tough.... if college were easy, everyone would have a degree. college weeds out the have's from the have not's. So, you can either blame parents not hugging you enough as a child, or pull up you bootstraps and get it done. I struggled in math too. I had to take one course 3 times, another one twice. Math sucks, but I didn't give up on it because of some imaginary disease

    I am convinced though, that when scientists find the mythological ADHD gene, it will be right beside the mythological gay gene too. lolol
  13. Snow_Fox

    Snow_Fox Well-Known Member

    Mar 31, 2010
    I failed algebra 2 in my junior year of high school.
    I retook it my senior year. Failed it again.
    had to take 8 courses my last semester as a senior in high school to graduate.

    I took math 155 at my college. FYI that is the same material covered in algebra 2 in high school.

    Failed it again.

    Took it once more. 4th time I passed it. I spent more time studying than I can even remember.

    Took math 165 which is trigonometry next semester.

    Failed it.

    Took it again.

    Failed it.

    Took it again.


    took math 200 calc

    Talking to my advisor not even a week ago he said and I quote, "I advice you to change concentrations with in your major, same courses less math".

    You know what disgust me the most? You sound just like my parents.

    "oh don't blame dyslexia and A.D.D. on your problems!"

    You people make it sound like I ****en wanted to fail.

    I'm not giving up on it because of some "imaginary disease" as you so quaintly phrased it.

    I am giving up on it because, a guy with a P.H.D. said "hey buddy.. look man.. you gotta graduate sometime".

    Never in my life did I A. Know I had A.D.D. and B. Know I had dyslexia.

    My parents knew never told me and never let me use it as a cruch.

    Which is fine if your actually going to DO something about it.

    No they just sat back watched me fail and told me I'm worthless.

    They are just as much at fault for me.

    And please, I refuse to believe you went to college. If you went to college you sure as hell missed the point of going. That being to become a better person capable of reasoning on a higher level :/

    See I can imagine you saying the same thing as my parents "its not our fault you aren't going into calculus". And that is true to an extent.. they aren't forcing me to change concentrations or not go into it.

    However, if your a parent, it is your job to do more than discipline your children, if they have a problem, you need to make sure it is taken care of.

    Well now I'm an adult.. my problems aren't theirs anymore.. but, that doesn't mean they aren't responsible for them.

    "Well he doesn't write a 9 instead of a P anymore.. he is cured!" doesn't quite cut it.

    They did nothing to help me in school. And from the looks of it, it seems like your the kind of person who believes as long as someone elses kid doesn't bug you, they must have automatically done a great job parenting.

    I STILL hold myself responsible for my grades.. I have NEVER used it as a crutch or an excuse to not do well.

    I have ALWAYS held my self accountable and do so even now.

    This isn't some magical label that makes me hate myself any less, this isn't some god send that cures me of my responsibility.

    I still feel like the worlds biggest **** up.

    And that is what bugs me the absolute most about this whole ordeal.

    I screwed up I admit it. However, my parents have never once felt like they did anything wrong.

    Even now I don't say "well, I am not turning it in because, I am A.D.D." or " I didn't do that because, I am A.D.D."

    I just stay quiet and hate myself for sitting down and not being unable to push myself to do something. Or to sit down and try to do it and then just completely lose my train of thought. not once, not twice, but for HOURS at a time.

    I still don't blame the A.D.D.

    however, I will be the first to say that, had my parents paid attention growing up and had these issues been addressed at a younger age, my life would be completely different.

    Now, I can't say its their problem because, I am an adult..

    However, I hate that the world gives THEM total release from guilt, why?

    Because, in life parents always get sympathy over the child.


    and I never implied college is suppose to be easy.. however, you missed the point about me having horrific grades since kindegarden and that being completely unaddressed.
  14. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead

    Oct 29, 2009
    Right Behind You
    I figured this would happen and I'm going to go ahead and call this game in advance.

    Since the topic comes across as an attempt to start trouble anyway and some people are attempting to state what is wrong in a person's life without ever meeting that person or really knowing anything about them, it all comes out as flame bait from the jump.

    Thread Closed

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