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Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Roxors, Aug 28, 2010.

  1. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    I know there is an app for this but it doesn't have all of the Chuck Norris jokes on there....

    So if you got one post it here.

    "Chuck Norris doesn't breathe he holds air hostage."

    "Chuck Norris WILL survive in 2012."

    "Chuck Norris cried once, but God made him promise not to ever flood the earth again."
     

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  2. Ninja Monkey

    Ninja Monkey Well-Known Member
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    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
     
  3. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion, now Neo is "The Two"
     
  4. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    Chuck Norris can divide by zero
     
  5. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    Chuck Norris invented Water.
     
  6. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris can swim through concrete
     
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  7. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    Type exactly this on google.com "google chuck norris" then hit the I'm feeling lucky button
     
  8. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    done a long time ago, and i am still running, hence the current location, oh snap time to bug out Chuck Norris is coming....
     
  9. CrazyTechnoBoy

    CrazyTechnoBoy Well-Known Member
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    FACT:Chuck Norris once fell while climbing in California. It is now known as the San Andreas Fault.
     
  10. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    Fact: Chuck Norris hates when people capitalize every word in a sentence.
     
  11. eyebeam

    eyebeam Well-Known Member
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    Nice! :)
     
    Roxors likes this.
  12. jree

    jree Well-Known Member
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    keepin up with the jones'
    at your house when your not there
    Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a klondike bar

    Chuck Norris can drown you with air

    The sun can't look chuck norris directly in the eyes

    Chuck Norris beat his own shadow at rock, paper, sissors
     
  13. jree

    jree Well-Known Member
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    keepin up with the jones'
    at your house when your not there
    This is by far the best thing that I have seen on my computer since I first discovered porn
     
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  14. CrazyTechnoBoy

    CrazyTechnoBoy Well-Known Member
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    lol. and hey roxors, im changing. i might do it sometimes but im truely changing! lol
     
  15. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    Chuck Norris isn't allowed to wash his clothes in the oceans anymore. The tsunamies were killing too many people.
     
  16. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    LMAO that works for me, i just thought of it so posted it :D
     
  17. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    Chuck Norris burns ants with a magnified glass at night.
     
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  18. jree

    jree Well-Known Member
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    keepin up with the jones'
    at your house when your not there
    Just made this one up myself:

    Chuck Norris can hold an iphone 4 any way he wants.

    No? No? ah whadya know bout comedy
     
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  19. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    When Bruce Banner gets angry he turns in the incredible hulk, when the incredible hulk gets angry he turns into huck Norris.
     
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  20. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    Chuck Norris likes to knit quilts...and by 'knit' I mean 'kick', and by 'quilts' I mean 'babies'.
     
  21. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    When Chuck Norris was born, the attending nurse screamed, "OH MY GOD, IT'S CHUCK NORRIS!!!" and promptly had sex with him. By this time, this was the third person Chuck Norris had slept with.
     
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  22. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    Chuck Norris hides his pillow underneath his gun.
     
  23. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.[/FONT]
     
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  24. Roxors

    Roxors Well-Known Member
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    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood just never his own.
     
  25. NightAngel79

    NightAngel79 Bounty Hunter Administrator
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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian.
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. [/FONT]
     

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