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Help Contact sync problem

The contacts on my Desire behave very strangely and I can't find any help on this forum or anywhere else. The contacts I primarily talk about are the google contacts. The sync is active and working(ish). Adding google contacts on the phone does not work, they just disappear as soon as I add them (at least if I also add a birthday to them). They don't appear in gmail either so they are GONE. Having noticed this after a while I started adding my contacts in gmail instead, and then let the sync upload them to my phone. This worked fine until today, as all of a sudden the phone decided to delete one of my family members. It's still there on gmail, but it won't sync up to the phone again!?! What is this crap? how can a simple synchronisation be so bugged? All I want is for the sync to keep my phone contacts and my gmail contacts equal! If there is a conflict the newest modified item should be used. It can't be that hard? I see a lot of people having similar issues with contacts disappearing left and right and synchronizations not working. Perhaps setting up a sticky with some answers could be a good idea? Edit: And sorry for the wall of text, this forum doesn't seem to recognize my newlines so they just end up spaces instead.
 
I had similar, basically as I had the contacts as 'phone contacts' linked to 'google contacts' when I started fresh in google, saved the contact, then deleted the phone contact, it actually deleted the google contact (because it's linked presumably?). Not sure if this is the correct action, but it was bloody annoying! Not so bad once I realised what was happening...

I have a couple of annoying things now.. I have a picture in my own google contact, yet this does not link with my own contact card on the phone.. also when I go to edit myself on the phone there is no link to google or facebook like there is on any other contact.. the only way I can get a picture is from the actual phone pictures. I cannot even delete my own contact card...

Any ideas?

Also I have a funny in that in my groups it keeps showing a number by the group, which randomily changes (the group that is, not the number). I have no unread messages etc, so what is this trying to tell me?
 
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