Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Snow_Fox, Sep 14, 2010.
Hey... Don't diss my sister, she do actually have a cat kennel! : < *laughs*
Wow, I had no idea you thought that about guys, OTD. I've been lucky. Everyone that I've seriously dated has been exceptional (not perfect but really great.) The problem is that until about 10 years ago, I was one of those crazy ex-girlfriends most guys have (not the stalking kind, just the pain in the ass kind.)
I was selfish, passive aggressive and an all around pain in the ass. I'm still that way, but at least I am old and tired now so not as many people have to deal with it. When my last boyfriend and I broke up, I decided to stop dating seriously and just have fun because I thought the same thing that you did.
18 months later, I met my husband (so much for revelling in what little youth I had left to misspend) and I wouldn't trade him for anything except maybe Bill Gates. In that case, my husband could be the pool boy.
Everyone that I've stayed with has been attentive and a great partner in my life while not being the sort of emo crybaby that people accuse men who treat women well of being. Taking your relationship seriously and respecting what made you want to stay with the person as long as you did doesn't make you emo and being on a first name basis with all of the ladies at the strip clubs when it goes south doesn't make you a man either.
There are just as many lying, cheating, philanderin' women out there, too. It's hard to be a good person (well for me it is) but sometimes you meet someone that you feel should have a good person looking out for them. That's a good place to be, I think. Good luck, Snow_Fox. Congrats, Steven58. It is hard to live with anyone for 31 years (no matter how much you love them.) I haven't lived with anyone for more than 18 and only 10 years for someone who isn't a blood relative, so I really salute what you've got going.
I still don't understand why people decide to take a sip of their drink when they read my posts. It's always something that's gonna get someone mad...or happy.
Bout time someone did that to you! Smacky you are now my hero.
Most of it has to do with how society and the media in it programs men and women.
My roommate is a complete tool. He belongs on Jersey Shore; he's loud and obnoxious and just an overall tool. He's a stereotypical frat boy...without actually being in a frat. Note, I said "stereotypical;" not all frat boys are what you see on TV and not all sorority girls are either.
Now, I'm not male feminist. If anything, I say a lot of racist and misogynistic things for laughs. But he treats the ladies like dirt like no one I have ever seen before. Funny thing? There has yet to be a girl in our apartment so far this semester. Damn, that hurts me too. But the media tries to program both genders into what a relationship is or simply how to get boys/girls.
The jackasses you hear about...they're not naturally made that way. Like I mentioned earlier, they're "programmed" to behave this way. It's not human to think that by going about those means of getting people is going to lead to something of substance. Some guys are told to be loud and obnoxious. To brag and boast about something and focus entirely on their egos to try and woo the girl at the bar. And it works. On a similarly 'programmed" girl. Gold-diggers? Someone has told that girl that by sacrificing all dignity and self-respect, you get what you want and you'll be happy forever with it. Pretending to be dumb and flirtatious is the way to be.
Humans aren't naturally programmed to behave like this; the people that do this are just misinformed about what it really takes.
Now I'm not sitting here rolling in the muff, but it doesn't take a lot of brains to realize that if you follow the media's script on relationships, it's good for the short-term...if you're lucky enough to get it going in the first place.
So what our moms warn us about boys and what rap music warns us about women...it's all based on individuals that are delusional from what they see on TV or are told is the "easy" way to find someone. Men aren't assholes by nature and women aren't naturally gold-digging, money-hungry whatevers that guys are told. It's those that make Jersey Shore their Bible and live by it.
As I was typing this, this came on shuffle on my iTunes. I think it's fitting.
YouTube - Jedi Mind Tricks - Trail of Lies
smacky.. while I do agree that a lot of it is "programmed" in by the media or whatever other medium...
I do believe that some of it does develop over time without help.. I mean unfortunately with my gf.. I didn't realize that we were both in the same situation.... I just viewed her side of the relationship as "better"... and really..the truth is I am a person who is normally very slow to anger.. and very level headed.. I had a poorly formed view of her situation for a long time...
Other people could easily let that go to their head.. "oh well I do this this and this, I deserve respek *****, I'm rick james!" type crap.
Likewise with women.. I am not saying some women aren't "programmed" but, I think it is easier for a woman to fall into the pit of "gold digging". Please women.. I am not saying your evil bloodsuckers here... (well cept maybe you OTD I see fangs.. maybe just a blood sucker and not evil?) However, my point is.. if your a fairly attractive woman, and you notice guys are willing to do more for your attention, then I could see how that progresses very easily into full blown gold digging.
Being a guy.. if I had women throw themselves at me offering me "perks" for being with them... I really don't know how I would fair.. Being completely honest in my last relationship, I loved my girlfriend a lot.. however, one problem we had was I'm a very "do something" oriented person.. so I'm constantly listening to music/playing video games/being what I consider "productive" (I consider most things that require some level of interaction 'productive' as opposed to watching pointless tv or drinking.. A movie can be evaluated artistically.. there is no redeeming qualities to jersey shore). I think she in some ways found my constant need from sun up to sunset to be doing something offsetting.. in a lot of ways it "detached us" or contributed to that process..
Now if I was a girl... and I felt the same way.. and the guy was well off enough to afford me what toys I wanted. then I could very easily see myself gold digging.. If the guy was reasonably attractive and reasonably loyal so as to prevent disease.. then hey..I get to sit around doing stuff all day long.. learning more (hopefully soon to start developing for android market ect). and being productive.. just having to satisfy a guy I would consider to some degree attractive anyway.. Then why not?
Now i know there are "hardcore" gold diggers out there.. going so far as to poke holes in condoms.. Or do other vile things.. but, that is a diff story.
and vegas I once held the same view as you.. but, honestly.. since we agreed to stay friends.. I see a smile I haven't seen in a while.. It is better to have loved and lost.. it is better to love and be loved.. than to hold ashes in your hand.
Maybe we will getback together.. or maybe I will just have a best friend. either way..I'm single for now.. and "on the market".. however, I'd take her back tomarrow or even right now if she called.. Of course I'd also go do crazy stuff tonight if there was a willing/attractive/safe participant XD.
Don't worry we are just the good guys there are still the ones out there that suck
What, make people spit their drinks out? OTD does it all the time.
Nope for making her do it with diet Coke, she did that to me and it ended badly. Now she knows how it feels, but I don't think the diet Coke burned her nose but I wouldn't wish that on anyone except maybe the guy who thought it would be a good idea to tax tuition in Pittsburgh. In that case he deserves just the nose burning, not the funny post that made it happen.
LOL!!! Spit my soda out...
You self-conscious women. Diet Coke tastes like artificially sweetened turds. How do you drink it? Why not just plod forth towards type 2 diabetes like the rest of us fatties.
Interestingly enough, I'm generally friends with my ex's. My exgf from HS actually offered to let us stay at her house if we were ever up that way... My wife has never met her, so was a little weirded out by it...
I don't think I've had one of those really bad breakups. Not that I've ever split with anyone without some bad feelings though...
I agree with smacky. Mostly, it's the media that portrays men as heartless, panty chasers.
I read somewhere that a brain study showed that men are more emotional than women, but they don't express it.
Me and my woman, Palmela Handerson have been going on strong since the eighth grade now. We're soulmates. *sniff*
HA i got cha beat i have twins for my soulmates oddly enough they have the same name... creepy....