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How Company Policies Are Made

Jan 11, 2010
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Pulled off Reddit:

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done round here.
And that, my friends, is how company policies are made.
 
Pulled off Reddit:

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done round here.
And that, my friends, is how company policies are made.

This is so true...I've seen stuff like this first hand. :(
 
Upvote 0
that is so true..

I love how at my last job.. coorperate wanted us to push EVERYTHING, EVERYTIME.

Can I get your email? no
Do you want a warranty? no
Are you sure, it is a car charger which means that in louisiana its gunna get hot in your car.. and even if it doesn't break immediately, its gunna suffer from wear and tear faster because, it will weaken the plastic.... Still no!
Do you have any eletronics laying around you would like to receive store credit for? - JUST SELL ME MY PRODUCT!
Do you have a cellphone upgrade, our store does not do the mail in rebates so you save money today and don't have to deal with - customer walks out.

For some reason coorp just doesn't understand that you can't always keep up with whatever quota they give you.. Customers don't want a warranty that cost 1/3rd the price of the product.. in addition to that you have to send the item off.. wait on a gift card then come in and hope we have what your looking for..
 
Upvote 0
that is so true..

I love how at my last job.. coorperate wanted us to push EVERYTHING, EVERYTIME.

Can I get your email? no
Do you want a warranty? no
Are you sure, it is a car charger which means that in louisiana its gunna get hot in your car.. and even if it doesn't break immediately, its gunna suffer from wear and tear faster because, it will weaken the plastic.... Still no!
Do you have any eletronics laying around you would like to receive store credit for? - JUST SELL ME MY PRODUCT!
Do you have a cellphone upgrade, our store does not do the mail in rebates so you save money today and don't have to deal with - customer walks out.

For some reason coorp just doesn't understand that you can't always keep up with whatever quota they give you.. Customers don't want a warranty that cost 1/3rd the price of the product.. in addition to that you have to send the item off.. wait on a gift card then come in and hope we have what your looking for..

How about those "would you like to open a credit card with us?"
 
Upvote 0
I always thought it went more like this:


Today's reading is from the Book of Corporate Life, Chapter 1, verses 1-15:

1. In the beginning was the Plan.
2. And then came the Assumptions.
3. And the Assumptions were without form.
4. And the Plan was without Substance.
5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."
7. And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell."
8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
9. And the Managers went unto their Directors saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
11. And the directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "It has very powerful effects."
13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
14. And the Plan became Policy.
15. And that is how shit happens.
 
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You have no idea how many rewards cards I have either. I have one for Jewel-Osco for when I'm back home, Winn-Dixie when I'm in the South, Best Buy, B&N, Borders Books, GameStop,...I forget the rest. There needs to be a universal rewards program.

Eh.. in al fairness to Winn-Dixie. they did just come out with a "save on gas" thing.. however, they aren't so much a "reward" program as "this is needed for discounts".

The rest... are a bit of a rip. 10% off used games which cost almost the same price as new games? I hate you gamestop... with a passion.

Gamestop promotes more piracy than anything.

With that said.. steam prevents it.. "I feel like a **** 5$ on steam... even I can handle that one" and thats how I lose the last 5$ i had to eat for the month every time..
 
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