How to enable usb transfer

I've already tried switching from mtp to ptp. NEITHER WORKS. This is getting extremely annoying and I find it even more annoying that google hasn't released an update to this issue as every other person in the world is having this problem. So, how do I connect my Nexus to the PC? I've tried XP, vista, windows 7, etc. The PC's don't even recognize a device is plugged in. It just says charging on the Nexus, on the PC it doesn't say "Unrecognized device attached" or anything. Doesn't pop up on the drivers under my computer either.