Basically, they'll be able to make phone calls, send texts, and browse the internet some... but they all will still have one special capability regardless -
when placed upon sheets of paper (on a flat and level surface), the paper beneath will be resistant to being blown away by the wind.
All this and more for only $349.95! (plus shipping and handling, void where prohibited. See offer for details, some restrictions may apply. See a Physician immediately if phone excitement last longer than four hours, and avoid excessive alcohol consumption while texting)