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Isolation is beautifully painful

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Member243850, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. Member243850

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    When I was a lot younger... all I ever wanted was ridiculous success and isolation or to be left alone... in my little ivory tower... now that I am getting older and I am starting to succeed very well... I feel that isolation is a painful life...

    I feel so sad sometimes... I feel all the money in the world and all sorts of titles and little shiny badges... feel meaningless all of a sudden... could never make me happy like I once thought they could...

    I was warned by many of my great long time friends at the crazy success rate I am moving in - I am going to have my mid life crisis A LOT earlier in my life than normal people they said... it feels very true now :(

    I see what they mean.

    I am missing so much in my life... I once believed success was the center of the universe... now I feel like everything I thought was extremely important is now meaningless... just nothing...

    I had someone in my life... but it was extremely painful... a very very very bad experience... now I have this fear of letting nobody in to the point where I don't even want any more people in my life... out of fear... but I want love so badly...

    I want love so badly but yet so afraid to let anybody in... because of being hurt too much like before :(

    Have you ever been hurt so badly in love that you can't even think straight? That black seems white and whits seems black and everything seems like a lie?

    I don't know if I am ready to go down that road again... I have been liked by many women ... but they never seem to fit the bill... many that really like me but they can see I am very weary...

    It is dangerous to let certain people into your life.

    "Pain is knowledge"

    I would love to share my life with somebody.... but I am always fearful of being hurt like that all over again.... please tell me I am not alone :(

    Don't you just wish you could have somebody in your life and never have the fear of being torn apart?
     

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  2. shalemail

    shalemail Android Expert
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    You're far from alone buddy. I am certain there's a greater percentage of people in this world looking for Mr or Mrs right than the ones happily enjoying their perfect match. And that's not even taking into consideration all the people in bad relationships. ;)

    Relax, your somebody is out there, and trust me, it's worth putting yourself out there and taking the hurt and abuse to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It took me more than than 30 years and one failed marriage to find my soul mate. o_O:D
     
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  3. Member243850

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    Aww thank you shalemail :)

    Thank you for the wonderful reply :)

    Damn it was painful I don't know if I should open again like that :'(
     
  4. LV426

    LV426 I say we take off and nuke this place from orbit
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    You seem like a really nice guy, empathetic and genuinely caring towards others. Those are good qualities, you have a lot to offer in a relationship.
    I've not been really hurt bad by someone, but I can understand the pain it causes, and maybe makes you unwilling to put yourself in that situation again.
    But you have to take that chance/risk. We don't always get it right, but I do think you will find what you are looking for sooner or later.
    Best of luck mate.
     
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  5. lunatic59

    lunatic59 Moderati ergo sum
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    How can love put you on the top of the world when love stinks? How can you find love at first sight when love is blind? How can a coconut migrate to medieval England?

    Hint: If you did not come up with the same answer to all three questions, you are doing something wrong. :D

    @Stinky Stinky , there was this one girl I knew for years in school. I finally got the nerve to ask her out and in the middle of the first date she left with another guy. My first "true love" dragged me through a labyrinth of lies to make me believe she was cheating on me with a guy who had no clue he was being used until I confronted him about it. That was the day she left with the guy she was really cheating on me with.

    Been married now for 31+ years to the same woman who, in many ways is definitely not my 'soul mate' ... of course I don't buy into that soul mate crap. That's just the endorphin's talking. o_O

    The moral of the story is find another swallow you don't mind sharing a coconut with and fly to England.

    (Makes about as much sense as "love") ;) :D
     
  6. AZgl1500

    AZgl1500 Android Expert
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    Wife #1, we made it 22 years...
    Wife #2, a mistake and lasted 4 years,
    Wife #3, worse mistake, lasted 2 years and I bailed out.

    After leaving #1 the kids dropped me like a hot potato

    in '08 an 18 wheeler T-boned me on my motorcycle and nearly killed me.... that was the magnet to get #1 and the kids back to me..... we have been "together" ever since.

    Wife #1 and I are back together but not "married" as the IRS rules would totally consume her retirement check if we combined our incomes as "joint" returns.... w/o us being married, she does not have to file at all.

    I spent a lot of years working my ass off to make "money" and have lost all of it, every dime for different reasons. I now exist on the Social Security dole and my pension ( lucky I have one ). Those were lonely years, 18 years without being able to talk to my kids.... I missed the best part of their adult lives, when it should have been so much fun.

    But the happiness quotient is now back up there where it should be.

    I can feel your pain, been there.
     
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  7. LV426

    LV426 I say we take off and nuke this place from orbit
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    Well said. Somehow a 'like' didn't seem enough for that. I respect your refreshing honesty.
    In some ways there is pressure to attain an idealistic view of "true love". This crap about love at first sight. How can that be? How can you "love" a total stranger?
    People stick together for all sorts of reasons, and there are definitely some nasty selfish people in this world, who will use you and have no problems treating others badly.
    It's definitely a minefield.
     
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  8. lunatic59

    lunatic59 Moderati ergo sum
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    I call it "Fairy Tale Syndrome". Children are raised on stories of beautiful princesses and prince charmings and happily ever after and when they discover life doesn't work that way, it's a huge disappointment at a time in their lives when they simply aren't equipped emotionally to deal with it.

    Any girl out there looking to be swept off her feet will probably end up with a janitor. ;)
     
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  9. Member243850

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    Aww thank you guys for such wonderful replies... I know I have friends in interesting places ;)

    (And yes that statement is wonderfully ambiguous :) )

    A great friend is someone you can chat to without compromise... I don't know if I am ready to open up again :(

    I had a women at my old work... and she was hitting on me but I knew she had a boyfriend... my stomach got such an horrid feeling in it dealing with her it was scary... I have never felt so uncomfortable in my whole life seeing someone else's girlfriend just not care whatsoever and just sleep around like that... I totally rejected her... and she didn't like that - was not the nicest to me at work after that :(

    It is actually such a scary world in a lot of ways hey?

    I think I should try and just read the bible more or something like that to try and find some inner peace from this crazy world...

    It is too dangerous to fall in love in this world. :(

    Too much betrayal... too many lies... at least I am not alone!

    That is extremely comforting to know that I am not alone in this very harsh world... love is such a dangerous game!

    Never again I feel... never ever again... maybe time will heal me.

    Thank you everyone for your lovely responses. Seriously really do appreciate them.
     
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  10. AZgl1500

    AZgl1500 Android Expert
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    Social gathering places can help provide opportunities...

    church being one of those.... gossipy old ladies always try to hook up their unwed/divorced friends with a nice looking guy... :p

    I don't know that I would trust the online dating services so much.... I know folks who have done that, and they succeeded very well..... I have a good friend who moved from New Zealand to marry a nice gal near me... he made a few trips to "make sure" before he sold out at home. He has an interesting 'accent' :D....

    I would never have met him at all, were it not for him moving to the states and setting up near my 'motorcycle gang' ;) oops, are Honda Goldwing riders called a 'gang' :rolleyes:

    obviously he rides a Goldwing, so that automatically makes him a 'good guy' :)
     
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  11. Member243850

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    Haha no I meant to try and find God hahaha - I think churches are evil sometimes!

    I see satellite dishes and big neon flashing lights and they claim to "be followers of god" and they are spending money on buying new diamond encrusted swimming pools with tracker beams attached.

    I don't really like churches in a way... depends on the people I see involved... money seems to be their new god...



    Such a strange world and I can never quite figure it out :(

    It's just impossible...

    If there is a god then is it a sadist?

    Arhg sorry getting side tracked.

    Congratulations to all you brave and strong souls that managed to find beautiful wonderful love... :)

    I look to you for inspiration.

    Maybe I should try to see the other side of the coin? ;)
     
  12. lunatic59

    lunatic59 Moderati ergo sum
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    "God created man in his image ... and man returned the compliment."
    — Voltaire​
     
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  13. zuben el genub

    zuben el genub Android Expert
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    It's called narcissism. Like likes like. Like likes itself. Everyone seems to be so into their own feelings, that they forget other people have different feelings.

    I'm a loner. Most of the time I prefer it that way.
     
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  14. dan330

    dan330 Android Expert
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    hmmm... I feel bad for you... to scared to have fun.
    pain is life teaching you good lessons... but u have to keep trying.

    and I think you are "thinking" about it too much.
    try to get over it.. and forget it.
    stop living in the past.
    past is past
    look forward to the future.. and what great adventures you have ahead of you.

    stop looking for that great love. you only stress yourself out
    and put too much pressure on anyone that might try to get close to u.

    work on finding great friends... to spend good times and share good experiences with.
    Friends that will be there through ups and downs...
    support you... protect you from the ones that will hurt you or try to take advantage of you.

    as you go through life with great friends... a love will join u
     
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  15. Member243850

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    Aww thank you dan :)

    Yes... I like to live in isolation... it's very unhealthy. My friends keep calling me out but I decline. Damn sometimes I just need to find the right people to hang out with.

    Over analyzing.... that is so true!

    Dive into something with little fear but a little bit more wiser than before. You are right buddy I will find somebody some day and it will happen when I least expect it :D

    Argh I wish I wasn't such a coward sometimes... I know! :D

    I will cheat!!! >:--D

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Clementine_3

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    Stinky!
    Carry on.
     
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  17. Member243850

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    Ahh there was supposed to be an image in this message but it didn't show up with a guy hypnotizing a woman haha.

    Thank you dan for your response buddy... gosh I wish I wasn't such a coward and afraid to be hurt- you are 100% correct :(

    Aww thank you all for your responses :)

    I have got good success now financially in the eyes of the world and myself ... but I feel I am not successful in other areas of my life... I am such a loner and feel like life shouldn't be like this... in a way... working so hard but feeling so lonely... kind of meaningless in a way...

    Argh it sucks being alone and when I try to ask girls out - I got rejected :(

    For some of us like myself it is really hard when I try to give my heart to someone it's not some minor insignificant act I do. It is very precious someone's heart...

    I have been hurt too many times I think :(

    I will just get messed up again

    [​IMG]
     
  18. LV426

    LV426 I say we take off and nuke this place from orbit
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    I've been searching for that all my life. I have my family, but other than that, nobody I could really describe as close friends. There are people I know through the music pursuits I do.
    Would you describe yourself as a sociable person? Are you extroverted or introverted? And how do you see yourself meeting that special person? A friends network can be a very good way of doing that. So if you have friends and they ask you out, I would say be careful about declining too often. Because sooner or later, they'll stop asking you, and you may find yourself even more isolated.
     
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  19. Member243850

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    I am actually considering deleting my Android Forums profile out of privacy concerns.

    I used to be very out going... but even that felt strange as I got older just wanted to be more and more alone...

    I am considering deleting my profile but wonder if it will delete all my photos to eradicate any evidence that I was here...

    Eish - gotta get away sometimes hey?

    What a crazy world we live in... I made a new saying:

    "Everything is mad"

    What do you think?
     
  20. Kaat72

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    I'm not mad :thinking:
     
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  21. Member243850

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  22. dan330

    dan330 Android Expert
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    i am a little bit upset
     
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  23. Member243850

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    I don't blame you I am also upset too.

    I feel so sad too sometimes. It's terrible in a way but also awesome... well kind of.

    But why are you also upset? Do you also get lonely sometimes?
     
  24. dan330

    dan330 Android Expert
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    I think I am about to .. call it quits with my GF.

    she is great.. but to many red flags..

    heats wants to stay..
    head says run!
     
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  25. Member243850

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    Yeah that is SO true!

    RUN RUN RUN!!!

    I am going to be single for ever man!

     

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