Help MAJOR crash/uninstall/app issues on boot

New to this forum so bear with me...

Today my phone was slowing up after some updates, so I did a quick reboot, as you do. Upon loading up again, nearly EVERY perceivable process crashed during startup sequence, giving me numerous "Unfortunately, the *something* process has stopped" warnings?! These included:

Google Play Services
News & Weather
and many, many more.

Once I had gotten past these dialogs, the homescreen did appear. I tried to load up an app, but alas! The same dialog appeared for each app that I tried to load. This is now happening on every reboot, with every app, and also spontaneously while the phone is unlocked. I have tried safe mode, but this COMPLETELY crashes with the amount of dialogs it opens all at once.

If someone could help me out it would be much appreciated. I do hope this is fixable without a factory reset; I've got better ways to spend my time!