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Tips Movies You *Won't* Watch Again ...

Discussion in 'TV & Video' started by rootabaga, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. rootabaga

    rootabaga Android Expert
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    and are sorry you watched the first time. :D




    In contrast with the "movies you watch again and again" thread I though it would be helpful to have a thread where we ward off people from wasting time and/or money on movies that are just awful for one or more reasons. You know the ones I'm talking about, they lure you in with the trailer, tag, cast, something, but it's just rotten from the beginning and then gets worse from there. ;)

    Here are two that easily fit that bill. One I just saw yesterday, and the summary of it and cast highlights (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, John Turturro and Richard Jenkins) caused me to watch it: "God's Pocket." A complete waste of talent, poorly scripted (but then it's a cruddy idea as well) and improperly billed as a "comedy-drama." There's virtually nothing funny, just a couple of quick jokes here and there; the theme is dark and dramatic throughout. It starts with a funeral and ends with a corpse in the street and in between is just layers of cinematic putrefaction. Indeed, the only good thing I can say about it is the running time is under 90 minutes.

    The other I think I've mentioned here once or twice: "Nothing Lasts Forever." This movie had an amazing cast, but it went absolutely nowhere. Indeed, the subtitle for it should have been "except maybe this movie." I saw it the week it was released and the word was already out; there were only maybe 15 people in the whole theater on a Saturday night. It closed the next week. My GF fell asleep about twenty minutes in, and the only reason I stayed was because I kept trying to figure out why so many talented people had lent their name to this complete waste of celluloid. This is the single worst movie I've ever seen, hands-down.

    There are others, but that's enough to get us started. What's the worst movie you've ever seen?
     

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  2. LV426

    LV426 I say we take off and nuke this place from orbit
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    That's about 90% of films for me. I keep going back to the classics I love, as most productions these days leave me feeling like I just wasted 2 hours of my life.

    I've not seen it, but apparently one of the worst films of all time was Battlefield Earth, starring John Travolta.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_Earth_(film)
     
  3. mikedt

    mikedt 你好
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    Teachaaa
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    Despicable Me 3
    Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
    Kong: Skull Island
    Transformers: The Last Knight
    Deadpool
    Wonder Woman
    Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi

    These are all movies I've seen in the the cinema in the last year or so and thought...MEH!...and certainly won't make an effort to watch any of them again.
     
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  4. lunatic59

    lunatic59 Moderati ergo sum
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    Anything with Adam Sandler in it. The un-funniest comedian that ever tried to tell a joke.

    Absolute bottom of my list is "The Hotel New Hampshire" (c. 1984) despite the cast including Rob Lowe and Jodi Foster, it is one of the few movies that I've ever walked out on before it was over.
     
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  5. mikedt

    mikedt 你好
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    Here's two that I can remember renting the videos, and gave up watching because they were just stupid.

    Battle Beyond the Stars, with Richard Thomas (John-Boy Walton).
    Ground Control, with Henry Winkler (The Fonz from Happy Days)
     
  6. Hadron

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    The problem with unwatchable films is that I tend to forget their names as well. Hmm, I think I once watched The Tree of Life, in which case it fits the category as I remember nothing about it.

    One I've given up on however is E.T.: I've tried 3 or 4 times and always fallen asleep before the end. So I've decided that whatever its merits it's clearly not for me.
     
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  7. LV426

    LV426 I say we take off and nuke this place from orbit
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    100% agree!!

    Good soundtrack though. John Williams delivers, as usual.
     
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  8. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    The remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I like Johnny Depp but there are some roles he just can't (and shouldn't) do
     
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  9. mikedt

    mikedt 你好
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    I never cared much for Pirates of the Caribbean, and I did see it once.
     
  10. rootabaga

    rootabaga Android Expert
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    Totally out of the blue (!) Amazon suggested I might like "Fifty Worst Movies Ever Made," which is a one-hour run-down of fifty bad movies. I typed up a list as it played. I've seen a couple of them and they certainly belong on this list (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the Wild Women of Wongo).

    From the short snippets, I can say with some assurance I have no interest in seeing any of them. Even the Seinfeld reference to Plan Nine from Outer Space can't help. ;)

    INTERIM EDIT NOTE: I decided to add links to imdb pages for the ones I could find there. I'll come back and finish as I have time. ;)


    50 Glen or Glenda
    49 Mesa of Lost Women
    48 Troll
    47 Teenage Zombies
    46 The Fat Spy
    45 Voodoo Woman
    44 Ishtar
    43 Frankenstein Conquers the World
    42 The Creeping Terror
    41 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    40 Howard the Duck
    39 They Saved Hitler's Brain
    38 Black Belt Jones
    37 Greetings (First film released in US to get an "X" rating)
    36 The Great Alligator
    35 Hillbillys in a Haunted House
    34 TNT Jackson
    33 Robot Monster
    32 The Incredible Melting Man
    31 Firebird 2015 A.D.
    30 Dracula vs. Frankenstein
    29 Bride of the Monster
    28 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (no Burt Reynolds)
    27 Xanadu (This is a really good musical if you see it performed on stage)
    26 Leonard Part 6 (Bill Cosby starred but denounced the film after release)
    25 The Wild Women of Wongo
    24 Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
    23 The Ape
    22 Galaxy of Terror
    21 The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
    20 Snow White (German version 1955, even the dwarves have different names, like Bushie, Blackie and Teddy)
    19 Creature from the Haunted Sea
    18 The Swinging Cheerleaders
    17 Trial of Billy Jack
    16 Killers from Space
    15 Spider Baby
    14 Trog
    13 The Three Stooges in Orbit
    12 The Crippled Masters
    11 The Sorceress
    10 The Crawling Hand
    9 Bloodsucking Freaks
    8 J.D.'s Revenge
    7 Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster
    6 Killer Shrews
    5 Great White (bad Italian ripoff of Jaws)
    4 Plan Nine from Outer Space
    3 The Thing With Two Heads
    2 Eegah!
    1 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (a musical horror film)
     
    #10 rootabaga, Apr 5, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2018
  11. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    Awww.. I actually liked Howard the Duck. Very campy but had good snippets of humor
     
  12. khynesoz

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    Don't know if I could ever sit through suicide squad again
     
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  13. Member243850

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    Suicide squad was TERRIBLE ... good lord that was a disturbing rubbish heap... I forgot about that garbage - it was so bad when you reminded me of it I instantly cringed.... cringe worthy is an understatement...

    I also did not really like the latest Star Wars it has gone down a scary road :/ but might watch it again but might get sick of it and make it worse.

    It is so hard to pull off something as incredible as the original matrix (think matrix 2 & 3) soooo I don't think I will watch those again they ruined my memories of how awesome the original movies were... definitely did not do the originals justice.

    I also didn't like the avengers it is rubbish as well.

    Twilight was also such rubbish I hope they show a pre warning before the film to caution you that your intelligence will drop after watching the film!

    Twilight is one of the worst it was like REALLY bad I hate that movie and that slimly looking vampire he looks so dodgy I wouldn't trust a dodgy guy like that looks like he sells broken 2nd hand cars "only ever driven by an old lady once a week" kind of thing...

    So slimly he looks like he can slide uphill... Twilight is one of the worst movies of all time.

    ....

    thinking of those chick flicks.....

    my most hated movie of ALL TIME has got to be 50 shades of gray / gay ... err I mean 50 shades of grey!

    50 shades of gay is BY FAR my most HATED MOVIE OF ALL TIME...

    I HATE THAT MOVIE AND EVERYONE THAT ACTED IN IT... IT'S LIKE SO BAD GOLD DIGGING FANTASY DELUX

    Who in their right ****ing mind - a gabazillionare (Mr Grey - no imagination what so ****ing ever about the naming of wooden / cardboard acting characters) is EVER going to go for a CLEAR ****ING GOLD DIGGER... so freaking bad that gold digger movie!!

    she is just a ****ing GOLD DIGGER (I HATE GOLD DIGGERS) it is for women to get their gold digging fantasy fix so they can think of all those fancy cars / houses they can steal from their ERR I mean "kindly ask for" from their husbands / boyfriend...

    50 Shades of GAY has to be the absolute WORST FILM OF ALL TIME.

    I hope all gold diggers fantasizing about robbing extremely brilliant / hard working billionaires DIE from all kinds of cancers... a nice slow death... so

    SO my most HATED films are in this order:

    1) 50 shades of g.ay / gray / grey! (omg I HATE this film SO MUCH)
    2) Twilight is a very good 2nd place but can never overthrow the king of shit (50 shades of gay)
    3) Matrix 2 & 3 (very bad and should never have been released)


    Not too sure what else but these 2 gold digging fantasy films make me feel sick whenever I watch them!

    What is really scary is how many gold diggers there are out there to actually not only make them "economically viable" but these films made BILLIONS or something completely insane my mind can't understand it still scary scary scary

    Wow - when did gold digging films become so insanely lucrative / popular??

    Scaaaaaaaaaaaaaarry!

    Scary times gentlemen! Scary times!

    Someone should invent an anti gold digger spray
     
  14. Member243850

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    50 shades of gold digger!!



    this short film is GENIUS! :D

    watch your back guys..... the spades are everywhere!
     
  15. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    Wife and I just watched Justice League this weekend. We were very underwhelmed and am sure we won't watch it again
     
  16. Hadron

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    I believe that 50 Shades started life as Twilight fan fiction, so there's definitely a theme here.
     
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  17. dontpanicbobby

    dontpanicbobby Android Expert
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    Damn you @rootabaga... o_O

    The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies is my goto answer.

    So, the Original Death Race 2000.

    Loved the 2008 remake though.
     
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  18. Clementine_3

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    Forrest Gump. I so hated that movie!
     
  19. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    Then you would prolly like this vid ;)

     
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  20. mikedt

    mikedt 你好
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    Would I regret going to see Avengers: Infinity War?

    101318.97845092_270X405X4.jpg
     
    #20 mikedt, May 14, 2018
    Last edited: May 14, 2018
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  21. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    It is still making mad amounts of money in the theaters. I haven't seen it yet but I am certainly going to!
     
  22. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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  23. dontpanicbobby

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    The one about the apartment building was better.
     
  24. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    I am a huge fan of Escape From New York for reasons I can't explain. So naturally when the sequel Escape From LA came out I watched it. To this day I still can't unsee some of the most horribly done effects and action I have ever seen
     
  25. Zigman66

    Zigman66 Android Enthusiast
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    Any movie with the word Sharknado in the title. And my wife loves 'em :rolleyes:
     
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